Fading Away

▪︎ Bullet Like Thoughts ▪︎

I z u k u ' s   P O V

"--And put your pens down."

I sighed, as I heard Mr Aizawa... I knew I would get the worst scores in class, I mean everyone else has been working non-stop and I finished a three-season anime this week. I'm so useless. As for why, well...

I can't focus on my work. It's just so exhausting, I don't feel like doing anything, this week has been hard for me, then again, the exam weeks were always hard— ugh what am I saying, I shouldn't be complaining, its a waste of time.

'You're a waste of time and space, idiot.'

'Stop! Not here, not right now!--'

"Izuku, you good?" I hear Kacchan's voice, ever since Mr Aizawa learned that he has been helping me, he assigned him his old seat back.

Kacchan has been staying over at my place, mom is coming home in two days, it can't be that bad... I just hope he doesn't tell her anything.

"Y-Yeah..." I say and he fully turns around to face me, "You know you can talk to me, right nerd?" He says and I just nod my head.

It's Thursday, the last day of the written exams, and the physical part of the midterms are today too... I wonder how they paired us up—

"Class Dismissed." Mr Aizawa says and with that, he leaves the classroom holding the exam papers. I see Ururaka make her way here so I prepare myself to fake my best smile.

"Hey, Deku! How did it go??"

"Hey Useless! How did it go??"

W-What— did she just call me useless...? I knew it... she doesn't want to be my friend at all, she thinks I'm useless, it's not like she's wrong or anything...

"I-It was f-f-fine, I guess..." I replied with a bright forced smile, thankfully it was enough to fool her.

"I'm sure you did a great job!"

"I'm sure you did a terrible job!"

I knew it-- even she knows it. I want to go home... "Wanna eat lunch with us?" She asks but Kacchan gives her a look, "No way! I'm eating with the nerd today!" He snaps at her but... everyone is used to it by now.

"Aha! Ship!" I hear Mina yell and Denki laugh a little... Kacchan has been more friendly than usual recently and what he told me back at their house confused me a little.

A part of me wants to believe him... the other part doesn't trust him. Not to mention the voices saying 'I'm unlovable'.

"Quit listening to us Raccoon Eyes!" I see Mina hidebehind Kirishima, still laughing... I sigh, this is too much attention on me. I really don't like this. It feels like they're all looking at us-- they're all looking at me-! Why are they staring at me? Ughhh, quit staring! I wanna scream out but nothing comes out, my heart starts racing, why now off all times?!?

My thoughts felt like bullets going to my head.

I was in pieces.

I needed to get out of here. I couldn't hear anything, I hate it when this happens-- the ringing in my ears increased, my body moved on its own and I ran out of the room, I was sure Kacchan would be following me but he already knows so it's fine.