De Villiere #1: Countless Times

Kabanata 1

Thank you for these, trixie! ☝️☝️ Love you!

KABANATA 1

"The fuck sassy? Can you stop making that face and hiding from my back? Nakakainis kana ha" inis na sabi ni mae sa'kin nakaunot ang noo.

I sighed heavily, umalis sa kaniyang likuran at muling nilibot ang tingin. I'm getting nervous as hell that night was finally over at kinakabahan ako na mag landas muli kami nung convient boy na 'yon!

After I slapped him, he just stare at me. Hindi na muli ako pinansin. Bigla akong nahiya at nandun parin ang inis sa kaniya. Like argh! Bakit nya ginawa 'yon?! Why did he kissed me!

I didn't even know him?! Baka mamaya may sakit pa siya or something na germs or virus?!

Well he's good looking, but no!

Pinukpok ko ang aking ulo gamit ang aking palad. That guy was getting on my nerves! Kapag talaga nakita ko sya, I will file him a case and sue that guy!

"What happened?" Mae asked me.

We're now here in café, naisipan lang namin bago pumasok. I sighed heavily and looked down to my phone. Hindi man lang nag reply at hindi nag pakita si enzo sa'kin sa makalipas ng oras at isang araw.

I honestly don't know, 'di ko alam ang gagawin ko kapag nag pakita sya sa akin harap harapan. Maraming posibilidad na mangyari na he will say sorry to me and his reasons.. or he will break up with me.

Hindi ko alam kung magiging handa ba ako o hindi, but it's been a months at ayoko na ng ganito. Ayoko na ganito ang nararamdaman ko at ako rin mismo sa sarili ko ay naawa na ako. Everyday I was hoping na one day he'll appeared infront of me, even to his replies.

My eyes getting teary again ng mapayuko ako and started browsing and backreading on our conversation. If I have a chance na record ko ang pag uusap namin dati, kahit isang beses man lang para marinig ko nag boses nya.

Not gonna lie, I still love him, and I missed him so much.

Hindi basta basta mawawala o matatapon sa'kin yong 5 years na pag sasama namin. We started grade 10, we met each other on our grade 9, even if I don't know what the love was.

"I can come with you, do you want to come at him in manila?" Suddenly mae asked.

Naluluhang nag angat ako ng tingin sakaniya. I can see her eyes, naawa na siya sa'kin.

Naawa narin ako sa sarili, kung pwede lang na alisin ko si enso sa puso't isipan ko ginawa kona, pati narin yung sakit na mararamdaman ko, ginawa ko na, kaso hindi eh.

Baka babalik pa siya, baka may ginagawa lang, baka pwede pa, baka pwede pang ibalik.

Umiling ako kay mae.  "I'm fine.." paos na boses ko, before wiping my tears off. Mae just staring at me, observing my emotions.

"Hayaan mo na.. don't worry too much on me, ganito lang talaga pag nag mamahal.."

Umirap sya sa'kin. "But these feeling was getting worst sassy, Ihanda mo ang puso mo kung sakaling mag desisyon sya at bigla biglang mag papakita sa harapan mo. What will happen to you if he's going to break up with you?"

I don't know..

Hindi ako nakasagot sa kaniyang tanong. Maraming pwepwedeng mangyari at kung gagawa ako ng desisyon maaring tumaliwas pa ito kapag nasa mismong harapan at sitwasyon na ako.

Ngumiti lamang ako at nag kibit balikat. "Tara na, baka ma late pa tayo.."

We stood up at nag simulang mag lakad paalis sa loob ng café. "Tapos mo naba plates mo?" Pag iiba ko ng usapan.