⭑ ，𝖼𝗅𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝖾 ✓ ₊ ⊹

i dont know who i am anymore

SAPNAP

"You're beautiful nick"

🍊 ˖⋆࿐ ໋₊ ˖ ۪۪݁ ଘ ‧₊ ⋆ . ⋆

Tw. mentions of mental health and body
image issues!
this chapter is not meant to trigger anyone!! this is written simply based on how i, someone who deals with severe body dysmorphia , feels in situations like this!
remember that you're beautiful,
and you're worth it darling! never change
yourself for anyone, you're perfect <3

The morning sun burned my bare skin as the soft smell of the morning breeze filled the small apartment. I sighed into the now empty room, before sitting up and feeling all of my motivation drain from my body.
I spent most of my mornings like this, struggling to find the will to do anything but lay in my thoughts. I reached out to the other side of the bed, realizing that nick was no longer there, and immediately opened my eyes to look for the missing boy.

My eyes adjusted to the light, and as they did, I came face to face with myself. my reflection.

I froze, feeling the pit in my stomach begin to rumble with emotion, and my mind begin to fog. I fully sat up now, and threw my legs over the side of the bed, walking to the standing mirror which was usually, intentionally, turned around.

I ran my fingers down the sides of my body, feeling goosebumps rise on my plagued skin. The tips of my fingers grazed my thighs, my shoulders, my jaw, and lastly my stomach.

I felt sick.

The rough skin made me gasp, and the feeling of the warm scars along my legs made me repulsed.

This couldn't be me.

I stared at the girl on the other side. I could barely recognize her.

I could feel my heart begin to speed, and the butterflies in my stomach turned into stinging, vengeful wasps and cicadas. Bile filled in my mouth and the urge to scream overwhelmed my frail body.

I pinched at the skin on my arms and stomach, looking for something, anything, to save me in this moment.

I wasn't real, there was no way.

I covered my mouth, suppressing the short, uncontrollable sobs that erupted from my chest and fell to the floor.

I began to hear loud footsteps grow closer to me

"Y/N?"