TITLE MEANING:
A GREEK MYTHOLOGICAL CHARACTER - NIOBE - WHO KEPT WEEPING OVER HER LOSS OF HER LOVED ONE.
Renesmee
Still he didn't return but my life went on. A week went by, he still remained gone. . .
I measured the time in the faint meaning of my consciousness of my misery and wonder if it would one day be enough for me to simply be not consciously miserable anymore.
A photograph that was all it took for the tears to burst my restraint.
I look through my own dreary eyes on his face that has been caught in a moment of joy that's not eternal.
It cuts me depressed!
The waters settled onto my eyes burnt. . .reminding me of what I had lost? I clutch the photograph hard to my chest to make him listen the symphony that beats for. . . him.
I no longer knew how it still beat. I was numb yet somehow in agony. I wanted him back more than I did ever want anything.
He's gone.
And I can do nothing more than to repeat, "I'm not enough. I'm not enough. I'm not enough." I rock back and forth, mumbling at myself. I tug my hair, tufts coming out. I only hear the drumming beats of my heart.
The loss had impact every part of my being. . .there's a mental tornado in there which no-one can see, nor comprehend.
I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. What was is it? Obession? Possession? Whatever it was, it's the hallmark of every infactuation- based love story.
My head heady, hallucinogenic dose over him.
Something I never dared to admit I deserved.
I had turn sick & crazy! And I don't know how long could I suffer this more? Every second finds me skinny and shaking in a corner, certain that I'll sell my soul for him.
But would anyone take it away? I mean check myself, I'm pathetic mess unrecognisable even to my own eyes that was now hardened. My eyes were duller, colder and greyer than I remember it .
So now I've reached obsession's final destination - the complete and merciless devaluation of self!
The counting of time goes on. . . .so. . .and so.
They say time heals all wounds, but I don't think that's true. I think time only makes you get used to the wound, it makes you wake up and realise that you are one day further away from the moment your heart broke into thousands shards!
It just drags away the pain you feel so vividly day by day, but time doesn't take away the pain!
I don't know that if tge beats sunk claws into my neck, cloaking me from breathing anymore without. . .him. But breathing without him is apparently difficult, much more than I could imagine!
"Renesmee, Do you need something? " Someone said.
Him. I need him.
And nothing else matter anymore, no one else matters anymore.
♦️♥️♦️
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RETURN OF THE WIND : Jacob & Renesmee
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