unmendable ⍟ jaemin

↳ 27

Jaemin stirred awoke, kicking the messy covers off his legs and grabbing his phone by the bedside table.

6.10 am

he groaned, tossing his phone somewhere on his bed and facing the wall next to his bed. he felt as if he was the male version of sleeping beauty, being asleep for what felt like years.

" theres something wrong with me, " he self concluded, punching the wall with annoyance before deciding to get out of bed and ignoring the fact that everything around him seemed to be going either faster or slower than usual and usual sensations such as hunger and thirst was absent.

he stumbled onto the chair in front of him, pulling out the black file with all of the nct member's information. he wanted to take a look at the other members profiles properly since he hadn't done that in a while.

" its not like i care about them, " he mumble to no one in particular, " ive just got nothing to do. "

he spent a moment staring at the file, his brow furrowing in confusion.

" i dont think the file was this colour, " he ran a hand over its smooth surface even though he couldn't exactly feel how the texture felt like in his hands.

he discarded the thoughts in his head somewhere to the depths of his mind- something he had been doing whenever he felt all numb and alone- and flipped open the file to began reading it.

a hand was smacked on the file right in front of jaemin after what seemed like 5 minutes to him and he spared a glance at the owner of that hand.

he wondered why he didnt hear the sound of his room door opening when jeno entered the room.

" are you okay? " jeno asked in a concerned tone, " ive been calling your name and tapping your shoulder but you havent been replying me. "

jaemin raised an eyebrow, why in the world is he speaking so softly? he thought, asking jeno the question in his head but he only responded with a confused look.

" jaemin, " jeno said im a rather serious and louder voice, " are you seriously okay? you went out in the cold and come back all weird and stuff. you havent even eaten anything since then and you dont even seem the slightest bit hungry. ive been tapping you for the past half and hour and you didn't even seem to notice my presence. "

" go to kun hyung, or taeil hyung, " jeno suggested, " go check whats wrong with you. "

" there's nothing wrong with me, " jaemin blurted out, even though it wasn't exactly what he wanted to say, " get out of my room. "

" at least eat something, jaemin. "

jaemin released a sigh, " get out, " he said, the words he couldn't control came out of his mouth almost naturally, " GET OUT. "

he didn't know why he sounded so angry or why he was even shouting when he couldn't feel any sort of emotion inside him.

his best friend took a step back, his mouth hanging open from shock. he closed his mouth but opened it again to say something when he thought the better of it, backing out and shutting the door behind him.

jaemin's fist came in contact with the hard table, the loud sound coming out louder then he had expected.

he flinched, his eyes darting to his own hand which was shaking even when there was absolutely no reason for it to. everything seemed to not be in control but he wasn't sure of what to do, he was helpless and he wasn't exactly interested in getting help.

he picked his phone up from the bed, the time miraculously speeding up once again. the time was already 11pm, a timing where most and probably all the members were awake. he picked himself up, dragging his feet to the toilet in his room to wash up.

he stared at the reflection which he almost couldn't recognise- his hair stuck up in almost all directions, his face ghostly pale and his pale-pink lips chapped. the only thing he could recognise was his eyes that were devoid of emotions- almost like the eyes he had after he had gotten into the accident when he was younger. the eyes he had before he met y/n once again.

↳ hi guys!! merry christmas!! even though I don't celebrate Christmas, heres my Christmas gift to y'all :D
two chapters of unmendable 🥳🥳 hehe
i'll be posting on my Instagram too hehe ( @/soft.clf )
there's still one more surprise but i'll mention it in the next chapter instead hehe