The Broken One

Chapter 17

SAM POV

Paris had been magical whilst it lasted. The endless supply of luxurious food, the amazing hotel and even more incredible things that Nathan and I had gotten the opportunity to see. But it was almost as if that magic disappeared the moment that we stepped off of the plane and arrived back home. 

My normal life back here in America seemed like some sort of parallel universe, completely separate from our little vacation in Europe. The second that I came off of the plane, I could've sworn that I'd entered a new world entirely. And what a dull world it was. One with pain, sadness and eternal misery. Every single bad memory came rushing back to my mind, burning my brain with their evil images. Eli, my parents the abuse....

All of it.

We had been back for a few days and I could already feel myself going off the rails. Nathan's parents would be back soon and I was no closer to coming up with a solution as to where I was going to go once they'd returned. But I did have one comfort.

The drugs.

I couldn't stop taking them. I knew how bad it was but any sensible thoughts I had were long gone now and I only cared about that euphoric weightlessness the stuff gave me, the drugs were the only thing that could make me feel good. They were my escape.

It was impossible to do anything without them. They released my inhabitations and allowed me to enjoy moments, even if it was only because I was high. The truth was I didn't care anymore whether the emotions that I felt were real or just a façade given to me by the drugs. At least I felt good. And that feeling was so addictive. 

Nathan was trying his best to distract me from thinking about my future but there was only so much that he could do. Eventually things just got bad again and it became impossible to keep the dark thoughts out of my head. I just needed some sort of relief from it all. Nathan still had no idea though. I wouldn't want it any other way either. I knew that if he ever found out he'd be fuming and god knows what would happen then. Would he throw me out on the streets? Report me to the police? Or worse, take me back to Eli? Perhaps he'd just kill me himself, content that I was hopeless and impossible to save. Better off dead even. Is that what Nathan would think of me if he ever found out about my problems? Or did he already feel that way? What if 

I quietly took out the plastic zip lock bag that I'd been storing my stash in. I'd hidden it right at the bottom of my bag so that it wasn't visible. And besides, it wasn't as if Nathan would ever go through my stuff anyway. He was one of the few people I knew who actually cared about my privacy. 

"Hey, you wanna watch a movie?"

Nathan entered the room, causing me to quickly drop the zip lock bag. Nathan luckily hadn't noticed what I had been holding, so I fished around in my bag for a while before pulling out a chap stick, making it look as though that's what I'd been searching for. 

I had been sleeping in his sisters room since we were the only people currently staying in his house anyway. I was grateful that he gave me my own privacy too. It only proved how genuine he really was about how he cared for me. Nathan had made it more than clear that his kindness towards me wasn't just some strategy to get into my pants.

"Yeah sure."

I smiled, more than delighted to watch yet another movie with Nathan. He'd been showing me tons of brilliant films over the last few days and I'd loved every single one of them. Although, perhaps it was really just his company that I loved. So far we had seen more movies together then I'd seen perhaps in my entire life time. I'd never really watched a lot of TV before, not much with Eli and certainly never with my parents. Our TV was always in the sitting room and because that's where my parents spent the majority of their time, I never dared try to sit down on the couch. The abuse afterwards wouldn't be worth it, hence why I avoided them at all costs. With Eli on the other hand, there was rarely a lot of time for relaxation. He was always taking me places. Still, Nathan had certainly unleashed a love for film from within me.