(not smut sorry guys, !TRIGGER WARNING! mention of suicide, mental illness and self harm)
Having mental illnesses is hard to deal with, trauma doesn't define me but it sure does make it hard to see anything else worth something. I just want it all to stop, the constant noise in my head, anxiety boiling up my throat every time I do something wrong. The ache in my chest screams at me as I stand on the roof of U.A high and look out at the setting sun. My intrusive thoughts on a never ending loop,
'I should just die already I'll never be a hero.'
Tears silently fall down my cheeks, I whisper to myself, "This will make it all stop."
I walk closer to the ledge of U.A and look down at the ground, the grass a summer green holding many happy memories that play out in my head. Images clouded with my constant emptiness, I've been numb for so long that the only thing I feel is the anxiety making my body hurt. Depression feeling like a Neuss I can't untie, leaving rope burns to remind me of the times I cut into my skin. I always played them off as scratches and scars that I got from training but it was all me,
'No one loves me, anyone who says differently is LYING.'
I sob loudly, "stop, just shut up!"
I sniffle taking in the beautifully colored clouds that surround the sun, sometimes I just wanna be a cloud. No more faking smiles or laughs...just floating.
'they didn't see through my lies because they didn't care enough to bother.'
I walk to the very edge of the concrete roof, my toes hanging off the edge slightly. I throw my uniform jacket behind me that holds my suicide note in it's pocket, one line that I wrote makes it's way past my suicidal haze,
"Don't remember me as a tragedy, because I have no regrets for what I'm about to do." I say aloud, scoffing at myself, "How selfish of me."
'I'm just a burden to everyone around me, they'll be happier when I'm gone.'
The words invading my head make me wanna scream either for help or death, At this point what's the difference?
'I AM NOT ENOUGH, I WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.'
I let my eye's drift closed, the air brushing my hair back as I take a deep breath and smile solemnly.
Moments later The door to the roof opens, making me turn my head to see Aizawa-sensei. Panic growing in my chest,
"what are you doing (Y/N)? get off the ledge." He demands with more concern then I've ever heard from him,
I face back towards the beaming sun, "Why? what's the point?"
"This isn't funny, you're playing with your life here, please let's just talk about this." he tries to console me,
I chuckle sadly, "But isn't it? my life isn't worth enough to care about whether I throw it away or not."
"(Y/N) your life is worth more then you know, you have so many people who care about you! why would you take something so important to them?"
I laugh through my never ending waterfall of tears, "They don't care! No one cares! I'm...all alone."
My feet inch closer to the edge without my knowledge making me slip slightly, Aizawa-sensei steps quickly towards me with his hands out in front of him like we was trying to stop me,
"Fine, right now they. don't. matter. but what about me?"
My head spins towards him in surprise, "What?..."
"I care about you (Y/N), you think I haven't seen your scars?" He pulls up his sleeve to reveal the deep scar tissue that line his arms, "I am just like you."
Seeing the marks on his arms makes a feeling of understanding wash over me, "You cut?"
He nods, "When I was your age I felt the same way you did, worthless. like nothing I was doing meant anything...like I was nothing. But I beat it, I'm a hero and you will be too."
"I don't know if I can beat is sensei...it all hurts too much, I don't think I can-"
"you can! you can beat the battle I know goes on inside your head! I can't promise the pain will ever stop but your hearts makes room for it."
I smile genuinely for the first time sense I can remember, "Thank you Aizawa-sensei but this way...I know it'll stop." I spread my arms and fall back into the arms of gravity,
"NO (Y/N)!" Aizawa yells before jumping off the roof after me,
I fall for a moment in peace before I look up to see Aizawa had jumped off the roof with me, seeing his demise around the corner made me snap out of whatever kind of peace I had, "AIZAWAAAA!!"
"I'M COMING!!" He yells back as his body starts falling closer to mine,
"PLEASE JUST LET ME GO! DON'T DIE BECAUSE OF ME!" I scream back at him,
Before I know it Aizawa has me in the clutches of his scarf, he pulls me to his chest his arms wrapping around me. He takes his scarf and throws it towards whatever he can for it to latch on to,
"I will never let you give up (Y/n)!" He yells as we swing towards the ground with precision,
I see tears skid on his cheek and past his ear into the air, "Even when you think you can't hold on anymore I will pull you back!"
My hearts swells hearing his vow, sometimes I wish I was strong enough to keep my self alive.
We make it to the ground safely, the sirens of police cars and an ambulance makes its way closer to us. Our heavy breathing mixing together as I remain close to his body,
"why..." I sob,
"WHY COULDN'T YOU LET ME DIE!" I scream and begin hitting his chest,
"(Y/N)! stop! stop!" he says while tightening his grip around my body,
my shaking form and tired state prevent me from fighting any longer as I fall against his chest, "I could never let one of my students kill themselves...I won't!"
I lean my head against his chest and heave out a breath, the sirens finally stop as vehicles hault in front of us. Police officers, medics, some hero's and worst of all my class mates come running towards us. Aizawa's once loosened grip tightens again as everyone comes running towards us, the speed of which everything happens is almost startling, blurring me in and out of reality. Only hearing a faint ringing in my ears between Aizawia's voice mixed with random voices I don't bother to make out, I feel someone put there hand on my cheek making me look up into a pair of dark eye's,
"(Y/N) their going to take you to the hospital now." he says calmly,
my breathing becomes rapid with panic, "N-no, no, no please sir I-I can't."
"hey, hey calm down, it's ok. I'll be there with you the entire time...we tried calling your parents but-"
"but they didn't answer." I interrupt, finishing his sentence,
He nods and sighs heavily, "you can get through this without them, I'll always be here for you."
I smile at his honesty and nod before he takes my hand, guiding me to sit on the stretcher in the back of the ambulance. we sit in comfortable silence before I hear Aizawa whisper something under his breath,
"stay with me kitten."
(1329 words)
(as someone who has struggled with mental illness my entire life this was definitely difficult to write, please if you are struggling with this GET HELP! you are loved, you deserve love and YOU MATTER! I love you!)
(here is the the suicide prevention hotline number if anyone needs it 800-273-8255)

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Aizawa x Reader Oneshots
Fanfiction-smut warning -fluff warning -angst warning -requests are open I apologize in advance if I don't get to yours I do not own any of the characters I use in this story nor certain parts of the storyline to bnha I use -also most of these are x fem r...