Women Of Steel | ✔

XXVI

"You have no idea how to head back into the desert, do you?" Tara asks me. There isn't a hint of accusation in her voice but I bristle still. I have held my breath for the accusations, waiting for Ifatunji or Tara to dish out the blame, after all, it was me that accidentally raised a host of monsters, it is me Remilekun is after and it is because of me that hundreds will die. I want them to blame me, so at least, I can rage and take my anger out on something.

A part of me is afraid, most of all. I have spent the past month trying after first to be someone else I am not and now, I know who I am, or at least, who I was written to be in the stars. Yet, the nagging that grew into an ache does not appease even after knowing, I don't feel wiser or stronger. I just feel like a foolish child playing god — which is part ironic since I am a demigod.

I fix Tara with a sheepish look and unmount from my horse. Ifatunji looks from her to me and I have never seen him look so overwhelmed, the chief priest is always so calm, always looking like he has a wise word or two to say to anyone willing to listen. He looks like he is drowning on land now.

"I don't know," I admit quietly, looking at the ground and then back up quickly because the tracks of feet on the sand sends a shiver down my spine. I squint ahead and see that it looks like there was a festival in this very land. The footsteps go on and on until I cannot see them but know they continue.

I want to slap a hand to my head. I'd forgotten that to get to Remilekun, I would have to know how to reach her, but I don't know how to and by the way my mare looks at me expectantly, I know the animal isn't some magical animal companion, no matter how much I want her to be. Ifatunji glances at me with the same expectation.

"Well?" He says. "You don't know the way into the desert, our only chance is riding ahead and hoping we meet the Hausa army before the monstrosity meets them."

I ignore that he already thought my plan to ride out into the desert was foolish. But I know more than anything that whatever I do, I need to meet Remilekun, it is I who must end this.

"Do you not wonder what I saw when I was in that trance?" I ask him.

Ifatunji's brows furrows and his lips turn down in irritation, stretching the tribal marks on his cheeks. He is genuinely confused, I realize, not irritated. I look to Tara but her face is as blank as ever. Whatever had happened in that moment where time had been frozen must have been like it never happened to them. Orunmila is the god of foresight, I remember. Time is almost his slave, it must have been a flash, or a second in the mortal world, not minutes like I thought it was.

"I was in a brief trance, you do not know because I met with the god of foresight, he must have bent time to his will," I say. Ifatunji's jaw drops, he looks at me with awe. I wonder how much he knows about my heritage and if he is only beginning to acknowledge me as a child of a god.

"You spoke to Orunmila," He echoes.

"I did, and he told me that there is only a few days before my death." Somehow saying the words aloud doesn't scare me. I have heard the prophecy for so long that it feels like speaking of the fate of another, not mine.

This time, a look flashes through Tara's eyes. I catch it before she turns away.

"You know," I realize. Something nags at me hard, like when I was a child and rescued a dog from a trap when I followed my brother to pluck mangoes. The grateful thing had tailed us the way home and only ran off when Tadenikawo threatened it with a knife. This nagging is different, I am trying to clutch to a realization but it continues to slip.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She says flatly, her voice is a monotone. For the first time, I think about this strange woman with the little words and secrets. Then I look at her, peer closer at her face in the dark because it is familiar. The proud raise of her shoulder, her slender body and those eyes. It hits me at once, so hard that it knocks all the wind out of me.

"You're a daughter of Remilekun," I say incredulously. I want to say immediately how it is not possible, how Remilekun only has young daughters and how she has come back for all her children. But she would have no sway on Tara, who is older, wise enough to know good from evil. Remilekun cannot promise a woman who lacks nothing everything.

It explains why Tara is so recluse, quiet. If she is a daughter of Remilekun then she has the ability to foresee, she has a connection to her mother, to her sisters. A vision of Arewa flashes through my mind, angry and defiant. They are sisters.

A burst of laughter escapes my lips, I look from Ifatunji who doesn't look the least bit surprised — he must know — and to Tara who only stares at me. My answer, my map to Remilekun is within reach and I could have never guessed.

"You have to take me to her," I say, my voice torn between a plea and a command. "I have to kill her." My own words shock me. I knew that putting an end to this war means death, I just did not imagine that it would be doing the killing and I am ready, I realize. I did not suddenly develop a thirst for blood, I have seen blood and death enough in the past days that it is all I see when I close my eyes to sleep and I know that there is no end for a woman like Remilekun but death.

I will kill her. That is certain, even if I must die.

Tara shakes her head. "It will not end the way you think it will." She tells me.

"If you are not willing to tell me what you can see, then do not give me ominous warnings." I say tiredly, tired of repeating it over and over again. "I am not afraid of dying."

Tara's eyes are part sad, part warning.

"Death is not the worst fate that can befall a man."

***

I changed my mind, I decided to finish this story before I consider taking it down to work on it. Y'all do deserve to know how it ends, so here it is. I hope you enjoy and I promise, I'll have an update up every day until the final (5?) chapter are up.