falling - luke patterson

THREE.

[the night they realized]

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i cant handle change - roar

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TW: mentions of depression and suicide.

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willow sage parker was a 17 year old girl.

sure, she was a ghost. but that only made life better for her.
she was free to do what she always wanted to do; live life how she pleased. willow dreamt of having a life identical to the people in shows and movies. they had such a pleasing life, such a perfect one. even if the characters went through hell, she reckoned it only made them stronger. and more of the person she longed to be.

but there's the catch... longed. willow longed to be strong like them, but it always felt like she couldn't. it felt as if she couldn't push herself that last bit to power through. as if she didn't want to live anymore, couldn't put the effort and time into living.

willow always felt like a burden to everyone she knew. never believing that she was capable of love or deserved to be cared about. always feeling like she took up space in this world that should be given to someone more deserving. over the course of the three years she realized felt like this: the girl had only told one person how she truly felt. and that person was luke patterson.

no one would ever take the time of day to listen to her. but he did. he always did. he let her talk for hours, and never interrupted. he wanted to understand how she felt. although the boy didn't go through nearly as much as she did, he still understood how hard it could be. luke never would've thought willow was going through this though. it was as if she always wore a mask, he thought to himself one night.

when they first met, he never pushed her to do or say anything she wasn't comfortable with. after she told him practically her whole life story, in which he payed incredibly close attention to, and just listened... he told her his. although willow repeatedly told him he didn't need to if he didn't want to. she never wanted people to pity her.

they were both so gentle with each other. and that night that neither of them really wanted to remember, for certain reasons, was only the beginning of luke and willow. but this friendship the two had, didn't mean all of her true feelings and thoughts had just disappeared.

over the course of about a year, luke and willow had gotten extremely close. barely calling each other by their given names, but instead by their last names. it's what they did. the two of them always called their close relationship a friendship, for that's what it had been spoken to be. they never told each other those deep down feelings, solely in order to preserve the friendship. but as soon as one of them formed more than a friendship with someone who wasn't the other, all hell broke loose.

while this isn't the full backstory of luke and willow, it's important to get an idea of the feelings being felt that may have led to their meet. the night they realized no one understood them, but themselves. the night they discovered that the whole friend thing, was what they did.

with the two of them not having the best home life, it was difficult for either of them to have a proper understanding of love. maybe that's why they didn't realize what that deep down feeling meant, until it was too late.

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dying isn't usually something people look forward to.

but for willow sage parker, it was.