Mr. Stark, I'm not okay

Bucky finds out

Not again not now. Peter was panicking, the walls in his room were closing in on him and it was getting harder to breathe. "FRIDAY mute everywhere" Peter mumbled. "I am sorry, I am not allowed to go mute" FRIDAY answered. Fuck. Peter had been able to mute her yesterday, this meant that Tony had found out what he had been doing. His breathing got faster when he thought about what this meant and he panicked even more "Mr Parker, you're experiencing a panic attack, it is my duty to alert the nearest person" The AI informed. Peter tried to say something, but he couldn't. Instead, he tried to focus on his breathing, slowing it down enough for him to stand up, but that didn't work out either, only increased the hyperventilating more. He needed something that would take him back to earth, quickly, and Peter knew exactly what that was. He put his hand in his pocket, feeling the sharp edge of a razor blade. Just as Peter was about to dig it out, his bedroom door opened and Bucky stormed in.

"Hey buddy," Bucky said carefully, he was very uncomfortable and didn't know what to say to calm the kid down. "Fri told me you were having a panic attack" He continued. Peter looked up from where he sat on the floor, trying to wipe the tears of his face, but they got replaced by new ones. "I-im fine Mr white wolf sir" He mumbled in between breaths. Bucky sat himself down on the floor, taking the kids hand and putting it on his own chest. "follow my breathing" He said, taking deep, slow breaths. Shortly after, Peters breathing was back to normal and he had stopped crying. Despite that, he couldn't seem to get rid of the anxiety boiling inside of him and slowly turning into panic. "Um, you okay now?" Bucky asked awkwardly. Peter forced himself to slime a little. "Yea Mr white wolf sir, I'm totally fine now," he said. Bucky smiled a little, he liked the way the teen addressed him. Then he nodded a little bit and left Peter alone in his room.

As soon as Bucky had left Peter stopped smiling. His anxiety was taking over, he loosed touch with reality and was drowning in his own head. Once again Peter pulled up the razor blade from his pocket and rolled up his left sleeve, revealing his arm, full with scars. Without hesitation, he started to drag the blade across his arm, letting the cold metal bring him back to earth again. Peter didn't stop until his arm was full of long, bleeding cuts that were dripping down on the wooden floor, from elbow to wrist. He had put a little bit too much pressure on the blade and one of his cuts had been deeper than the rest. Blood started to pour out, quickly making the small pool of blood on the floor bigger. The blood loss made him lightheaded and very tired. just gonna close my eyes for a sec he thought, leaning against the bedroom wall, and giving in to the unconsciousness. Bucky had a bad feeling in his gut. The poor boy had gotten a panic attack, a bad one. Panic attacks weren't something that Bucky was unfamiliar with, something that HYDRA had made sure. Steve used to get them as well, often when they were together, therefore he knew how to handle them. But seeing the kid having one, it hit him differently. The winter soldier had a soft spot for Peter, just like everybody else in the tower. Even Natashas intimidating facade was broken down by the kid. The thing was, that panic attacks weren't the only thing the teen seemed to have problems with. Not eating was a given, but Bucky had during many occasions realized that Peter had many symptoms relating to PTSD. Sometimes Peter would dissociate for several minutes, random phrases or words would make him stressed out or even start to panic.
I'm gonna go check on him in a minute Bucky thought to himself. He wanted to make sure that Peter was alright after what had happened. Everyone else in the tower was at a press conference in Paris, but they had left Bucky and Peter at home. Maybe he would like something to drink he thought, taking a glass and filling it with water, before going to Peters room.

"Hey Peter, I was just about to go and train, do you wan-" Bucky interrupted himself when he looked into the kid's room. Peter sat against a wall, passed out, with a razor blade next to him. His left arm sleeve was stained with blood, as well as a spot on the floor beneath the arm. Bucky immediately knew what had happened, and wasted no time to rush to the boy. "Peter, wake up, wake up," He said in a panicked voice whilst patting his cheek to wake the boy up. When he didn't react Bucky turned his attention to the boy's arm. He rolled up the sleeve, seeing tons of bloody cuts. Most of the cuts had already started to heal, except one, that was still bleeding. Bucky ran to the bathroom, got a clean towel and wet it a little bit before running back. He pressed the towel against the big wound, applying a lot of pressure to make the bleeding seize.

Bucky scooped the little boy up in his arms and walked to the medical bay so that he could better take care of the wounds. He layed Peter down on a bed, thankfully the bleeding had stopped during that time. As the soldier started to sterilize the wounds, he heard a little groan, coming from the boy. He was awake. Bucky didn't say anything, as he knew that the second Peter realized what had happened, he wouldn't let Bucky continue taking care of him. Quickly he bandaged the cuts and finished. "Peter," he said softly, shaking his shoulder. Peter shot up, sitting in the bed and looking around in the medbay. Then he remembered. The boy started to cry, his whole body shaking whilst whispering apologies. "I'm so sorry Mr white wolf sir" Peter repeated. "Calm down," Bucky comforted the boy. "I think that maybe you should go to your room, and rest a little bit" He suggested. Peter nodded and Bucky helped him to his room.
The boy curled up in his bed, closing his eyes tightly. The soldier turned off the lights and headed for the corridor. "Mr white wolf sir?" Peter said weakly, whispering the words. "Yes?" "Um, could you please not tell anyone about this? Please?" Bucky hesitated a few seconds before answering. "Sure," He said and closed the door.