ISTTIMI

CHAPTER 42: I DO LOVE U

I didn't know how long it took me to internalize those words he just said. I love you. Three words I never thought he'd say to me after getting in a relationship with some other girl.

No.

He's in a relationship.

As soon as realization hit me, I pushed him away. "What did you just say?"

"I- uh-" Taehyung stuttered, his eyes wide and alarmed. "You're my best friend. Can't I say that to you?"

"You have a girlfriend." I said. "You don't just carelessly say those words to anyone."

"I said it carefully." He tilted his head. "I do love you as my best friend."

The way he said it doesn't sound like he was the way best friends say those three words to each other. I sensed longing. I sensed myself. I felt like I should have said those words too.

"If I'm your best friend, then why are you lying to me right now, Taehyung?" I took a step forward. "It's the first time you said those words to me. It's not something we say to each other casually." He gulped. "What is going on?!"

"I... I'm sorry." He said, looking down. "I shouldn't have said that."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "And now you're taking it back?"

"It was a mistake." He said. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry again? How many times would I hear that tonight?" This is not what I want to happen. Why is the universe so against us? "Taehyung, just tell me what's really going on."

"I can't." Taehyung replied, tears brimming in his eyes. "Jisoo, please... Let's stop fighting already."

I closed my eyes, feeling angrier, then shot glares at him for his stupid suggestion. "You want us to stop fighting? Then give me an honest answer."

"I can't break up with So Hyun." He said, his voice low but enough for me to hear. "I don't want to hurt her."

"So it's fine by you if I'm the one being hurt?" I immediately replied. "You're okay with our friendship falling apart but would do anything for So Hyun? Do you even love her?"

"No." He said, so softly that it sounded like he was embarrassed to say it. "I don't."

"Then do you love me?"

Taehyung was now looking at me with his tears falling down. He reached out a shaking hand but placed it down before he could even touch me. "I do. I do love you, Jisoo."

If we weren't in this kind of situation right now, I would have jumped excitedly. I would have cried in joy too. I got the answer I wanted. But the situation tells me that this wouldn't go my way. Still, I'll try to change it. First and one last try to swallow my pride and be selfish for once. "Then break up with her. Break up with So Hyun and be with me."

The moment Taehyung placed a palm on his forehead while looking like he's having second thoughts, I got his answer. "I can't..."

I was disappointed, but not surprised. He's back to being a coward again. "You know what?" I said, "I really thought you'd do well by yourself after you learned how to reject someone on your own. Do you need me to talk to her and do the breaking up for you?"

To my disapoointment, Taehyung shook his head. "I'm sorry. Jisoo, please.. just give me time. I'll sort this out on my own."

"No. Forget it." I spat. "You taking back what you just said and refusing to get break up with her already means a lot. Let's just stay friends, it that's what makes you sleep at night."