ISTTIMI

CHAPTER 55: THIS IS ME TRYING

Minhyuk went to our unit the day after the Variety Show - with no texts or calls from him before he knocked on our door. I was with Jin, and Yoongi in the living room while the others were either in the unit across ours or dating (I'm talking about Namjoon and Jackson. *sighs in jealousy*.)

Seokjin was the one who opened the door, and he instantly asked him if he was okay. As much as he's annoyed at him for ignoring me for a day, Minhyuk already became a part of our circle so Jin was really worried about him.

"I'm sorry I didn't text any of you." Minhyuk apologized. "I was just so angry at my manager for revealing who my father is without asking me if I'm okay with that."

"You can go inside Jisoo's room while I cook dinner for the group." Jin gave us his permission. "Just talk. I'll barge in anytime I want to, you understand?" Minhyuk and I nodded before going to my shared bedroom with Jennie.

He sat on my bed and laid down, eyes fixed on the ceiling. "I yelled at Manager Moon yesterday and I almost punched him too. After that performance, I was escorted to our company's van and sent back to Starship for a meeting regarding the news that's about to spread."

"Minhyuk..." I said, at a loss for words.

"I couldn't bring myself to talk to you or anyone." He said, "I felt bad after I yelled at my manager. It was the first time I got really mad at someone."

"It's okay. At least you didn't hurt him physically." I tried to think positively but that's just what I could come up with as a reply.

"I'm really sorry for ignoring you. I was just... thinking." He trailed. "A lot of stuff came into my mind after I read the comments and posts about me and my father." He gulped. "I went to the Memorial Park today with Kihyun.."

I laid down next to him, my hand supporting my head as I looked at him. "You miss him? Your father?"

He nodded. "The news reminded me of him again." He turned to his side to face me. "Now I'm being compared to him. The company and even his fans are already making me feel pressured by their expectations of me."

"You should avoid social media first." I suggested. "Try focusing on uni instead of work in the meantime. Do you have other promotions scheduled?"

"Just one more. Tomorrow." He answered. "I don't know how I'll show up in front of people again. How will I live up to their expectations?" He sighed. "I'm not even that popular at the moment yet they've already set their standards way too high for me."

"Minhyuk, these people aren't your dad. Just think of what your dad wants you to do right now, if he was here. Given your stories about him, I'm sure Rain won't pressure you like these people do. He'll support your every little step into becoming a well-known and respected artist. Don't let other people's opinions and expectations distract you from your main goal.

You mentioned that you want your dad to be proud of you as you become a musician. Well, you are a famous singer now, Rain would be proud of you already. I'm proud of you too. All your friends are proud of you. Please, don't mind those people who are pressuring you. You have your own fandom now, right? Try gathering strength from them. Your real supporters won't pressure you, they'll be with you every step of the way."

"I'm sorry." He said again, "It's our first conversation for today and I'm just ranting."

"I'm all ears, Minhyuk. I'll listen to any words you'll say."

"Do you think I can be like dad?"

I stared at him, thinking of what I should reply. When I thought of one, I smiled at him. "No."