AMBIVALENCE . tsukishima kei [✓]

𝐂𝐇20 : 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆

[ third person ]

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"We're over."

It was the one moment she had prayed would never come. Part of her knew it would happen soon but she didn't think it would happen so soon, especially not right now. Her entire chest ached as tears filled her eyes, shaky hands reaching out to him. "What?"

"You heard me. We're done. You can go fuck around with Kageyama all you like now." Tsukishima snapped, throwing the promise ring he wore at the floor, not caring to look in the direction of the metal. "I'm not gonna stick around and date a fucking liar."

Growing angry at the accusation, [y/n] grit her teeth and shouted, "I never fucking lied about anything! You're the one who lied to me!"

"You were just being dramatic! She was my partners for a project yet you couldn't stop getting jealous of her for no reason! Are you that insecure or something?" He scoffed, picking up his keys that were resting on the kitchen counter.

It struck a nerve to be attacked for an insecurity she had been desperately trying to hide for a while. It's not like it would disappear so easily because they had been dating for years. The fear of being not pretty enough or good enough for Tsukishima nipped at her brain, making her grow more and more anxious about some things. But this time, it wasn't her fault that she had gotten jealous.

"She clearly fucking liked you! Do you think I'm fucking stupid or something?? I know what girls look like when they are trying to flaunt their tits in your face!" She shook her head in disbelief. "Yet you still went out with them for drinks and almost cheated on me!"

"She came onto me while I was drunk." He pinched he bridge of his nose. He scoffed, grabbing the handle of the door. "You, on the other hand, were sober and slept with Kageyama behind my back. So much for being faithful, huh?"

Before she could even say anything, he threw open the door and walked off, leaving her standing there in pure shock. The [h/c] haired girl dropped to her knees, cradling her chest that began to ache endlessly. "I never cheated on you, you fucking ass."

Her shaky hands rose to cover her face as sobs racked her body. She sunk further into the floor, struggling to breath from the pain and panic that filled her body. 'Don't leave me. Come back. Please, don't leave me alone, Kei.'

And yet, he never did.

She gasped, sitting upright as a pain struck her chest. Her [e/c] eyes searched the room, trying to figure out where she was. Her head was messy and she felt sick to her stomach, so nauseous that she was sure to throw up soon. The fear of actually throwing up made her breathing quicken, tears filling her eyes.

"Calm down, stop moving." His tone was quiet and soothing yet a bit hurried to make sure he said them quick enough. Grabbing his trash can in the corner of his room, he put it in front of her back and placed a hand on her back to gently rub her back as she hunched over, throwing up. "Don't panic. Relax, you're safe here."

He frowned to himself, unable to stop himself from being worried about her. No matter how pissed off he was with her all the time, he couldn't just forget everything they used to have. It was hard to ignore.

When she calmed down and laid back down in his bed to rest, he took the trash can out of the room and went downstairs to rid of it then grab some stuff for her. He was caught by Akiteru who was worried about [y/n] too.

"What happened? It sounded like she was crying."

Tsukishima nodded, tying the trash bag up and throwing it into another trash bag to prevent it having any lingering smell. "I think she had a bad dream and woke up feeling overwhelmed and started panicking. She threw up a bit but she'll be fine."

"Has this happened before when you guys were together?" Akiteru questioned, tilting his head to the side. Tsukishima nodded.

"Once or twice. It's rare."

Part of Akiteru was saddened while the other was proud. He didn't like the fact that [y/n] had been overwhelmed like this before but he was proud of his little brother for being able to handle it so well and be there for her, even if they weren't together anymore.

"Honey, the food is finished. Can you take it up to [f/n]-chan?" Hitomi, his mother asked softly. She held out a tray full of easy to eat foods that would surely make [y/n] feel a bit better. "And some water."

Tsukishima nodded, taking the tray and water from his mother and returning upstairs. Upon entering his room, he was greeted by the quiet sniffling of the girl who laid in bed, trying her best not to cry over the dream she hated having.

"Do you want to eat now or later?" His question was heard but it took a moment for her to answer properly. When she gave him a small nod, he placed the tray down and placed a hand under her body, helping her sit up properly. "Mom made soup since it's easiest to eat right now. Here."

He placed the tray down on her lap, handing her a spoon. I forgot to grab the crackers Nii-chan bought. Wordlessly, he stood up and exited the room to retrieve the crackers from downstairs.

[y/n]'s eyes slightly widened when she saw his retreating figure. She wanted to say something. Don't leave me. Come back. Please, don't leave me alone, Kei.

Yet again, her mouth didn't open and he disappeared, leaving her alone once again.

Tsukishima returned moments later, nearly jumping with surprise when he saw the girl crying once again. It was a blank cry, one that didn't involve any noises or movements. The cold tears streamed down her cheeks as she stared at the blanket emptily.

"Geez..." Walking over to her, he sat beside her on the bed and placed the crackers on her tray. He reached up slowly, wiping away her tears with the pads of his thumb. "Your tears are getting into your soup. Be careful."

He stood up, grabbing the hem of his shirt to wipe her nose. "Finish your food. I'll be right here." Tsukishima took a seat beside the bed, keeping an eye on the girl who lethargically began eating again.

[ t i m e s k i p ]

Takamitsu sighed, "You know, [l/n] is a surprisingly strong girl. She deals with so much yet I rarely see her upset."

Akemi nodded, running her fingers through Takamitsu's hair. "True. [y/n]-chan doesn't like to cry in front of others. She said it makes her feel vulnerable."

"Can you guys not?" Denji called out flatly, eyeing the couple who laid on one another in the living room where they all sat. Sighing, Denji nodded, "[y/n] only cries in front of Tsukishima."

"What? Really?" Takamitsu asked. "Why? Do they still like each other?"

Denji shrugged, "He's the one who hurt her most but he's also the one who helped her most. She used to be really sensitive when she and Tsukishima were dating. She didn't have to hide her problems because he didn't judge her. Now that they split, she feels like she has no one else to share her pain with."

Everyone stared at him.

"I only know this because I like to observe people." He held his hands up in defense. "Plus, Tsukishima and [y/n] are easy to read."

He sighed and looked over at the TV. "It's clear that they still love each other."

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[ a/n : i love reading comments of people misunderstanding certain aspects of the book so that when i give a clear answer later, it'll be a good moment yk?! 😏 ]