Thank you... (Ateez FF)

Cover up

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After the whole incident Y/N knew yeosang and Jaely were on to her because they were there when she had a whole breakdown. They had seen so much that it concerned them. She felt useless. She felt unloved. especially unwanted. Y/N would smile the whole day so nobody could see her  broken soul. she learned to hide her feelings maybe that's what started hurting her even more. The pain in her heart. No one ever came to her and cared for her. she would say 'I'm fine' and everyone wouldn't ask further. Y/N saw herself as a burden.                                                                                         She didn't know what was keeping her alive. Her friends? Or the thought that people started to care? at least a little bit? she literally didn't know if he would end the things, one one couldn't ignore her anymore. no one wouldn't have to deal with her being  a BURDEN anymore. 

tears ran over his cheeks again and she hid her face in her pillow, trying not to Make a sound. its too much. why does it hurt like this?                                                                                                                        her breathing became faster, every second she tried to suck in more oxygen. she sat up, her view became blurry for a few seconds. Y/N just wanted to scream. she wanted other people to be happy and safe. and her? she never looked after herself. she would always give people her food if she had to, he would always make other people happy even though he's hurt. Y/N would not talk about her feelings, scared that it would annoy someone. 

She put her head in her hands, sniffling lightly. her stomach grumbled, she didn't eat something after she came home from school. suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. Y/N hurried to put the covers over her, turned his back to the door and acted like she was asleep. even though she gave no answer, the door opened anyways. 

"Y/N! get up and make me food now! mom and dad aren't here" said y/n sister 

" okay...." I said while she slams the door 

she felt the non existent tears rundown his cheeks. as if they were there. A cold shiver went through his body. Suddenly she blinked.But when she opened them everything was darker. black and gray but not white. She was confused. But too tired to be scared. so the only thing she could do was face this fate. 

TIME SKIP: 

She was now sitting on the cold hard floor. She was in her room. Her arm felt numb. she got up and looked at the mirror 'look at all the things that are wrong with you.' the reflection had her hands by her sides as if it was some else in the mirror but she couldn't care less. suddenly everything was fished away. All the colors was gone and it was her in a grey colored room. she blinked as he went closer to the mirror. 

"who are you" 

"you" it answered

" what's going on ?! why are-" 

calm down useless pig?! or should I say burden" it mocked at her

she knew she lost it when it ran away from her. she looked back and her reflection was gone. was it normal? 

"I know what we should do"it whispered in a voice nothing like her own. 

"what"  I said

"you see I have scars all on my arms  and I'm doing more so you might as do more cuts to release the pain" Y/N  nodded   

" your right" Y/N said   

Y/N thanked them and they disappeared. thought her reflection still spoke in his head ' first conversation you've in a while?'       Y/N nodded looking at his reflection which was back to normal. "ha...I can tell" which struck a insecure in her. she quickly started cutting.

author's note: 

the year is about to end in a few days but I just wanted to say I'm deeply sorry this chapter looked months to be posted especially being gone for months along with not having any inspiration for this chapter.but I'm here now and with a new chapter and I'm hoping to start posting more along with dealing with too much work at school.  🥀