you & me forevermore

one

this book is primarily written in penny's pov, just wanted to give a quick overview in the beginning.

chapter one:

the movement of blades; a terrible sound.

the noises are made from her corner of privacy, in the small space, she calls her "room", that she is forced to share with her two younger siblings, aged just 4 and 10. her parents work hard, her father working 3 jobs and her mother working around the house.

penny and her family have lived in their tiny house on the outskirts of a small town in new york, ever since penny was born.

penny is protective; a people pleaser.

she would do anything for her family, always putting them before herself.

taking a deep breath, penny moves the scissors and puts them up to the dim light created by her phone, in an attempt to not waking up her baby sister harper.

after hearing all the commotion of blades, her sister harper gets off her bed, fearing that the same incident that occurred only months ago would repeat itself.

3 months prior, the young girl had found her older sister on her bed with large gashes on her arms, bleeding out. her sister got there on time and saved her.

amelia promised her sister she wouldn't say a word, only if she came to her when feeling like this again.

most people say to tell, but little penny hated attention, all of the sorts. If she went to therapy or a mental hospital, amelia knew she would go crazy.

amelia checked penny's arms twice a day and gave her a journal to vent in, she enjoyed taking care of her sister and dreamed of being a phycologist.

amelia was mature, so was penny, but penny was a "gifted burn out" and couldn't handle stress and had way too much of it.

"penny?" amelia quietly whispered, tears pricking her eyes after recalling the event.

penny looked up, scissors in hand, and gave her a sympathetic look.

penny fears she is ruining amelia's childhood but is glad she has someone.

"it's okay amelia, i'm just changing some stuff about me, not hurting myself. i promised, remember?"

amelia gulps then gave a quick nod and scrambled back to her bed.

penny wasn't always so reserved and insecure.

penny loves music, painting, and reading. that's her way of coping.

penny writes songs in her journal and loves to play them on the guitar, which her music teacher gave her last year after recognizing her ability.

she writes her feelings and turns them into songs, she draws her feelings and puts them onto the paper.

she used to show off her talent but fears she isn't good enough. now, after losing her friend, she has no confidence and will never get near a stage again.

for now.

...

penny's pov:

after hearing amelia and harper's breath go steady telling me they went to bed, I moved my waist-length hair into two low pigtails, a few inches below my shoulders.

i hated my town; i hated my life. i needed change; i craved change.

my school was the most basic, judgmental school to exist- almost seeming like it was straight out of mean girls.

you must be short, to blend in.

straight hair only, and it must be long in order for you to not be scoffed at.

you must wear the same clothes as everyone else.

brunettes were what was deemed as the norm.

i wanted to dye my hair for so long to be able to fit in, but my mother loved my blonde hair, refusing to let me mess with it. my family was all brunettes, I the only blonde.

i didn't like the stuff that I was forced to like.

i'm 5'11, huge compared to all the petite frames. i'm thin, extremely thin, almost concerning. i ate- i just have a fast metabolism. my hair coated in soft curls, had heat damage from my straightener I got on my 15th birthday- just months ago. i just hope my hair gets healthy like how i may become. momma loved my curls and was sad when I began frying them.

i gulp back the thoughts, then chop. chop.

i breathe again and go up to the bathroom, and reluctantly faced the mirror to see the damage i just did. it didn't look bad- not at all. it truly suited me better.

i've always been a caring person towards people and animals- and wanted to donate the 15 inches I believe i cut off. i didn't need it, other people did.

i slid the hair into a plastic bag, then grabbed the scissors and a comb, and cut short fringe bangs, in hopes to frame my face. after making sure they aren't thick and was pleased, i crawled back into bed, without forgetting to kiss my sibling's cheeks to show my little affection i was able to show.

i hated touch- but i craved it. i had love, sure. not in any way romantic love. people from my school had always said I had too much baggage, so I've just come to terms that no one will stick around.

my parents have been busy my whole life, i've accepted that. i was abused when I was younger by my half-siblings when they would babysit me. they thankfully moved out, but now i flinch and get scared by contact. i never told anyone, well anyone but one person.

emma clarke- my best friend who is slowly slipping away.

emma blends in. she's about 4'11 with long brunette hair and piercing gray eyes. she has guys all over her.

sure, she still talked to me, she acknowledged me, but after her now-boyfriend asked her out. she's changed. his name is jacob right, a senior and the school's quarterback, their families are close because of them both being the king and queen of this town. since we're only beginning sophomore year, i tried to tell her to be careful, but i think she saw me as a threat and lashed out.

we smile in the hallways, i still trust her, i don't think she will tell anyone my secrets, but i'm insecure. i worry.

after she left, i had no true friends. i became fully alone.

as i drift off to sleep- i began to worry that the new school year approaching tomorrow won't be as i hoped, and concluded that watching someone slip away from your life without being able to control it, is truly the worst type of pain.

...

authors note:

hello :)

this is a rough chapter and I swear it gets better but I hope you enjoy it.

please vote and comment!!

also please give criticism (kindly)

love,

theo