His True Babygirl // Derek Morgan //

Fine

{Derek's POV}

"You really expect me to believe that a little boy, killed his brother?" Victoria said, her eyebrows knitting together in frustration. "He's a sociopath." She looked at Hotch with a death glare. "If you ever call my nephew a sociopath again, I'll rip your-"

"Victoria, Victoria stop." I pushed her back down to her previous seated position. "Do you remember the pet that your sister's family used to have?" I asked her. "Yeah, Danny said it... oh God. He- He killed it didn't he?" I slowly nodded my head.

"He was only 6.." She murmured. The perfect features on her face creased in both fear and confusion. "B-But how? He's just... he's only 10." She shook her head, not wanting to believe. "It's how his brain is wired, baby." I tried to soothe her, running my hands up and down her thighs. "I- I need to go. I can't be here anymore." She rushed out, standing abruptly. "No, Victoria. I don't want you driving right now. You're not in the right state of mind."

She glared at me. "Don't try to tell me what I can and can't do, Derek." I sighed. "That's not what I meant Victoria. I mean, that if you sit down and wait, I will drive you." She rolled her eyes, sitting back down. "Thank you, baby-" "Don't you dare 'babygirl' me right now." She grumbled.

It was my turn to roll my eyes, and press a gentle kiss to her cheek. "Let me grab my stuff." She nodded, playing with the sleeves of her hoodie. "Do you wanna see your sister-"

She shook her head at Rossi's question. I stood from my squatted position in front of her. "Just tell me when you're ready to go, Victoria." I said, grabbing my jacket. I glanced at Victoria, and she was eyeing my jacket. I smirked at her, handing her the leather coat.

"Won't you be cold? I have my hoodie, I'll be fine." She shook her head. She's so cute, worrying about me being cold. "I'll be fine baby, take it." I urged her lightly. She smiled back at me shyly, taking the jacket and slipping her arms through the sleeves. She looked exhausted, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

She stood up, my sleeves just came past her fingertips, yet she curled her fingers around the cuffs of the sleeves. She sniffed lightly, she ran her hands over her back pockets, checking for her things. "Do you wanna stay the night at my place?" I asked as we walked out of the building.

"Yeah, if you don't mind." She murmured, leaning her head against my arm.

___

{Victoria's POV}

We had been driving silently for almost 20 minutes. Derek has his hand rested on my thigh, while I picked at my nails, trying to shove down the emotions that were eating me up alive.

"You try and get some sleep." Derek said quietly, almost as him the world would break if he spoke too loudly. " 'm not tired." I mumbled, looking out the window. I heard him let out a sigh, "Do you wanna talk about it?" Maybe if I lie to myself enough, what happened.. never happened.

"Talk about what?" I said, adding a twist of cheer to my voice. Fake it till you make it, right? "Don't do that Victoria. It won't work and it will blow up in your face." Derek scolded lightly. "Do what?" I played dumb. "I'm not letting you do this to yourself. I refuse to watch you drown your emotions with fake ones. It happened, that won't change. Nothing you do can change that. But there comes a point when you need to let yourself grieve." He argued.

"There's nothing to grieve." Fake it till you make. "I will say it if I have to Victoria." I shrugged, looking out the window once more. "Kyle is gone. Danny killed-" "Stop." "Danny killed him." "Shut up." I took his hand off my thigh.

"You need to let yourself grieve." He said again, his voice raising a bit. "If I let myself grieve I die with him! I don't need to die inside again, I already just started living again! I had to lift myself up, after feeling dead inside, after BEING dead inside! I don't wanna go through that again! I don't wanna do this all over again!" I screamed.

"Victoria, listen to me. Back then, I wasn't there. But I'm here now. I'm not gonna let you die inside, but I won't let you fake whatever until you blow up. There's an in between, and I will help you. Let me help you." I looked at him with tears eyes, "I don't know if I'll make it, Derek. I don't know if I can." My voice broke as the lump started to form in my throat.

He didn't say anything, he pulled over into a parking lot. "Look at me, babygirl," he brought his hand to my cheek, wiping away a tear. "You're not alone. This won't be easy, but I'm right here. I will keep that spark in you alive, if you let me. But you need to let yourself grieve. If you wanna cry, let it out. If you wanna scream, then scream. Don't push it don't and act like it's not there."

I undid my seatbelt, sliding over the console and into Derek's lap. "I don't know what I'm feeling." I admitted. He brought his hands to my waist, letting his thumbs draw little circles over my sweatshirt. "Explain what it feels like." He murmured, kissing my forehead. "It feels like my heart isn't beating, but at the same time it's beating a million miles per hour. Like someone ripped it out of my body, and is squeezing it. My head hurts cause it won't stop racing," I placed my hand in the center of my chest, "and right here, feels empty but filled to the brim with something, I don't know." I looked back to him, searching for some assurance that I'm okay.

"That's your mind, your body.. telling you to let go. To let yourself be sad, let yourself cry. You can't hold in like that, baby." I looked at him confused. "But I have for years." It looks like I just punched him in the heart, his eyebrows furrowing. "That's not healthy. You can't do that to yourself." He rushed out immediately.

I shrugged, "It's what I grew up doing. I kinda realized I started doing that when I was 15, maybe 16." He shook his head. "Baby, you can't do that. Please don't do that anymore." He practically begged.

"It messes with how you think, and it's emotionally draining." He said, brushing my hair back. "I-I didn't know." I murmured. "Can you promise to tell me when you aren't feeling happy, or when you are feeling happy express it. Please promise to express whatever emotion you feel when you're with me."

"I just, I don't know. It's like second nature to just act like it's not there. It's kinda like fake it till you make it, right? If-" "It's not like that at all, Victoria. You can't do that with emotions and feelings. Please promise me you won't do that?"

"I promise not to do it knowingly but I don't know how to not do it subconsciously." He kisses my cheek lightly, running his hands from my waist to my hips and back up again. "You need to be honest with yourself about how you feel, before you can be honest with me about what's going on with your mind and your feelings." I leaned my head down against his shoulder. "But half the time I don't know what I'm feeling. I grew up knowing that if I acted anything but perfect and happy it wouldn't end well. So I just did what I had to."

"If you promise to come to me with your feelings, I will help you figure them out. But I can't help if you won't come looking for it." His hands slid to my lower back, rubbing them up and down in a soothing and comforting manner. "What do I do if I feel numb? Like I'm completely empty and someone just hit the off switch with my emotion?"

"You let yourself feel." He murmured. "How can I feel what's not there?" "You said it yourself you feel numb. You feel empty. So let yourself feel that. And do what you think you need to, to help you ride through it."

"I promise." I sighed, and I felt Derek's hands slide under his jacket that I had on over my hoodie. I was rather cold. "We'll make it through this okay, pretty girl? I'm right here." I nodded, resting my forehead against his. "You're right here." I whispered to myself, bringing my hands up to caress his jaw. I opened my eyes, looking down at his lips. I leaned in a bit, waiting for him to kiss me.

And when I felt his lips press against my bottom one, I melted into the sensation. I held his jaw, while his hands held my hips. I pulled away, lingering a bit.

"Thank you, bubba."

"Anything for my babygirl."