The Drunken Fling

Crappy Medieval Restaurant

"Hey boss, you uh... got a package.."

"Thanks Mills."  Blitzo went to go see what it was, his mouth hung open when he came across an enormous box.   "Holy shit!"
There were noises coming from the box too.
"What the fuck was that?!"

"Did that box just neigh?"  Moxxie asked.

Blitzo quickly opened it up to find a marron horse with black horns on it's head.

He let out a high pitched gasp.
"Holy crap!  I- it's a horse!  Where the fuck did this horse come from?!"

Moxxie took a few steps closer.
"Does the package have a return address?"

Blitzo looked around the crate.
"Nope.  Anyways, what am I gonna name her?"

"Sir, you don't have the money or the room for a horse."

"No one asked for your opinion Moxxie."

"It's not an opinion, it's a literal fact!"

"That doesn't matter.  So back to naming her, I have a pre-made list."  Blitzo reaches into his pocket and takes out a slightly crumpled up piece of paper.
"Should I go with Stapler, Coupon 2.0, Paper Towel, Garage Door, Shoe, Flea, or Ghost?"

"Wha-?  None of those!  You can't own a horse!"  

"Watch me bitch!"  Blitzo jumped onto the  horse to be named later and galloped out of the building.

"We're fucked."  Moxxie groaned.

* * *

A few hours later Blitzo and his horse, now named Coupon 2.0, got back to I.M.P.

"Finally! Where have you been?!"

"Relax Mox, me and Coupon 2.0 just did a little bit of shopping. Look! I got new riding boots!"

Moxxie slapped his forehead. "All due respect sir, no body cares! You can't keep the horse!"

"Her name is Coupon 2.0!" Blitzo corrected.

"What ever it's name is! You have no where to put it!"

"She can sleep in my office! It's not that big of a deal!"

"Alright, fine! Keep the damn horse! Let's see how long this lasts!"

"We don't need this negativity! Come on Coupon, Let's go get an iced coffee." Blitzo shot Moxxie one last glare and left.

Millie put a hand on her husband's shoulder.
"Just let him have his fun Moxxie, he's not hurtin' anyone."

"I guess you're right... I just wish he'd be more responsible!"

* * *

"Where to next Coupon?"
Coupon 2.0 didn't say anything but Blitzo answered her anyway.
"Good idea! You know, I'm kind of over your name. Your new name is... Maxipad!"

Maxipad neighed in delight as if she was agreeing to her new name. 
"Aww I love you so much! Hey, wanna go meet my friend Angel?"
Blitzo paused as if he could actually get an answer from her.
"Of course you do! Let's go!"

Maxipad and Blitzo ran to the Hazbin Hotel, knocking into pedestrians on the side of the road every time they turned a corner.

Rushing into the building they stopped short in front of Charlie, the princess of Hell.
"Uh, Welcome to the Happy Hotel! Can I get you and, um, your horse a room?" 

"Sorry Princess, I'm actually looking for someone."  Blitzo replied.

"Back so soon?"  Angel's voice said from another room. 
He walked in, shocked because the large animal in the middle of the lobby.
"What's with the horse?"