The Drunken Fling

The Plan

Out of boredom Blitzo snuck into Millie and Moxxie's house while they were sleeping.. again. 
He was eating left over pizza and wearing Moxxie's robe while watching T.V. in their living room.
Moxxie sleepily walked out of the hallway, rubbing his eyes.

"Mornin'  Mox."  Blitzo greeted.

"Morning boss."  Moxxie yawned.  "Wait-  WHAT'RE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!"

"Chilling, eating pizza."  He said, taking another bite.

"I- GET OUT!"  Moxxie shouted, pointing to the door.

"Moxxie, why are you yelling so much?"  Millie asked as she walked out of their bedroom.

"BECAUSE OUR PSYCHOPATH OF A BOSS KEEPS BARGING IN WITHOUT OUR KNOWLEDGE!!" 

"Come on Mox, it's not that bad.  He's not hurtin' anyone." 

Just then Nail Polish, Blitzo's beloved horse, walked out of the kitchen chewing on a milk carton.
"What Is Wrong With You People?!"  Moxxie yelled.  "How— How Do You Not See Anything Wrong With This?!"

"Have an open mind Moxxie! He means well."  Millie assured.

"He's insane!  He needs to learn how to stay in His Own House!"  Mox cried out.

"Hey, hey, I think we should all just relax."
Blitzo started.  "And maybe three way.." He whispered. "I'm just saying, I'm already here so-"
Moxxie gave him a repulsed look.
"Okay, or not. I can take a hint."

"What is wrong with you?! I am going to tell you one more time to Get The FUCK Out!!"

"Alright fine, I'm going.  Don't get your tiny wiener in a twist." Blitzo smiled, looking pretty pleased with himself, as he and Nail Polish strolled out of the house.

Moxxie turned to Millie. "I'm gonna kill him. I am going to kill him."

"Haha wasn't that fun Nail Polish?"  Blitzo laughed, petting her mane.
She neighed.

"Alright, alright. You're gonna hate me for this but I'm bored of your name again; let's call you Latex Glove!"
The horse, now known as Latex Glove let out an annoyed snort.
"You'll get used to it.    
Oh fuck, Stolas is calling again.  Blocked!  
Why the hell didn't I do that sooner?"

About a half hour went by of Blitzo and Latex Glove roaming around the city when the phone starts to ring again.
It was an unknown number this time.

Blitzo answered. "Who the fuck are you and why are you calling me?!"

"It's me Blitzy~ I'm lonely.. and bored.." The voice coming from the phone started.

"Stolas, I swear!-"

"Oh Blitzy, you're so cute when you're angry."

"What is so important that you had to change your number to bother me for?"

"Like I said, I'm bored and lonely.."

"Sucks for you."

"Why don't you come over tonight?  We could have some fun~"

"I'd rather repeatedly stab myself in the chest but thanks."

"I love how stubborn you can be~ it's alluring~" Stolas purred.

Blitzo rubbed his forehead.
"Listen here bird bitch, I'm not your little sex toy;  you can't just use me anytime you feel like it!  I don't exist for your fucking entertainment Stolas!  Stop treating me like an object and go piss off some body else!"  Blitzo yelled, attracting a lot of attention. He hung up the phone angrily.
He looked to his horse.  "And that is why you're the best, Latex Glove. You're unproblematic."

Blitzo gasped. "I have an idea!"

* * *

Octavia's phone went off as she was listening to music in her room.  Though she didn't recognize the number she still answered.
"What?"

"I have a huge favor to ask you!"

"Blitzo?"

Blitzo sighed.  "The "O" is silent."

"Okay, whatever.  What do you want?"

"I need you to help me get your dad off my back!" 

"Why should I help you?"

"You hate mine and Stolas' relationship almost as much as I do!  Come on, I really need you Octavia!  Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!"  Blitzo pleaded.

"Oh my god, fine!  Just stop begging!"

Blitzo sighed in relief.  "Thank you so much! I owe you one."

"Yeah. You do."  Octavia replied.

"Do you think you can meet me in my office today?"

"Yeah, sure. I guess."

"Good!"  Blitzo beamed and hung up.

* * *

Blitzo spoke to Angel Dust, Octavia, and Latex Glove.
"Okay, I've gathered you all here today to discuss an issue that needs to be taken care of.. Obviously I need help because everything I've tried to get Stolas off my ass hasn't worked; ghosting him doesn't work, yelling at him doesn't work, and even "dating" someone else doesn't work.  I'm not gonna lie, he's a persistent little bitch."
Blitzo paced across the floor, pressing is finger tips together.

"Well what do you want us to do about it?"  Via asked, crossing her arms.

"I want you, mini-Stolas, to bitch about how much you hate me to your dad; Don't hold anything back.  Make up shit if you have to!  Just make Stolas thinks that I'm not worth continually stalking every second of the day."

"That'll never work.  He's obsessed with you, he won't care about my opinion."  Octavia pointed out.

"Ughh do you always have to be such a constant downer?!"  Blitzo groaned.

"Fine, whatever.  I guess it's worth a shot."

"Thank you!  You're the best!"

"Yeah, yeah.  But I am not doing this for you."
Octavia walked out, slamming the office door behind her.

"Moody bitch."  Angel spat. "Anyways, what do you need me to do Blitzy?"

Blitzo decided not to fight Angel about calling him Blitzy because he knew in the end he wouldn't win that argument.
"Just keep doing what you're doing, Stolas just needs to see I've moved on from his perverted bullshit."
Angel chuckled.
"What?"

"Oh nothing, it just seems like you're trying to make him jealous." He laughed.

"Woah woah woah! That is not what we're doing here!"

"You sure Blitzy?"

"Yes you fucking asshole!"

"Alright, whatever you say babe."