Letting Go [complete - expanding chapters during rewrite]

Chapter Twenty Nine

"Connor can I talk to you?" I ask.
"Yeah, lets go on a walk.  Mason can you wait in the pack house for me?"
"Sure.  I'll go help Dad."  He walked out of the clinic.
Connor lead me to the front entry way, and out the door. We started walking in the direction of his cabin.  There was silence until we got a little ways from the pack house.
"What did you want to talk about?" He asks.
"You're the pack therapist, right?  I think I need to go through a few things."
"I can do that.  It's lunch time.  Let me make us something, and we can talk over a meal."
"Thanks."
We make it to his cabin, and he lets me in.  His front door leads straight to the living room with the kitchen taking up the back of the room and an island separating them.  Off to the right I can see an open door that looks like it's his office.  It has an outside entrance as well.
"Normally I would do this in the office, but let's keep this casual.  Is that okay?" He says.
"Perfect." 
He walks to the island and pulls out a chair for me.  Then asks me what I want.
"I'm not a great cook, but I can do grilled cheese sandwiches or pasta."
"Either one works for me.  I like both."
"Cheese sandwich it is."  He starts collecting ingredients, and looks at me to let me know to start talking.
"So, a lot has happened since I got here."
"Let's start with me rejecting you.  You know why I did that right?  To protect you.  After Jessa got 'attacked by rouges' I thought they'd come after you too.  After all why come after her specifically if not to prevent the alpha line from continuing.  Mason and I are too big to go after, but our mates aren't as well known."
"That's not what you said before."
"Well this was the thinking behind that."
"I'm not sure how I feel about that.  I usually need a little time to let things sink in."  I said.
"I can understand that.  So you came here because you had to?"
"Yeah because of a treaty.  I was never given a choice.  I could have fought more, but I always wanted a family."
"And you already knew I wasn't going to give you one."
"Yes." I shift in my seat, realizing the awkwardness of this line of conversation.  "I was abandoned by my parents."
"How did that make you feel?"
"I was sad, but I understood.  We had a family business that I abandoned.  Apparently I was key to it's success, because they had to sell out after I left.  I get how that would have made them upset."
"You're talking about your parents feelings.  Tell me more about your's."
"I felt like I didn't matter to them, like maybe they'd never known me.  Like my whole life was a lie."  I said with my head down.
"That's okay.  You're allowed to feel that way.  Do you still feel upset about it."
"I do now, because I have no where else to go.  The Alpha even said he'd make me a rouge if I'm gone over a week."
"He only said that because he doesn't want to lose his grandchildren.  My sisters have kids, and he adores them, but they're all in other packs.  He doesn't see them very often.  I don't think he'd actually make you a rouge, but that's his only legal threat."
"I didn't even think he believed they were Mason's."
"Mason's been impulsive and irrational since the attack.  Our dad's not like that."
"Connor tell me what to do!"
"I can't do that.  You have to decide for yourself.  Tell me what options you're thinking about." He said.
"Okay, A, I track down my parents.  I want to do that anyway.  In option A I help them get back on their feet, and then stay with them.  B, I go back to my old pack if they'll let me.  C, I find someway to stay here, away from Mason.  One of my children will lead the pack someday.  D, I leave...and go somewhere else.  Start over."
"It's interesting that you say them in that order.  First, something you want to do either way.  Second reconnect with the people who've always supported you, something that you need. I know you're not getting enough of that here.  Third, what would be best for your children, and finally something I dare say you don't want. I'm guessing that because you hesitated.  You know you can do the first three all together.  Am I right about you not wanting to leave?"
"Yeah, I mean I already feel abandoned and alone.  Leaving would just make me more alone, at least until the babies are older, and I won't be able to take care of all of them by myself."
"So it sounds like you have your answer, the first three.  Let me help you."