What Should I do? | Shawn Hunter

iii. Broken Family

KARDERN KNEW HIS family was broken. Every family was. His family was just a little bit more broken than other families, but every family had their cracks at some point. No matter how hard they tried to hide them. Nobodies family was perfect, every family fought at some point whether it was over something small like who was going to do the dishes or a bigger fight like who was going to take care of the kids when they separate thinking they could decide what was best for the kids without them actually getting a say in the matter

Unfortunately, it seemed like Kardern's mother didn't care enough to actually stick around and fight for her son. Instead, she left in the middle of the night and didn't seem to care as she hadn't bothered to check in with him over the years. Late at night Kardern wonders whether his mother still thinks about him or whether he was just another mistake that she wanted to be wiped away before she could be happy with her life

That was the night that Kardern promised himself that he wasn't going to fail in life as his mother did before him so that's why he studied hard, tried to get good grades and kept his head down as best he could because he wanted to actually do something with his life

It was lunchtime and Kardern Osborn sat alone at his table. Only he didn't know he was alone, in his head he had created a world where he never had to be hurt or abandoned. A world where he was a knight in shining armour and the world around him was crafted around him. He was in control of everything he touched, everything he spoke and every action he did and best of all it was here, in his head, that nobody could hurt him, unlike the real world

In the real world, the young boy carried scars that he didn't think he would ever heal from. Wounds that never seemed to fully close rested on his skin and every time anger burst out of him like a hungry beast the wounds that he has, only got bigger, that's what scared him most about his anger that was bubbling below the surface

Of course, all this is inside of him, metaphorical wounds and he would usually hide how much words hurt him with a smile or simply just hide behind the spine of a book like it was a shield, keeping him away from the evils of the world 

Shame that they couldn't hide him from every evil

"Osborn, what are you doing all alone?" The voice of Shawn Hunter was like a hurricane, ripping him away from the world he had built up for himself and shattering it into tiny little shards that stabbed him in the heart reminding him he was back in reality and he glanced up at Shawn, glaring in his direction, not best pleased to be ripped away from his one true love: Books 

"Shouldn't you be bugging someone else, Hunter? Like Matthews?" 

"I would but see he's over there. Talking to Topanga about the stupid project and I wasn't about to go over to the weirdo table when I saw you sitting all alone and I thought: Hey guess who could I annoy next and there you were. All alone. Tell me why are you alone and why are you...What are you doing?"

"It's reading. You should try it sometime"

"Sounds boring, so Osborn what are you doing for the project?"

Despite how annoying he was being Kardern managed a small smile in the direction of Shawn cocking his head to the side, he began to speak "Oh no, no, no, no Mister Hunter. I'm not playing this game with you--"

"What game?" Shawn cut him off "If I was playing a game. You'd know it"

"So you don't want to know what I'm doing for the project?" Kardern scoffed, knowing that that would exactly be the case as most of their conversations start off like this and end up with Kardern helping Shawn out with his work -- or more accurately doing it for him -- and he was tired of it. Burnt out, he just wanted the world to stop for a bit, so he could catch up with it 

"Well if you insist..."

"I'm not giving you my project idea"

"But that's what we do! You help me with my work and I supply the sarcastic comments"

"Well go find someone else to supply with you're sarcastic comments" Kardern snarked, waving his hand dismissively at the boy in hopes he would go away if he ignored him long enough but when Shawn didn't move after a few moments. Kardern sighed, his weary eyes meeting Shawn's as he asked "Will you please go?"

"I know that look" Is all Shawn said in response

"What look?"

"The tired look, the look that you're lost and everyone around you has their life figured out and your not sure what you should do so you don't do anything" Shawn shrugged as if it was that simple as if he hadn't just dissected Kardern's mind and pulled out the deepest secret he had and acted like it wasn't a big deal, which to Kardern it most certainly was "If you need to talk to someone Osborn. I'm here. On one condition you're there for me too"

Not knowing what to say, only one word slipped out of Kardern's mouth "Go"

Finally, Shawn seemed to understand that Kardern wasn't in the mood to talk and stood up walking back over to Cory, allowing Kardern to return to his world. A world where he was a knight in shining armour and the world around him was crafted around him. He was in control of everything he touched, everything he spoke and every action he did and best of all it was here, in his head, that nobody could hurt him, unlike the real world.

One day though he hoped to find someone who wouldn't hurt him