you're the highlight of my life

190 20 20
                                    

This one is a bit of a depression trigger. There's no full on description of any self inflicting things, but just in case, THIS IS YOUR WARNING. This means this'll be sad lmao
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Bright green.

And the most attractive face I'd ever seen.

The highlighted text in your open book stuck out to me, and then, at your face, I had to look.

Maybe it was pure instinct, maybe it was fate.

I still don't know why I looked for your face, but I do know that I immediately wanted to take you on a date.

Michael set us up, I recall.

And although on our date I got everything all wrong, you still gave me your number, so I could call.

A few more dates, and a couple nights spent together, was all it took for me to realize:

I wanted you.

I wanted you to be mine, and I wanted to be yours, because for you, my darling, I would sail seas of blue.

Your smile was as bright as that highlighter, I swear.

When that grin appeared on your face as I asked to call you 'boyfriend', it was almost too much to bear.

But then, a year later, I found that smiles so bright had the most painful frowns.

Tears that cut like knives, sobs that haunted, and dead eyes that replaced ones that shone like crowns.

I tried so hard to be your distraction, to put all my love into you so just for a moment, a second, you'd be happy.

The farthest I got was a small, fond smile and you, Calum, calling me sappy.

But before you left, I did manage to make you grin.

It was a week before you went that I got my big win.

I told you that I loved you so much, but if you wanted to leave still, I'd understand.

You smiled brightly, and took my hand.

"It's not your fault if I leave, Lukey, it's not. I do love you a lot, but this sadness is wearing me down. I can't stand your frown, and you can't stand mine. I know I made you happy, but I don't anymore. But just know that when I leave, it wasn't you, and my heart will forever belong to you."

With that level of sincerity, I knew the words you spoke were true.

And when I held your hand for the very last time, as you lay dying in that hospital bed from your attempt at suicide,

You said the following before you lost all sense of strife:

"Lukey, baby, I love you. You were the highlight of my entire life."

And then tears began falling from my blue eyes, and screaming and sobbing began. Nurses ran.

I watched my baby, my world, die in front of me. It was a horror to see.

Just like that, the highlight in the novella that is my life was blotted out with dark ink.

I realized that you'd never give me another flirty wink.

You'd never whisper 'I love you' in the night, or hold me when I had great fright.

The disease that filled your mind had won, and all I could do was cry.

They say if you love something, let it go, so I had to let you fly.

I'll be there, flying with you soon. But for now I'm off to visit your grave one last time, and sing your favorite song for you, probably out of tune.

Until then, I love you, Calum.

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I s2g I had NO intention of this being so sad. I apologize, again.
But anyways, thanks for all the votes lately, lovelies! Xx

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