DANGEROUS WOMAN || THE HUNGER GAMES ²

8.

"THAT WAS ALL KATNISS.."

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Walking back to my room, I chew on my bottom lip as I let my thoughts wander back to the meeting. I felt conflicted with myself, I did want to help the Rebellion the best that I could. But it was the selfish part of me, that wanted to take back my words and tell them to fuck off. Call me a monster, but I wanted to take advantage of the little freedom's that I had. This was the first time in years, I didn't have to look over my shoulder and be careful when speaking.

I didn't have to worry about saying something that could cost someone their life. I was far far away from Snow and the Capitol, he no longer had a hand on me. I could no longer be sold and tossed around, person to person in the Capitol. Me and Finnick were finally together, and were going to be married. We could now be in public, no longer having to burn secret letters. I could tell him that I loved him without the fear of Snow knowing it. I could be happy. I was going to be happy.

"What are you thinking about, love?" A voice asks, as a pair of familiar warm arms wrap around my waist.

"Stuff." I said, looking down at my feet.

Thinking about what I had said in the meeting, I didn't know what I should set as some boundaries. I knew that I wanted to marry Finnick as soon as possible, but what else should I ask for? The chance to go back home? Information on my district's well being? See if they know anything about Carrie and Damian's parents? Maybe even information about my dad?

"Stuff? What's this stuff?" He ask's, pressing a kiss to my temple.

"About the meeting." I said, smiling softly as he pressed another kiss onto my cheek.

Trying to make a mental note of everything I wanted, I struggle to compromise with myself on what to pick. The Wedding was going to happen, whether they like it or not. But would it be too much of me to ask about my father? Or about Carrie and Damian's parents? Heck, did I even want an answer to my questions? It was bad enough that I was used by the Capitol, and made to be their toy.

I could cope with that, but would this be something that I can handle? Would I be able to sit there with a straight face, as they tell me about my dad? Tell me where he has been for the last couple years? Or tell me that there was a chance that the kid's parents were dead? Would I be okay enough to hear that kind of stuff?

"You can always change your mind. You don't have to help." He said, making me frown slightly.

"But I feel like I have to, they did get me out of the Capitol⎯I owe them one." I said, trying to reason.

"So? You have been doing this kind of stuff for people without getting anything in return. It's okay to want to be selfish, Athena." He said, making my frown deepen.

"But it feels so wrong of me⎯being selfish." I said, as he pressed yet another kiss onto my cheek.

"Well, I think it is time for you to indulge in wonder's that come with being selfish." He said, making me laugh.

---0---

Sitting on the bed, the nurse looks at the bruises on my arms and gently presses on them to see if I would flinch. After a few minutes of flinching and hissing in pain, she had stopped poking at me for the most part. Now, she was checking to see if I had any muscle damage or nerve damage. The woman was the same one from the last time I was here, Syrena Everdeen. Katniss's Mother. She was kind and understanding. She knew how to clean and dress wounds, without making me feel anymore pain than I already was feeling; but she was an overall good doctor.

"Do you have any more injuries? Any scarring? Anything that is causing you pain?" She questions, letting go of my arm.

"One. I don't know if you can do something to fix the coloring of it, tho." I said, picking at my nails.

"Where is it at, Miss.Grey?" She asks, making my stomach drop.

She had seen the small cuts on my shoulder, from my games. The bruises from the Capitol that littered my arms and legs. But she never looked at my stomach or inner thighs. I had some small cuts gifted to me by 'fans' in the Capitol, those didn't bother me as much as one of them though. It was on the inner part of my thigh, spread across to my knee. Carved in big jagged lines.

"Thigh. Can we⎯um⎯" I said, my voice drawing out at the end; earning an understanding look from her.

"I'll close the curtains." She said, walking over to the curtains.

Shutting the curtains, I slowly unzip my jumpsuit leaving me in a black tank top and shorts. Stepping out of the jumpsuit, I placed it onto the extra spot on the bed next to me. Taking a deep breath I tugged up my shorts a little, to reveal a bright white scar on my thigh. Though the skin was smooth to the touch, the jagged words were still there; like it was painted onto my skin. The Capitol had tried hard to get to remove the words, there was only so much that they could do. Tho the successfully made my skin smooth to the touch, the words would be readable and seen.

"Lizzy?" She asks, looking at the name carved in my thigh.

"Her name was Lizzy Gordon. She was sixteen⎯from District Eleven. Her partner carved it into my leg. My old District partner Ares killed her, and her friend wanted revenge. So he carved her name into my thigh. I don't remember if they showed the District's the clip, tho." I said, looking down at my hands; not wanting to see the scar.

I wasn't self conscious by no means, it was just that I didn't want to be reminded of my games. It was bad enough, that I lived through them once. I didn't want to have myself playing in on rewind for the next few hours. Nor did I want to remember her name. It was already carved into me, so I shouldn't and didn't want to subconsciously remember it for the next few days.

"Do you feel any pain? Do you know what kinds of treatments they had given you back in the Capitol?" She questions, as I suck on my bottom lip trying to remember the name of the treatment Snow requested that I have for the scar.

"I⎯I don't remember. It doesn't hurt tho, not anymore." I said, cursing myself for not remembering. 

+++++

And I am done with the chapter! Stay safe out there guys!

I hope you all are doing okay emotionally and physically in quarantine! I love you all!

I hope that you are enjoying the book so far! A quick reminder to comment below about the story of what you think so far!

GHOST NOTE!

So...we are seeing a change in Athena! From being open and letting people take advantage of her and her kindness...to her wanting to put up boundaries! How do you feel about that?