Little Souls

Little Souls (66)

Author's Note: F I C T I O N

—
My little one's request...
By: Maine Faulkerson
Filed under: Personal

Time check—It's already 2.56 am. I woke up feeling heavy for two reasons—Literally, because I have my Tinay here—she becomes heavier each day, and we can't wait to meet her soon. Second, from my son's question/request earlier today. Let me tell you what happened...

Our day started just right. Our little one was so excited because among the 3 of us, he most certainly looked forward to this event after the Fun Run that he and his father attended last week. RJ and I thought this is one event too that our children shouldn't missed.

So, we went with our ride going to the venue, feeling so positive and beaming with happiness seeing our little Thirdy jumping in excitement. My husband and I couldn't help but absorbed our Thirdy's enthusiasm. As a mother—my heart constantly expands everytime the happiness of my son will reflect in colors of the rainbows and the sparkle of the beautiful colors would land on his eyes. It's a joy to watch his eyes dance in merriment, and I'll do anything for him to be that happy. ALWAYS.

We arrived at the venue, just right on time when the program was about to start. I am observing my son this time—his eyes wanders at the room, looking on each people's faces as if knowing them one by one.

He most linger his gaze to the children of atleast 30–sitting on the floor, eagerly waiting for what's about to begin. My son immediately wanted to be released in his father's arms as he wanted to join the kids—of course we let him.

The program starts and RJ began his turned in reading to children a story. I keep looking at my son so engrossed listening to his Dada, while holding a little girl's hand on his left. It fascinates me how he looked at these kids besides him and even go beyond looking at his back whenever his Dada animatedly read the book aloud as if telling them—that's my Dada! My proud son to his father—I will never forget that look of admiration in his eyes directed to his father. He would laugh with them, smile and sometimes I can't help but laugh when his brows met at the middle. I can sense that he wanted to ask questions because it woudn't be my Thirdy if he won't be asking so many question during a 1-session story reading. I most loved that about him and I hope as he grows old he will still be the same curious person as he is right now.

After his Dada reads the story—it's my turned then, and again I keep checking my son in the crowd—enjoying his time—being one with the kids. I know for a fact that he will let me retell the story later where he would ask me a lot of questions, and I actually look forward to that. Reading him stories is one of my favorite bondings with him.

The reading session were done, and the kids were served snacks—each corner of that room were small tables and chairs. My son, after we fed him his snacks, asked if he could roamed around.

We let him roamed, he enjoyed checking on the kids, tapping their backs, smiling at them, asking them if they're still hungry or not. I smiled and I met my husbands eyes and we knew right then and there that he will be the best Kuya to his siblings. He'll be turning 3 in a few months but RJ and I can't still wrapped up our heads as to how our Thirdy becomes so thoughtful, kind, understanding, and so loving. We thank God for him, and we will always be grateful for his coming as he sure filled that empty void in our hearts when we lost our first child.

The next part was a few games, and we allowed him to play and play and play to his heart's content. He really enjoyed the rest of the event, until we decided to go home. At the parking lot while we were fastening him on his seat, my son asked the most poignant question. I wasn't prepared. We were not prepared. Aside from his question, it's a request—a request that only if it's possible—we will give that to him in a heartbeat—but, we hold no power...

Please, help me, if anyone of you knows how to answer my little boy's question...

(I will post the question clearly and not in his bulol self so you would understand)

"Mama, Dada, it's okay if you won't buy me a puppy, please use the money to buy the kids their Mama and Dada. They don't have Mama and Dada, and I want them to be happy this Christmas."

💔💔💔

As of this writing, I am again so overwhelmed with emotions, that I can't help but shed tears now. I am sorry, it just that—as a mother, it pains me to know that I am here giving everything I have to my son and my soon daughter, but a lot of kids out there will no longer have the chance to feel their mother's warmth of an embrace. The love that only a mother can fill.

Today has been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me and my husband, and I thank RJ for reading me like the back of his hands because he knew I could no longer do whatever things we've planned to do after the event. We went home straight and you may ask, what were our reply to Thirdy? I couldn't speak anymore—I felt the big lump in my throat and trying my damn best to not let my tears fell because I don't want to ruin my son's happiness that day. When I cry, my son becomes sad—he doesn't like me crying. So, RJ manages to reply to him: "We will see, love. We'll talk about that tomorrow, okay?" And as good boy as he is, he just nod and keep his quiet until we reached home—which remind me again to make myself ready later for an acceptable explanation in the mind of a 2 year and 9 months old child.

Time check, 3.43 am. I need to go to bed with swollen eyes and a little less heavy heart because I was able to write about it.

Please, help me pray for all the children in the world who are hungry—not for food but for a parent's love, especially the love that is coming from a mother.

God Bless us all!

Love,
NDMF

—
"MAINE?"

"LOVE? 🥺🥺🥺"

"LOVE, IS IT STILL THIRDY'S QUESTION?"

"😭😭😭"

"OH, MAINE..."

"I AM SORRY, I CAN'T HELP IT—MY HEART IS BREAKING, RJ...I AM SORRY...😭😭😭"

"PLEASE DON'T BE SORRY...OKAY? WE WILL DO WHATEVER WE CAN TO AT LEAST MAKE THOSE KIDS HAPPY THIS CHRISTMAS..."

"😭😭😭"

"I LOVE YOU, MAINE...SO MUCH! PLEASE STOP CRYING NA. YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE TEARS DOES TO ME TOO..."

"I AM TRYING..."

"I KNOW...TARA NA, TULOG NA TAYO...MAAGA PA...PAYAPAIN MO YANG SARILI MO, OKAY? GAGAWA TAYO NG PARAAN..."

"I LOVE YOU, RJ..."

"I LOVE YOU MORE..."

"THANK YOU FOR BEING MY ROCK..."

"YOU DO THE SAME TO ME..."

"THANK YOU FOR THIRDY AND TINAY..."

"THANK YOU TOO—FOR BEING THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN—IT WILL ALWAYS BE YOU. YOU, MAINE."

"LOVE YOU..."

"..."

"..."

—
Author's Note: 😭😭😭 ang sarap tumira sa ficworld! Nyeta!