Love Lessons (sykkuno x corpse)

ten

Tw // mention of self harm and suicide attempt

Corpse POV:

When Corpse opened his eyes, it was pitch black.

He lifted his head groggily and looked around. Where was he? His body felt sore, like he'd just run a long marathon. Corpse moved his hand to feel where he was, but a sharp pain struck him instead.

"Fuck," he hissed, holding onto his wrist. He moved his other hand to feel further and then suddenly brushed a wheel. What? He was in his car? When did he get there?

He reached to click on the lights and immediately saw the bloody bandage around his wrist. He glanced to his right and noticed the crushed up cans of beer on the seat next to him. The hours before flooded back to him. His breakdown after Sykkuno left him, him cutting himself and the blood...All the blood. He stopped himself though, forced himself to leave his apartment and go treat his wound. Then he bought alcohol, drove somewhere and just drank until he passed out.

He sighed and slumped back into his seat, rummaging through his coat pocket for his cigarettes. He stared at it silently, remembering Sykkuno's shocked expression when he found out he smoked. He'd lied, saying he only did it sometimes, when in reality he always needed one in his mouth to distract him from things.

Sykkuno.

He was probably with Jay by now and the thought of it made his heart clench. He'd thought maybe he finally found someone that would love him, but he was delusional. Why would anyone love someone like him? The boy that everyone called a demon. The boy that his mom hated.

He lit a cigarette slowly and rolled down his window to blow out the smoke into the night. Where the hell even was he? He noticed the cemetery stones littered on the field in front of him. His heart sank. It was the graveyard where his mom was buried. Even though she treated him like shit, he still always found his way back to her.

She was loving at first.

Had met his dad when she was on a trip to Mexico. Then she got pregnant, he came back to America with her and they had him. They were all so happy together. Corpse's memory was fuzzy, but he remembered his childhood to be warm and peaceful. Then suddenly one day; his dad just left them. No real reason why...He just left. It destroyed his mom, and his mom took her anger out on him.

When he was younger, he also developed pretty bad laryngitis which affected how his voice sounded. She would berate him for it everyday, saying he was the reason why his dad left because it scared him off. In all the years before she died, he didn't remember hearing her say she loved him once. At school it was even worse, people stayed far away from him because they thought his voice sounded weird. It was like that all the way until high school, when they suddenly decided to turn violent.

Corpse had never fit in before, but high school was even worse. There was this one group of guys, they wouldn't leave him alone. The way they treated him traumatized him until that day. They would steal his things, call him an ugly demon, throw stuff at him, beat him up after school. He faced that everyday and then he would have to go home and be neglected and abused by his own mother.

The only thing that comforted him was watching romance movies and reading romance books. He liked seeing the stories of people falling in love, liked watching them experience something that he couldn't. He searched up ways to flirt, how to win someone over...Almost like he was practicing for an imaginary person. He just wanted to experience it on his own. He just wanted to be loved so badly.

He remembered one day, just lying on the concrete after getting beat up. His nose was bleeding and he could barely breathe because they aimed for his ribs when they kicked. That was the first time he considered killing himself. He was just so tired and hopeless...But then-