More than a tragedy (BxB)

Sleep

Asher and Bellamy arrive at the same park that they met at, both boys look exhausted but they're used to the sleepless nights. Different reasons of course, but sleepless nonetheless. They take their spots on the bench and Bellamy begins speaking.

"So... This may be kind of awkward but like I guess hmmm I sorry I-"

Asher places his hand on Bellamy's arm reassuringly. The touch makes Bellamy blush, living alone has rendered him so touched starved and he never really realized it until right then.

"It's okay take your time"

Bellamy nods and continues:

"Well I guess I'll start with the answers to your questions, I mean there's a bigger backstory there- Wait I'm rambling okay so basically my mom and my dad didn't want kids right, they we're all about this like living rich vacation typa lifestyle. Well accidents happen and I'm one of them so when they had me they tried giving it up you know the fancy stuff and expensive clothing and clean house. Eventually they got tired of it and as soon as they could they hired a nanny and went back to normal. I was definitely a dent in their bank account but they could live with that, just not with me. The nanny was well... not very motivated for lack of a better explanation so when I was old enough to keep myself alive she quit and I told my parents that I didn't need anyone to look after me anymore. So I've been living alone in this shitty apartment for like ever because I don't want to burden them too much ya know? After all they never really wanted me so I figured I could do them a solid with that. But being alone all the time has made me seek out all these hobbies and so hell I've taken so many random sports but I always preferred learning. Oh! And music, I liked learning music that was fun. Eventually I sort of accumulated enough stuff to fill up my days so I'd spend less time with myself. It's insane the amount of stuff you can get done when there's absolutely nobody there to talk to and you hardly sleep. Uh oops. That kind of slipped out. I don't know I get nightmares it's no biggie. Other people have it so SO SO much worse ya know? Uh anyway I feel like I've been talking for way too long so uh I'm gonna stop now."

Bellamy firmly shuts his mouth as he looks up and his eyes meet Asher's. Asher is deep in thought contemplating what to say when Bellamy gets nervous at the silence and opens his mouth again:

"Hey you know it's really not a big deal. I've been doing this for years I'm totally used to-"

He immediately stops talking when Asher asks:

"Can I hug you?"

Bellamy stares at Asher dumbfounded. To be honest I think he forgot how to hug someone.

"Sure"

Asher leans in and pulls Bellamy into a comforting hug and that's when Bellamy finally does what he thought he never could do. He cries. Bellamy hasn't cried since he was a child. But in this moment, being hugged by someone he trusted, he just couldn't stop he felt warm and like he existed to someone. He never knew how much he needed to be hugged until after he was hugged. He hoped Asher would never let go and he didn't they just stayed like that until Bellamy had calmed down and realized that he way crying in front of someone he barely knew.

"Uhm I'm sorry- normally I don't do that. I understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore-"

Asher looks at Bellamy sporting a confused look.

"Woah, hey of course I still want to hang out with you. Bellamy, what you just told me that sucks ass. Like that's really fucking terrible."

Hearing those words confused Bellamy because Asher didn't look like he pitied him but more like he was trying to validate something. Bellamy responds trying to understand what Asher is getting at.

"What do you mean? They never hurt me?"

"Bellamy I can't tell you how to feel because honestly that just feels wrong but just because nobody physically hurt you does not mean that you are not hurt or that they didn't hurt you. Honestly I don't understand how anyone could leave someone as incredible as you but Bellamy you gotta understand that you're worth so much. You are and always were worth all of your parents love and attention and you deserve that attention. No matter what. "

Bellamy just looks at Asher on the verge of tears and unsure of what to say. He wants to believe Asher so bad, that he was worth all of this attention, that he deserved it. But he struggles. Thinking one way you're whole life is a very difficult thing to pack up and throw away and then do the complete opposite. He decides that he'll keep what Asher said in mind, not like he could forget it anyway, and maybe try for Asher. That is until he can try for himself. Asher looks over at Bellamy and speaks up.

"Sorry if I overstepped I just- It's just I want you to feel worthy I guess"

Asher looks around and his eyes light up as he sees an ice cream truck on the other end of the park.

"Hey wanna take a walk. I'm buying you ice cream. That is unless you're allergic. Then in that case, I am not buying you ice cream."

Bellamy smiles and answers:

"I am not allergic to ice cream"

Asher nods smiling and says 

"Great!"

Bellamy was kind of surprised Asher offered to pay when he technically has a lot of money from his parents but he goes with it. Ice cream isn't to expensive anyway. 

They order and eat their ice cream while moving to a new location in the park. The little mental break feels nice for both boys. They chat about small things such as homework and the fact that they saw Bear trying to convince one of the teachers to dye their hair purple so they could twin. 

"I should probably answer your question now" Asher says

"Which one?" Bellamy asks, having forgotten ever asking him a question.

"Why I was so tired. I know it's kind of a meaningless question but it comes with a fairly sized backstory so I figured, if you're up for it, that it's only fair if I share too."

"You know you don't have to right? "

"Yeah I know" Asher says sending a reassuring smile towards Bellamy.

"My parents ignore me. It's not really a big deal but well that hug Bellamy, I- I hadn't had one in forever and it meant a lot to me. I know it seems insignificant but since I was a kid, my parents we're too busy fighting with each other than to care for me and I guess after a while they weren't really able to 'connect' with me. So they went back to fighting. They don't talk to me or look at me or acknowledge my existence. They just fight. It started off small, whispers when they thought I couldn't hear but now... it's yelling all night long and throwing things everywhere, honestly my house is a mess and I just." 

Asher looks up at Bellamy with tears forming in his eyes. He sounds so sad and desperate when he says:

"Bellamy I'm just- I'm just so tired. I just want to sleep so bad. In a nice warm bed, in a quiet room-" 

At this point the tears are openly falling out of the exhausted boys eyes and Bellamy pulls Asher in for a hug. The boys now realizing how important hugging is silently vow to never leave each other's side. 

"Asher?" Bellamy says quietly

"Yeah?"

"Would you- Well it's just there's nobody- Would you like to stay at my place. I mean I only have one bed but I can take the couch if you're uncomfortable with sharing it's totally fine-"

Asher looks up, the tears stopping for a moment.

"Do you mean it?"

"Of course. I miss seeing other people, there's always school but it's not the same. And you, I have a bed, the neighbors can be kind of loud sometimes but they try not to overdo it. Normally I only really hear them once a month. Although fair warning my place smells like weed. Not me. Neighbors. But it's quiet. Asher you can sleep there."

Bellamy can feel Asher relax in relief knowing he'll be able to sleep tonight. The two continue to stay in their hug\cuddle position until they decide to head to Bellamy's.