Biancasbrokenbrother

Hey guys you know those things that are like “Rare Aesthetic” and then it names something- what if I did one :D 
          	
          	Rare Aesthetic: “ Having two friend groups except one you are around constantly and is large you and are nearly always left out/the ‘extra’ friend/the one no one groups with when you’re told to pick a partner in school because there’s an odd number of you; and the other group is a lot smaller but you can actually be yourself there and you’re never ignored or left out, but you can’t be around them very often. So like one is semi-toxic (?) and the other is healthy but you’re forced to spend more time around the semi-toxic ones and you can’t get mad at the semi-toxic ones because it feels like you are half the reason you aren’t included because you never include yourself and they don’t really do it intentionally either. So you just kinda.. ride it out. 
          	
          	Damn I’m a loser. Anyone else ? (╥ ω ╥)

Biancasbrokenbrother

Hey guys you know those things that are like “Rare Aesthetic” and then it names something- what if I did one :D 
          
          Rare Aesthetic: “ Having two friend groups except one you are around constantly and is large you and are nearly always left out/the ‘extra’ friend/the one no one groups with when you’re told to pick a partner in school because there’s an odd number of you; and the other group is a lot smaller but you can actually be yourself there and you’re never ignored or left out, but you can’t be around them very often. So like one is semi-toxic (?) and the other is healthy but you’re forced to spend more time around the semi-toxic ones and you can’t get mad at the semi-toxic ones because it feels like you are half the reason you aren’t included because you never include yourself and they don’t really do it intentionally either. So you just kinda.. ride it out. 
          
          Damn I’m a loser. Anyone else ? (╥ ω ╥)

Biancasbrokenbrother

this message may be offensive 
Heyyyy :D it’s been a while mb- hope everyone has had a good start to 2026! (Starting this off so cheerfully for a message that is definitely not cheerful- !!TW: sh mentions !!) I had like a week long streak of being clean that I fucked up maybe..two days ago? Around, yeah. I’m realizing that while I acted on my shoulder, it moved down to my lower shoulder/upper arm area :/ so if I’m not careful and I keep moving down, soon I’ll have done it from my shoulder all the way down to my wrist. Sigh. I’m kinda fucked up guys. Sorry. I told my friend, I drew a butterfly on my skin like he advised (he struggles with it too, we’re both trying to get better) and uhm yeah. That’s kinda all. Sorry if this is a whole paragraph :p also apologies if this triggered anyone :C baiiii (also sorry if this sends twice it’s like not showing up and idk if it sent or not but I’m sending it again jsut in case <\3)

Ur_Local_Weird_Gworl

@Biancasbrokenbrother i hope u feel better pookie
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Biancasbrokenbrother

The self-gaslighting is so real- and thank you :D it got a lot harder to stay clean after relapsing, but I am trying. Same for you, I’m here if you need to talk !! <3
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Ih34RtK4Rma

aw i’m so proud that you made it a week! and that you’re trying to find ways to stop <33
            i relapsed like maybe a month ago i lowkey have no sense of time but anyway ive been gaslighting myself to thinking that it doesn’t count :p
            but im so so proud of you always and i hope that you can keep continuing to improve!! i’m also so happy that you have someone to support you! i’m also here for you as well <333
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Biancasbrokenbrother

If someone tells you to stop apologizing and you apologize again for apologizing so much, is that being defiant or traumatized? Asking for a friend ;-;

Lilu37362

@Biancasbrokenbrother Well like they said, depends on the situation, if seen this as a joke in a lot of literature and on tv. But ig it’s being scared and feeling inferior. Like something bad might happened, somebody might get mad if you don’t always apologise. Tho I think this doesn’t have to be because of trauma, it’s just a habit. It could come from trauma, but in my case I’d think it’s more because I’m always very polite when talking to authority figures. So depends on the person. I think that in most cases it’s not being defiant, this would only be the case if you deliberately chose to say sorry even though you were told not to.
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SOLANGELOCALEONO1FAN

@Biancasbrokenbrother I guess it depends on the situation? in my experience (no MY experience, but ya know)  its being traumatized, I guess? in a way it could be both? but I guess traumatized???
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Biancasbrokenbrother

this message may be offensive 
Tw:vent, sh, long as f*ck
          It’s late. I’m tired. My chest hurts, and I’ve spent the last 20 minutes researching and trying to convince myself I’m not touch-starved. I feel dramatic, I had a hug fucking yesterday. This is pathetic. Not to mention idk if I’m even going to post this because of how much of a self-absorbed “woe is me” asshole I sound like rn. I guess I’m just writing this for my own comfort and to see what I actually feel like. It’s really dark. Nothing I’m doing can distract me, and I feel like I’m going to relapse. Again. Fuck. Sorry to those of you who read all of..that; I shouldn’t be complaining. You probably have your own shit to do. Should I even announce this? I don’t know. It feels like if I do I’m basically just “asking for comfort”, and I’m being too needy. Why am I suddenly outing all my insecurities to whoever’s reading this? I don’t know, but congrats because you now know a lot more abt me than my parents do. Sometimes I purposely say concerning things that I genuinely believe, and hope really hard that someone notices. That someone shows they actually care. But that’s me being too much. Again. I know it is, yet I still do it. I need to stop, I’m yapping too much. Bye. (Shit, I just pressed ‘announce to my followers’, I’m actually posting this.)

Biancasbrokenbrother

*cries in yall are too nice but also I appreciate it actually so much* virtual hugs and love back to all of you as well, tysm ❤️
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Lilu37362

@Biancasbrokenbrother Don’t worry about being a burden. That’s what ur on the internet for. If people get annoyed they can just unfollow or not read it. But all the people that care will support you and listen to you yap. I really hope you’re doing better, even if it’s just a little, or just a small smile when you read our comments. Please don’t feel bad about it. Like I said if people don’t wanna know about it they don’t have to and you don’t have to know. You can just ignore each other, so all’s fine. As long as you still feel like sharing with others we’ll be here and we’ll be glade to reassure you as much as possible. 
            *sends lots of virtual hugs, love snd affection*
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SOLANGELOCALEONO1FAN

@Biancasbrokenbrother I wish I knew you so I could hug youuu but here *sending hugs through screen* ALSO U ARE AMAZING! believe in yourself and you could=d do so much! you already do so much. you're here. online. and that's enough for me. so don't pressure yourself too much. your amazing
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Biancasbrokenbrother

GUYS i was randomly searching for a short summary of Nico di Angelo’s life/trauma (don’t ask) and when i got to the wiki underneath species it said: Demigod, Dandelion (formerly), Corn Plant (formerly). 
          
          
          
          …
          
          WTH THAT’S FOUL LMAO
          
          Also sorry for the random caps lol idk

Biancasbrokenbrother

Its my b-day :D Also happy birthday Killua!!!

Biancasbrokenbrother

I watched it on Netflix with an adult account, but if that doesn't work you could try hianime or Crunchyroll.
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Lilu37362

Where did you watch it?
            I was on vacation and could watch in on Netflix in that country, but at home I can’t.
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Biancasbrokenbrother

@Lilu37362 Thank you! And its a great show, I hoe you enjoy it :D
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Biancasbrokenbrother

Hey guyssss- lol I just remembered something that happened when I was younger and ig I wanna tell you about it. You don't have to read this though lmao.
          
          Tw:vent,gagging.   Ok, so Idk how old I was, but ever since I was around 5-6 I started getting really picky with the food I ate. My parents did not like this, and chose to combat it in an...interesting way. One of these times really stand out to me, and it was one day at dinner. My parents were trying to get me to eat oranges. For context, I hate oranges. Both the texture and the flavor. So I managed to get down a small bite before running to the bathroom and gagging. I didn't throw up, per say, but I did gag pretty hard. After coming back to the table my mom was glaring at me and my dad told me to 'stop being dramatic'. Every time after that that I've eaten something I didn't like and gagged, I've been called dramatic and my mom said if I puked all over the floor/table then I would have to clean it up. So yea, um that's most likely the reason I hate trying new foods. I just want to know and genuinely confirm that's normal. Because I always thought it was, but looking back now maybe not..? Lol, please let me know!

Lilu37362

@Biancasbrokenbrother Omg I feel really sorry for you. That’s sounds horrible. I genuinely love trying new food. When I was little we had the rule that you had to try everything once and if you didn’t like something you had to say it politely and when at some other place quietly. But I was generally tight from a young age how to behave at the table. That is also bc my grandfather is a great cook and had big feasts from time to time. His new wife (who is in general a total ass and hates my mom for defending her mother and staying loyal to her since she also still lives with her and not her father and the new wife) is very strict when it comes to dinner etiquette.
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