Lost and Found- Sam Winchester

chapter nineteen

I felt the demon inside me, moving around trying to get comfortable. It felt somewhat weird, I had some control over my body but I could see other things that I couldn't see before. Had anyone seen the demon go inside me? There was no way I could get it outside of my body myself, I was unsure how to even do it myself. I stand up and look over to Sam, who was catching his breath. Dean had been standing in front of me, with blood running down the side of his face. He had taken the worst of it, I could tell. I knew that something bad was about to happen.

"What was Jake and the demon talking about, Dean? They both said I was dead."

Dean stood there frozen, he knew what he had to do.

"Sam."

"Now is not the time. What happened?"

"Jake killed you back there at the ghost town, I went to the crossroads to bring you back."

"Dean, you didn't. Why would you do that? How long do you have?"

"I had to, Sam. I let you down, I watched you get killed. It's my job to keep you safe."

"How long?!"

"A year."

I was shocked to hear how long he had. Sam had said usually those type of deals were 10 years. But, Dean's soul probably was a big deal to the demons and they got the best of him.

"We're going to get you out of it. I promise, even if it's the last thing I do."

"You're not doing anything, they said they'll kill you again if we try anything."

"Goddamnit, Dean. You're such an idiot." Sam walks away. 

I could tell he was highly upset. But, he didn't get the chance to see how Dean was when he was gone. It was awful, I had never seen anything like it before. I feel the demon suddenly take over my body, and I was not in control. I was afraid of the things it would make me do, or say. I was praying someone would notice, but I had a feeling everyone was busy fighting for their lives when it all happened.

I started to move forward, going to Sam that had sat inside the impala. He was leaning up against the window of the backseat. 

"Sam, I'm so sorry about all this. I would've told you but I was in shock. I thought I had lost you."

"It's not your fault. I just wish Dean wouldn't have saved me, now I'm going to lose him and there's nothing I can do to stop it."

"He was just protecting you. You know you would've done the same thing if it was switched."

"Sadly, I probably wouldn't have. I know what kind of toll it takes on people. Now, I have to go through what he went through."

"I was terrified of Dean. He literally was throwing away his life. He started drinking a lot and yelling at me and Bobby. He threw us out, we all were heartbroken. Bobby left, I went to shower, and when I got out, Dean was gone and then you suddenly woke up. I was so confused, but I was so happy you were here. I couldn't live without you."

"I'm sorry he treated you like that. He's so protective of me, he always has been. Yes, I'm happy to be alive and happy to have you here with me still but I can't help but be mad at him for being so selfless."

"We'll figure it out. Together."

The demon was in full control now. I knew that it would know everything about me and use it against me. I was terrified of what it would say or do to the boys without me being in control.

"I love you, Sammy." I grabbed Sam's face, running my thumb over his cheek.

I saw the look across Sam's face, it was shock. 

I knew damn well you wouldn't have the balls to do it yourself, Angie.

Wait, it could communicate with me through my thoughts. It did know everything about me, great.

"I love you too." His voice was smooth, and calm. 

He seemed to be okay with it. He said it back, and I couldn't even express myself. Why does this demon have to be such a bitch? 

I can hear your thoughts too. Be careful what you wish for.

Sam pulled into me, bringing his lips to mine. He was being passionate but gentle, just like he always was. But suddenly, I felt my tongue slip into his mouth. I could tell Sam was surprised by this because of his sudden jolt backwards. He continued to kiss, becoming more passionate as we went. We were rudely interrupted when Dean hopped into the front seat.

"Break it up." He huffs, starting the car as I heard it roar to life.

I pushed into Sam to get him off of me, and I see the look of confusion on his face. Let's hope he would catch on that all of this was not me.

He's not that smart. Keep dreaming sweetheart.

"You know what Dean? Suck my dick. I'm tired of you putting on this whole tough guy act. We all know that you've been broken ever since your deadbeat of a dad died and left you for dead. Newsflash: the only one who cares about you is Sam and you treat him like crap, and then he dies and you bring him back and sacrifice yourself? Now, you're going to leave him. I was there the whole time Sam was gone and you treated everyone around you like shit. What is that going to do but make everyone in your life want to leave? Isn't that what everyone does anyways?"

"What is up your ass?" He looks in the rearview mirror at me.

"You obviously. I've left this inside for a long time. I can't take it any longer. Sam and I are sick of it."

"Don't pull me into this." Sam shakes his head.

"You know deep down you feel the same way. He's your big brother, I get it, but he's tearing you apart. He keeps on sacrificing himself for you, and in the end, you're gonna keep getting hurt over and over again. I can't bare to see it."

"You're right. But not completely. He's my brother, I'm always gonna love him."

"Alright. Let's cut the crap."

I suddenly feel my vision go out, and I can't see or hear anything. It was like I was asleep. I didn't know how to react. I couldn't do anything. I was out.