What's on my mind (Todobaku)

Chapter 7

Todoroki Pov

In past times, I had always felt at least a bit of control, like I could stop if he wanted, or if someone walked in the door, I would be able to put down the blade. Like it was some sort of a choice. But now, all of that disappeared, I wanted the blade so badly, no, I needed it. So that's what I did.

I sat in the bathroom after, my arms sliced up, blood all over the floor. It had never been this bad before, a few of them were very deep. I didn't cry, he just sat on the cold tile. Usually, voices filled the halls but not today, everyone was still in class. So I sat wide-eyed with the blade in my right hand, I felt so empty, my skin had goosebumps and my breathing irregular. I didn't feel any of the sadness or anger that I had when yelling at Bakugo, I didn't feel anything. Is this is, I asked myself, am I finally losing it? . . . Maybe I already did.

* * *

Bakugou pov

Thursday after school. That was the time I had decided on talking to Todoroki, and dare I say it, apologizing to him. It was currently Thursday morning, and after yesterday's events, I had made the decision to give Todoroki his space last night out of fear of hurting him again. But today I was going to try to make it better.

As I walked into Mr. Aizawas's class, I knew that Present Mic had already blabbed to him about the conversation that he and I had had yesterday. After Todoroki left, I went back to class but it was already half over by the time I worked up the nerve to go back in and face the stares of my classmates. So, he pulled me aside after the class ended.

*Flashback*

"Bakugo, can I talk to you," Present Mic said. I let out a big sigh and told Kirishima and Denki, who was standing by my desk, to go ahead and head back to the dorms without me. I trudged up to the teachers' desk at the front of the classroom, Present Mics was messy. There were papers, ungraded tests, and paperclips littering the top.

"Yea, did you need to say something to me?" I huffed.

"Why were you late to class, I know you were in the building; and why did Todoroki not show up after you dragged him out?" I knew that he was going to ask me this, yet I struggled to come up with an excuse.

"He was sick," I lied, "and I was late because I had to walk him back to the dorms." I thought it was a pretty solid lie, but the blonde standing in front of me did not seem impressed.

"Then why didn't you tell me, I could have sent him to recovery girl to get some medicine" he responded.

"It wasn't a big cold, Todoroki didn't think that was necessary, I told him to go to the dorms so he didn't get anyone else sick." The pro hero crossed his arms and pursed his lips, knowing that he could not prove me wrong, he couldn't prove me right either.

Finally, he sighed, "I'm a pro hero you know, I can smell something fishy going on here. Go on back to the dorms and make sure to study for the grammar test next week."

*Flashback over*

It's not like I wanted to lie for Todoroki to the teachers, but not breaking his trust was the more important task at hand. Still, they were starting to get a little suspicious, and maybe a little help from them for Todorokis family problems wouldn't be such a bad idea.

* * *

By the time class was over, I had thought of a million different things to say to Todoroki to make the situation better, but none of them felt right. He was in his room, I approached the door and knocked. He opened the door in a sweatshirt, his hair had a couple of the white strands in the red, cute. I just stood there.

"Well, are you going to come in?" he asked. I stepped in and sat on his bed while he did his homework.

"Look" I started "I- I'm sorry for the other day. I was totally out of line, and I know that now, and I'm really sorry-"

"Don't. Don't apologize, it wasn't your fault." He gripped his pencil tightly not daring to look up from his worksheet. The air felt stale in his room. "I was scared and confused" he continued "No one has ever made me feel this way, no one has ever tried to help me out of something other than pity. I vented my anger out on you, and you didn't deserve it. I wish you did, I wish I had a valid reason to be mad at you so I could keep ignoring you. But I don't."

"Thank you" I couldn't believe that the words were coming out of my mouth. "I really do want to help you. The teachers got a little bit suspicious about your missing class but I made up an excuse. I want to know more about your problems only if your ready so I can help you Todoroki"

"Shoto"

"What?" I said

"Please just call me Shoto."

"Ok, Shoto" I looked at him, even though I couldn't see most of his face, I saw the corner of a tiny smile.