What's on my mind (Todobaku)

Chapter 19

I used to think that I was alone, that no one understood, and I was selfish for wishing that someone did.

Now, things are different. I don't want my low self-esteem to control me. I don't want others to control me. I may never be rid of my past, I may never be "okay". But slowly, I can start to let it go. And I can start to control myself.

It's easy to only trust yourself, and it's easy to let others control you. I have fallen victim to both, but I need to strive for neither. I'm scared to start letting people in, I don't want them to turn a blind eye or let me get hurt.

It's only been three weeks but the therapy helped a little, it was nice to vent everything out. But other than that, the problems didn't just disappear. Everyone says that it takes time, but I'll get there. And I think I believe them. I've noticed that little by little, the voices are starting to get quieter and I'm starting to focus on now instead of what I could have done better.

I think Kat has helped too, he is the best boyfriend someone could have. And there is one thing that he did that I can never pay him back for, he makes me feel like I deserve him.

So far having Mic and Aizawa as my guardians have been not so much of a change. I go over to their apartment for dinner on the weekend but still sleep in the dorms like regular. I haven't told them about my and Katsuki's relationship, but I'm pretty sure they have their suspicions.

I don't really know what "normal" is, something that people with trauma want to be, and something that the people who have it don't want. Deep down we all wish that we were different in a good way. But for now "normal" doesn't matter.

I would be a fool to say that I am happy with my past even though it made me the person that I am. But, I am learning to accept it. I don't have to be "normal", because honestly. I don't really believe that "normal" exists.

"Hey," says my blond boyfriend from my dorm room door. I look up from my English homework and smile.

"Hey" I reply

"Are you ready to go?" he asks. Motioning to outside with his head. Today was the day that we were going to visit my brother, sister, and mom for dinner. When they asked, I suggested bringing Katsuki and my sister was delighted.

"Yea" It was genuine. I felt like I had a family. And in all honesty, it was a little dysfunctional, but it was a family I was proud of.

All I know is that right now, at the moment, I am happy.

And that Is all that matters, and all that I will need.

~The End

Hey, It's the author. I have had a great time writing this story and am so happy to share it. I love writing and hope to maybe write another story.

Any requests?

Oneshots/headcanons?

Traitor Denki Kaminari?

Kiribaku?

Shinkami?

I am a multi-shipper and love new ideas. Anyway, tell me if I should write an Epilogue. I really appreciate anyone who has taken the time to read this far into the story or anyone who has read a chapter.