A faded memory {Completed}

In a mix 1

When it was time for me to go back up to New York to handle business I had to leave Mal. It was frustrating for the both of us because she had everything down here, whereas I didn't.

"Isn't that girl down there? I bet this has nothing to even do with anything you said."
"Yes, she's up there but before I came down here I was upstate Mal."
"Fine...Go Roman."
"I'll be back once I get things situated. You know you are welcomed to come with me."
"I have a wonderful job here, my penthouse, and Chasity. I'm good."
"Ok, I'll see you soon."

She looked me up and down before she decided to kiss me. "Playing hard to get? Give me a kiss."
"No, I don't want you to go. Stay here and I'll give you a kiss."
"I gotta go Mal."

Her face frowned up when I removed myself and walked out on her. "Really? Just like that?"
"Are you gonna stop playing and show me some love." I laughed.
"Get out of here, tell your girl I said hi." She said kissing my lips.
"There's no other girl. Just you."
"Hmm, go on."

She gave me one last kiss and a firm grip on my ass. "Don't ever do that again." I said sternly, but laughing it off to ease the tension.
She laughed and we shared our final kiss before I headed off.

When I was down here, I had no intentions to even meet with Jocelyn. But, I did have unfinished business and that was with her.

"Looky looky, here comes my favorite cookie." Jocelyn smiled spinning around in her chair. I grabbed the handles on her chair and I attacked her lips with kisses. "You know this is wrong right? You're officially with Mal."
I bit my lip looking down at her body, "Why do you care?" I said kissing her neck as I slowly moved myself down to the floor.
"I mean, I don't...But, you shouldn't do that to her."
I opened her legs and went underneath her t-shirt. I slid her panties down and placed kisses in her sweet spots. "You came ready." I said.
"Dodging the conversation, but I like to be comfortable around the house."
"No, I'm not dodging anything."
"Then, why are here? There's nothing up here for you. You run multiple businesses, but you pretty much do what you want. So, you staying down in Florida is nothing."
"Mal is Fine, but while I'm here can I please just enjoy you."
"No." She said wrapping her legs around my neck.
I laughed as I leaned in to eat her out. She couldn't resist me and I couldn't resist her either.

"Ugh, this is so wrong..." she groaned softly.
"But, it feel so good." She said as she looked at me straddled on top of me. My hands on her waist as we both finished. From a chair in the room, to making love between the sheets.
She got off of me and left out the bed. I grabbed her arm pulling her on top of me. "Where are you going?"
"Going to get cleaned up."
"Meet you in the shower?"
"No, that's enough for you." She giggled.
"Just a few more rounds, can't leave a man on hard like this."
She looked at my man handler and laughed. "You have always been hyper sexual. That's all you want..."
"What do you mean?" I questioned.
She kissed my lips as she laid beside me throwing one leg over me. "You crave sex a lot, but you haven't quite figured out how to love."
She grabbed my man handler placing it in herself as she moaned. I held her body firmly leading the motion.
"Like, you say you love Mal..." She stopped talking and just enjoyed me making love to her. I flipped her over on to her back gently and started with long, slow strokes.
"Roman..." She smiled gripping my waist. "You can't deny that you love me." I smiled watching her face being filled with pleasure. "I mean yea, true." She said laughing.
She stopped me mid motion and looked me in the eyes, "You love Mal, but yet you are here drilling me? You haven't figured out love, but you know you enjoy having us both here. Because one of us is better at actually being able to love you and that's Mal. While us, you and me...Are just like alike. We give each other what we need, but no strings attached to the heart or mind. You crave me because you enjoy me for the moment. Vise versa. I want you for the moment, but I don't love you." She smiled and just wrapped her arms around me to finish our round.

It was that very moment it all came together. What was I doing here with Jocelyn? It wasn't about love, but just good sex and comfort. When I should have been with Mal and opening my heart to her. During this whole time of just needing answers on what I wanted or what I was looking for...I just didn't know.

During the time I was here in New York, it was never a dull moment in my room. I had Jocelyn all over me and that's exactly what Mal noticed when I came home to her.

-

"Please leave..." she said softly as she held Chasity in her arms.
"Mal, I don't know what I'm doing."
"Well, go play with somebody else. I don't want any parts of it if you won't love me like I love you."
She rose up from the couch to get Chasity a snack. "No, you have to leave it on babygirl ." She cooed.
"Roman..." she stood up facing me now, but she kept a close eye on Chasity.
"I'm not here to teach you how to love. If you want to be a player then I don't wanna be one of the women you use."
"Mal damnit now! I told you commitment is hard for me."
"You're a man, in your early 30's and you don't wanna settle down. You want to go up state and have some NYC pussy and then come home to me. You only want to keep me because you know I'm a good one. Any man would love a woman like this. You're just good for dick and mixed emotions as far as right now."
"Mal, I'm sorry."
"Yea, I know you are sorry again! I don't know why I put up with you like a dumb ass. Can you just leave please? Goodbye and lock the door on your way out."

I should have listened to her because after awhile a woman mentally leaves you. While you think you may still have her because she lets you in for a good time, but you can tell by the little things she used to do that she doesn't do anymore...that's how you know lost her. And that's exactly what happened.