A faded memory {Completed}

Ocean Deep Love 2

"Because I have to fix everything because you don't trust me!" I shouted.
"What was the point of marrying me or even getting this far with me if you didn't trust me?" I sat on the edge of the bed looking down at the ground. I was frustrated and I didn't want to keep fighting with her. She yelled at me for a few minutes before I decided to take my ring off throwing it on the bed. "If you want a fucking divorce, then just say that. You don't have to keep coming up with shitty arguments if you want to leave."

For the first time, I left. Never have I done that before. I didn't want to leave home, so I decided to sleep in one of the guest rooms for tonight.
"Roman." Chasity came into my room a little scared as she peeked in. "Come here, baby girl." I smiled and she jumped in my bed right into my arms. "You and Mommy ok?"
"We are fine...These are grown-up things and everything will be ok. Don't you worry my little angel." I kissed her head and she snuggled in the bed. "Can we sleep with mommy? Why are you in here?" She giggled.
"Just needed some space. We can go back to mommy if you want to." I smiled.
"Chasity, it's bedtime." Mal rolled her eyes looking at me. "I wanna sleep with Roman and you Mommy!" She jumped.
"You are going to sleep in your room, tonight is not the night."
"Mal, don't you do that to her. Don't let our problems interfere with our children's happiness."
"Chasity, let's go, baby. I and Roman need to talk tonight, ok? Maybe another night, but we need some time together alone."
"Ok, Mama." She slid out of the bed and went back to her room.

I had got up and went to the master bedroom with Mal.
"Roman."
"Mal."

We called each other at the same time as we made eye contact. "I don't want you to leave me. So, put it on right now." She said tossing my ring to me.
"Why? So you can keep bringing up old stuff and slapping it in my face? Or keep making an argument out of every little inconvenience? So you can yell in my face that you don't trust me and wish I'd left you alone? Right...that's what you want."
"No. I'm sorry."
"That's the first time in years I've ever heard you say that. Why do you pick at me? What am I doing wrong now?"

It was silence.

"Speak to me, tell me what's on your mind?"
"A lot...I feeling like if I loosen my grip on you, I will end up hurt again."
"I'm here at home all day long. I only go out if I need to, I hang out with some friends, and that's it. Is it Jocelyn? Because you are worried that when she's here, along with me and the kids something is going to happen."
"That's part of it, yeah pretty much."
"You want a camera up or something? Because I don't know what to do for you just to be happy. I can't take back the kid Mal."
"Well, she got what she wanted from you."
"Yeah, she fucking did. She got me trapped in."
"Now, she can get her hands all over you. Not to mention you'd fall right back into her."
"That's not true..."
"Sure."
"I don't want her, I want you Mal, baby."
"I just don't think with her being around here often is going to be any good. I'm going to start working soon and now all of the sudden she stays a lot longer with the kids."

This went on and on for a long time. I don't even remember how long because I eventually tuned her out. Like, you ignorant little woman. I love you, but for fuck sakes just love me how I love you.

Karma. Welcome home. Because with you smiling over my shoulder, this wasn't going to last on.

Mal was head over hills in love with me, but I was too busy being an asshole. Now, it's like I'm too late because the damage is done.

I leaned over to her and I just placed my head on her thigh.
"Mal, you remember how you wanted me to love you like you loved me?"
"Yea, what about it?"
"Where did that love go? Because for years now, I haven't felt that love. I admit all my wrongs, but I just want to know if you still love me the same."

Silent.