A faded memory {Completed}

In a mix 2

As I was caught up doing my own thing, I realized I didn't have Mal anymore. Back and forth to New York to be with Jocelyn, then coming back to Mal. Things got real ugly when I had to tell another woman that I was expecting a child with another woman.

"Are you positive?"
"You are looking at the picture of the baby now. It's right there. You should have heard the little heart beat."
I placed my hand on her stomach and leaned down gently placing my head on stomach. I got myself caught up in the mix.

I remember just going back home and holding her in my arms. She wasn't happy at all about it because I wasn't the type of man you wanted to get stuck with. I knew I had to stop. Not just for the baby, but for her as well. Putting away all the bullshit I've caused and wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to be a good man and father.

During the early stages of the pregnancy wasn't easy at all. She wanted space and didnt want me around as much. It hurt me so bad to see the mother of my child neglect me when I wanted to do better.

"Hey..." I smiled coming inside with a bowl of warm soup. "I know you haven't felt too good, so my Mama made you some soup."
"Oh, ok thank you. Tell her I appreciate it and I'll eat some when I can. I haven't had much of an appetite."
"I know...If you need anything please call me."
"Yea sure." She shrugged and walked me out.

It was awkward. Every time I came to see her, she wants me to leave as soon as I get there.

"Mal, can we talk?" I asked bringing her snacks to her. "No, not really. Thank you for my snacks, I was craving."
"Why don't you want me to be here with you? I talked to Jocelyn and I told her. My attention is all on you."
"Hmm, took me getting pregnant to get that."
"You had my attention before you were pregnant. What you trynna say?"
"I'm saying you want to be involved with me more because I'm pregnant. You didn't care about me or how I felt when I wasn't pregnant with your child. I don't need you here, but I do like it when you bring me food."
"So, you don't want me here?"
"Exactly, but when I text you for anything just know that's the only time I will ever need you."

Throughout her early pregnancy she was like that. It was like she trying to get back at me. It was eating my insides up because I wanted this with her and I'd do anything to experience this moment without the pain I caused.

When I arrived to her house she had a few friends over. I could tell they knew a lot about me and probably didn't like me at all. Which is understandable because I messed up...like a lot.

"Mal, baby I got you some fruit, pop corn, and the candy you asked for." I said squatting down eye level to her in the chair.
"Thank you." She smiled taking the bag. She leaned over and kissed me by surprise. She has never done that for the past 4 months of this pregnancy.
"Aww, you guys are too cute!" Her friends cooed.
"So, Roman is it true you guys are moving in with each other? When can we come over!?" They giggled and laughed.
I felt Mal's hand gently grip my side. "Soon! Getting that room ready for my baby." I smiled looking at Mal a little confused on what was going on.
"She told us all about you! So good to see you step in as a man. Now, you are having one of your own! How does it feel?"
"It feels good, I'm really excited." I stood up and gently pulled Mal up by her arm. "Gonna take away Mal for a bit so we can have a little talk."

She sat on the bed and rolled her eyes at me. "Don't get too happy...These are my rich friends, with perfect lives."
"They sound fake..."
"No, they are good people. However, if I told them the truth about what was really going they'll look down on me. So, just act like you are the greatest man alive. I know you're not, but just hang up your clown suit for awhile." She scoffed and left out the room.

"Mal, you know we have our couples event coming soon. I know you never got to attend the previous years because you were pregnant with your first daughter and tending to her."
"I don't know, I think Roman may have to work."
"Nope, I'm free." I said popping up from behind her.
"Great!" She smiled and I knew by her voice she was irritated by me.

This couples event was an eye opener for Mal. It was this game where you ask your significant other questions about you. They were simple questions, but it made her see me differently.

"Mal and Roman, you guys should go first! We are so excited to have you here."
"Oh, well ok then." She chuckled nervously and grabbed the cards.
"How many questions do I ask before we move on?"
"Just three." The other couples were head over hills in love and you could really tell. I looked at Mal and she looked at me. The disappointment on her face shattered my heart. We were surrounded by married couples, with nice families. Something Mal once had.

"Ok, what is my favorite color?"
"Yellow, along with orange. But, yellow is definitely your number one favorite."
"That's-wow that's Right.." she said looking at me.
"Umm, a place I want to visit?"
"The last place you told me was anywhere with tall snow mountains and glaciers. You never told me any specific location."
"That's right...Let's hurry up. Umm, where was our first kiss?"
"In my car, in the middle of the night after our first little date."
She smiled at me and she kissed me. The people around us cooed and awed.
"I'm sorry! I just...he's so damn wonderful." She laughed.

We continued the game for a few rounds before we moved on to the others. But, that first game showed Mal that I do pay attention to every little detail that comes out of her mouth.

After the event ended, we headed back home.
"I can't believe you...you really do know me?"
"I listened to every word. I know I haven't been the most loyal guy. I know that there's no making up for how I made you feel, but I want to be like those couples. Full of love, happiness, and a pretty ring on your finger. I didn't think I was gonna get you pregnant. I was just joking!" We both laughed and she fell in to my arms as I wrapped them around her.
"Can't say I didn't tell you to get off."
"I know, I know. Mama didn't listen." She laughed looking up at me.
"Now I'm preggos and fat again."
"That's just baby mama fat, and I'm going to have a field day with all those yummy goodies." I poked at her tummy gently as I kissed her head.
"I love you, Mal."
"I love you too, Roman. As much as I hate to admit it I've been trying to avoid these feelings."
"Why?"
"Because you kept going back to Jocelyn and fucking her. I didn't want to end up hurt."
I ran my hand down my face and kissed her head. "You don't have to hide those feelings. Show them to me, I want all of you. And I promise you'll get all of me with no strings attached anywhere else, but to you, Chasity, and our little cookie in there."
Mal scanned my eyes, placed her hands on my hands, and kissed me. "Don't hurt me anymore Roman."
"I won't, you got every part of me. It's over, no more."
She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck with her face buried in the crook of my neck. This was the exact moment I knew what being in love felt like.

And it was so beautiful.