Head In The Stars

Chapter Forty

Keep your head out of the stars.

I can't tell you the amount of times I've repeated that statement to myself. It constantly runs through my head. Never ending.

"Do you think this counts?" I ask, throwing more popcorn into my mouth.

Ray looks over and raises an eyebrow. Teagan tells us to be quiet.

Finally, Miley answers me. "What?" She says.

I sigh and pull my knees to my chest. "Do you think this counts?"

"Counts for?" She asks, looking at me.

I lean my head back against the truck. My gaze goes to the sky, where the stars blaze down at me. They seem to be smiling. More accurately, smirking.

"Never mind," I mutter, tucking my chin behind my knees, my arms wrapped around myself.

Teagan and Miley exchange a look. Ray groans and gets up to pause the movie. Charlie and Thomas also share a look before getting up and walking away.

Everyone seems convinced that I'm about to fall into some deep depression so they've been forcing me to do all these activities with them.

Tonight is an example. Ray set up a projector on the side of this old barn in this random field. We're sitting in the back of Hunter's truck and having a movie marathon.

Miley and Teagan sidle up to me, one on each side. I sigh and pull my knees closer, trying to disappear.

"What's up?" Miley asks, giving me a look.

"C'mon," Teagan urges. "Talk."

"I have nothing to say," I tell them.

"What's wrong?" Miley asks, nudging me with her shoulder.

I squeeze my eyes shut, willing for a hole to appear underneath me.

"Avril," Teagan sighs.

"Guys!" I say, snapping my eyes open. "I'm fine. Okay? I'm not going to fall apart. You don't have to act so worried."

"We're not acting," Teagan whispers.

"That's not what I meant," I tell her.

Miley looks at me, studying me carefully.

"What?" I ask.

"Hm."

"What?!"

"Nothing," she says.

I rest my chin on top of my knees. "No. Tell me."

She sighs and looks away. "It's just that you seem so different now."

"What?" I ask. "Is it my hair?"

I reach my hand up to touch my golden locks. A couple days ago I decided to cut my hair. Instead of falling way past my shoulders, almost to my ass, it's now a short pixie cut, just above my ears with side bangs.

I also added two more piercings to my ears and stopped wearing contacts. I now always have on a pair of black rimmed glasses.

The change was a total leap of faith but I'm in love with all of it. I needed something new. I felt the need to symbolize the fact that I'm starting fresh.

"No," Miley replies. "I love your hair. I really like your new look. It's totally, like, badass."

"Then, what's wrong?" I question.

She points to my chest, to where my right hand rests. "That."

I look down. My right hand has been clutching my necklace all night.