"Just Friends."

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Two. 

            The month of January went by all too quickly with Justin. We ended up staying the whole entire month at his parent’s in Canada and I’ve never seen anything like it or experienced anything like it but his family was incredible and he was just incredible. Things have been going so good for us that on our way back to the dorms I felt like I’d throw up because I just know things will be different here as much as he says they won’t be.

            He was telling the truth when he said he’d let me take the lead. Never once was the future about us brought up again and even though it’s been a whole month of dating him I’m still unsure about it. I’m not unsure that I want to be with him I’m just unsure of how it’s honestly going to work out because he hasn’t been around temptation yet. He hasn’t been around the girls here at college who have their eyes on him like I know they do and he hasn’t been around the alcohol at the frat house, the partying, just everything that could ruin us is all situated at this one damn place so I’m not going to give him my heart when I don’t know if he’ll give in. I honestly don’t know how much he cares about me as much as he says he does. Those could all just be a bunch of words that he doesn’t even mean.

            I feel horrible for thinking all of these things and not telling him about how I feel but if I did I just know he’d jump to conclusions and he’d think that I don’t want to be with him. I’m just so confused right now because after the night I told him how I felt and after we had actual sex for the first time, things between us changed and now he’s constantly sappy and just extremely clingy. I love when he’s romantic and when he makes romantic gestures but clingy is something I’ve never really experienced before and in all honesty it scares me because no one has ever clung to me and I’m not about to cling to anyone because I’ve taught myself to never do that. The moment I let myself cling onto someone is the moment they do something to leave my life forever.

            “Here.” Justin reassured. “I got that.”

            Pulling out my suitcase from his trunk, he began to wheel it up the pavement towards my dorm room and I grabbed onto his hand to thank him for that. These were the times I appreciated him and it just made me realize how much I do love and care for him.

            Nobody has found out yet that we’re dating and I haven’t talked to Casey the entire break. It’s not that I didn’t have her number, because I do, it’s just that I’ve been busy and completely distracted by Justin and she was completely distracted by Scott I think.

            “Casey!” I shrieked when I saw her, tackling her on the bed. Her eyes grew wide before she started to laugh and hugged me back, looking behind me to see Justin standing by the doorway.

            “Hey Reina! How was your break?”

            “I have a lot to tell you.” I replied, looking behind me at Justin.

            Before I did that though I asked her how her break was and she went into a whirlwind of details about how boring it was because she had to be away from Scott and then she began to tell me about all of the pity fights her aunt and uncle’s got into, Justin finally coming up behind me when she got finished for a second and wrapped his arms around my waist.

            “I should probably get back.” He laughed, my whole body numb from his touch. “Come over later?”

            For the first time in a month we were actually going to spend some time apart and I was kind of relieved for a second because whenever I was around him I got all nervous and I tried to look my best because I wanted to impress him and now I can just relax for a couple hours with Casey to have some much needed girl time. Maybe he wasn’t clingy after all.