Unrivaled [On Going]

Chapter 13

Isang buwan matapos pumanaw ng kaniyang ina ay nakatira na si Oreo sa bahay ng pamilya Alvarez. Kahit biglaan ang pagkawala ng kaniyang ina ay mukhang napaghandaan na nito lahat ng maaaring mangyari. Lahat ng ari – arian na iniwan ng mommy niya ay nakapangalan na sa kaniya. Ang bahay lamang nila ang ibinenta dahil ibinilin ng ina na ang perang makukuha roon ay gagamitin para sa kaniyang pag – aaral.

Ginawa ring pansamantalang legal guardians niya ang mag – asawang Alvarez dahil wala siyang ibang kamag – anak na nasa Pilipinas. Ang lolo at lola niya ay nasa Australia at wala ring kapatid ang mommy niya. Ang kamag – anak naman ng tatay niya ay nasa ibang bansa rin. Ibinilin lahat ng mommy niya sa abogado ang mangyayari sa kaniya kapag namatay ito.

Hindi niya napigilan makaramdam ng pagtatampo para sa mommy niyang iniwan siya nang biglaan. Pakiramdam niya ay sinadya nitong huwag sabihin agad sa kaniya ang kondisyon nito at nang sabihin nito sa kaniya ang totoo ay agad rin itong pumanaw. Ni hindi man lang siya pinagbigyan ng Diyos na makasama pa ng mas matagal ang mommy niya. Puno ng hinagpis ang puso niya at alam niyang mas nalulunod pa siya sa kalungkutan araw – araw.

Marami siyang tanong sa kaniyang isip na wala namang makasagot. Gusto niyang umiyak ngunit hindi na niya nagawa ulit pagkatapos ng libing. Para bang naging bato ang puso niya sa mga nangyari sa kaniya. Hindi niya alam paano o saan magsisimula.

Ano nga ba ang alam ng isang teenager sa ganitong sitwasyon? May formula ba na pwede niyang sundin upang mas mapadali niyang matanggap ang pagkamatay ng kaniyang ina? Ano nga ba ang dapat niyang gawin?

Oreo's chest felt restrained, her breath was forced. She's looking outside, sitting on a sofa beside the window of her bedroom in this big house of Kristoff's family. Her mind was throbbing with the thoughts of her mother, of herself, of her, now being all alone in the world, living with people she just met a year ago.

It was raining. Even it was summer and it's supposed to be fun, but for her, the gloomy sky felt like they were mourning, too.

Napahinto siya sa mga pinag – iisip nang may kumatok sa kaniyang pinto. "Pasok po."

Nang magbukas ang pinto ay nakita niya si Kristoff, hawak – hawak ang doorknob. Nakapambahay lang ito at mukha pang walang suklay. "May meryenda sa baba, baka gusto mo raw kumain sabi ni mama."

Umiling siya. Simula nang mamatay ang mommy niya ay halos wala na siyang ganang kumain. Napipilitan lang siyang sumabay kumain sa pamilya nito dahil ayaw niyang maging pabigat o maging sentro ng atensyon ng mga ito. Ayaw na niyang bigyan pa ng pag – aalala ang Tita Emma niya.

"I'm not hungry. Sa dinner na lang ako sasabay. Salamat," iyon lang at napatingin na siya ulit sa labas ng kaniyang bintana, pinapanood ang bawat butil ng ulan na pumapatak sa mga dahon ng puno.

Akala niya ay aalis ng tahimik itong si Kristoff, sa halip ay isinara nito ang pinto at pumasok ito sa kaniyang silid at lumapit sa kaniya. Nilingon niya lang ito ng mabilis ngunit ibinalik niya rin ang mga mata sa tanawin sa labas. Wala naman itong sinambit, tahimik lang din itong napatingin sa ulan at naupo sa tabi niya.

There was a deafening silence between them but it was peace for Oreo. She had been living with him and his family for a month and they welcomed her with open arms but she couldn't become happy. She kept faking a smile, trying to ease the worries she saw in their eyes whenever they look at her. She's grateful for their kindness towards her but she can't seem to find any more reason to become really happy.

"Chocolate...we are friends, right?" Binasag ni Kristoff ang katahimikan. "You can always tell me everything."

Tinitigan niya ito ng mga malulungkot niyang mga mata. Ngunit hindi niya nagawang makapagsalita. Walang lumalabas sa kaniyang bibig at hindi rin nag – iisip ang utak niya. Bakas sa mukha ng binata na nalulungkot din ito, na para bang gusto nitong malaman niya na hindi siya nag – iisa sa kaniyang mga nararamdaman.

Oreo felt the need to sit closer to Kristoff. And quietly she put her head on his shoulder, hugging her knees all to herself, like a child. She did not say a word and Kristoff didn't too. But she could hear his heartbeat getting louder like a melody to her ears, knowing someone else was with her, sharing the noiseless sorrow she was enduring. Kristoff sat firmly and never moved an inch while her heart was fainting within the walls of melancholy.

She felt like she's living in a world with a broken clock, the time had stopped for her. Her life was changing and it's shattering down to its core. A mountain of pain and a sea of tears succumbed her very soul. She even questioned God for it, still there was never an answer, no one can answer her.

Kristoff found a book lying on the bedside table and took it. He opened it and turned some pages and read one of the poems written on it.

"It was just another summer day in May

I've got a lot of unwritten poetry to say

A thousand dandelions covered the sky

When you left they turned into black rye

I started to cry when the storm came in

Charcoal clouds and the sepulchral rain

It was like you saying...

I love you but I'm in pain.

It was like you uttering...

I want you but I cannot stay."

As Kristoff finished reading, tears fell down from Oreo's eyes. She finally cried again, feeling the agony that needed to be felt, feeling the loss of her mother so dear to her, realizing she will never come back. She will never be able to see her smiling at her when she got good grades.

She will never be able to hear the voice of her mom calling her when it's about time to eat. She will never feel again her mother's affection towards her. She will never have her warm hugs and soft kisses again.

And in between her weeping and a lump in her throat, Oreo finally said these words, "I miss mommy, Kris. I miss her so much."

*****

I know. I'm sorry. This is another sad chapter. But I hope you guys still love it.

Votes and comments are welcome po!

Thank you.

Love & Light,

BC