𝐖𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐀𝐘 ~ 𝒄𝒎𝒃

Chapter Fourteen: I'm not sure I know what love is

"So, Mister Surprise, where are you taking me this time?" I ask curiously. I have a feeling Corbyn's mind is full of creative ideas.

We're walking around at the pier, and just like the last time, I have no idea where we're going.

"You're really curious, do you know that?" Corbyn grinned.

"Hey, you're always acting sneaky, so I have no other choice."

"I just love surprising you, you always get so excited. And I have a feeling you're really gonna love this one."

"Come on, tell me! I wanna know." Now I'm just straight up begging.

"You're lucky we just arrived at our surprise." He pointed at the water, more specifically at the boats laying on the shore.

I look confused at him, still having no clue what he has planned. He grinned and started explaining.

"I rented a boat for a day, so we can spend the day on the water."

"That sounds amazing! I've never been on a boat. But then again, I haven't done many things in my life." I say it as a joke, but instantly get a little sad. Whenever I think about what I've been through, my mood darkens.

Corbyn notices, because he always does, and takes my hand to give it a little squeeze. "I'll make sure you still get to experience all the things you missed growing up. Better late than never."

"I would really like that," I whisper softly.

Time skip

I literally can't believe my eyes during the boat trip. It's the coolest thing I've ever done, floating on the water in a vehicle. It's amazing.

Corbyn stops the boat for a moment, so we can enjoy the beautiful view. He gets a blanket out of the cabin, spreads it on the floor of the boat and sits down. He pats down next to him, asking me to take a seat as well. We snuggle down together, his arms wrapped around me and my head on his chest. His scent fills my nostrils, as I feel the warmth of his body against mine.

For a while we stay like that in silence, enjoying each other's company. Suddenly corbyn sits up and clears his throat.

"Look, Liz, there's actually something I wanna tell you." His face expression suddenly gets way too serious for my liking.

"Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?" I start panicking, but he quickly takes my hand in a soothing way.

He takes a deep breath, as he seems to gather all the confidence he has in his body.

"Corbyn, what's going on? You're scaring me." I ask worried, but Corbyn stays quiet, sunk in his thoughts.

"Liz, I love you," he then finally blurted out.

Wow.

I'm shocked by the words that just left his mouth. No one, other than my friends, has ever told me they love me. Not even my own mother.

I try opening my mouth to say something, although the words seem to be stuck in my throat, but he quickly places his finger on my lips to make me hush.

"I know it's kinda rushed, because we haven't known each other for that long, but honestly, to me it doesn't feel rushed. From the first moment I saw you, I was so amazed. I had never seen someone with such confidence, yet such light glowing from her. I was immediately consumed by you, and I hadn't even talked to you. But God, when I did, I was even more breathtaken."

Corbyn interlocks our hands as he continues. "You don't have to say it back, just now it's how I feel. I love you." He brushed some loose hair out of my face.

I leave out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "Corbyn.. You're the first person who has ever looked at me like I'm not just the daughter of a criminal. No, you looked at me like I was something precious, something fragile. Like I was worth being here." Tears start tingling my eyes.

"And I can't tell you how amazing that felt. I can't tell you how amazing that still feels, every time you look at me." I smile a little, but quickly get serious again. The next words I'm gonna tell him, are gonna hurt.

"Even though I want to, I can't say I love you. I can't."

A hurt expression appears on his face, and his eyes get so dark my heart breaks into a million pieces. I quickly continue and try to explain myself.

"And I'm not saying this because I don't have feelings for you." His face gets hopeful again, and some light reappears in his eyes. "I've never felt this way before. Ever."

I take a deep breath. "It's just that i'm not sure if I know what love is. I'm not sure if I'm even able to love someone. Not when I grew up in the way i did," I say, and look away to avoid his gaze.

He immediately takes my chin and makes me look at him again. "Your past doesn't define you, Liz. I know the dome must have been a horrible place to live, a place without any love, but that doesn't mean you're not able to feel that way." He slowly puts our foreheads together.

"It might take a little longer to say the words, but that doesn't mean it's not there. I can see from the way you look at things, you have so much love in your heart which you'll eventually share with the world. And until you're ready for that, I'll wait." His soft voice makes my eyes tear up.

Before he can say anything more, I pull him close and press my lips against his. Maybe because I wanna feel his warmth, his light, his love. Or maybe because I wanna avoid telling him the other reason I can't say I love him.

I can't tell him I love him, because I have to protect myself from getting even more hurt. I can't even stand looking at him, knowing I'll soon be breaking his heart. And mine.