The Nerd [BXB]

32 𖠇 Overwhelming Awkwardness

   I remain silent the entire morning up until I close the door inside Harvey's car. At the instant, when it's just the two of us, I speak, "What the fudge is wrong with you?"

   He does not dare to look at me, slamming his head on the steering wheel.

   I had woken up today—not to my alarm—but the constant twinkling of my notifications to deliver me the news that I had had sex at a party. And, of course, what better place to lose my virginity than a stranger's bathroom. Endless texts and phone calls from the trinity of witches; Genesis, Blaire, and Aurora. Even those I have never laid eyes upon expected a response about my so-romantic night.

   "Please don't look at me," Harvey murmurs with his forehead still laying over the wheel.

   "How could I not look at the man that had me all to himself last night?" I snap, tilting my body to be fully facing him. "Now, look at me and speak with reason because I've never been so angry and confused until today."

   "I'm too ashamed," he proceeds to whisper, not moving an inch.

   "As you should be," I let him know, crossing my arms. "This is the exact reason I avoided people all my life. I knew that, someday, I would be in the center of a rumor."

   He picks his head up but looks forward at a ginger cat crossing the street. "I was not myself that night," he begins, sighing loudly. "I was on drugs and horny—a terrible combination."

   I tilt my head to the side and continue to stare at him. "Is that your apology?"

   He finally looks at me. "I'm sorry, Theo," he says. "I am."

   "I have so many questions—"

   "Please don't," he interrupts me, shutting his eyes tightly and gripping the wheel. "It's better if you keep them to yourself."

   I grunt and lay back on my seat. "I don't want to go to school," I tell him, well-aware that everyone will have their eyes all over me. If I'm being honest, I wouldn't be surprised if news reporters were shoving their mics on my face and cameras flashing all around me. "I can't bring myself to look at everyone."

   He unlocks the doors, but I lock them back up. "Take me to Oscar's house," I say, knowing he'll bring me the peace and comfort I need to feel right now.

   He simply nods and hits the gas.

   As soon as we are outside, I get off the car and walk up the stairs. After knocking, his mom greets me with a wide grin. Al waves in the back, stuffing her mouth with apple slices.

   "Looking for Oscar?" she asks, wiping her hands on her apron.

   I nod. "Yes."

   She leans on the door. "He's at school, Theo. He left early morning to work on a yard before heading to class."

   I groan internally. "Right," I say, disappointed. "I'll go catch him then. Have a nice day!"

   Thankfully, Harvey had waited for me to go inside the house.

   "School it is," he says, about to drive after I am back on the passenger's side.

   "Actually," I stop him, "let's talk."

   He grunts but turns the engine off.

   At first, there is a silence that is louder than the chirping birds flying above the city. With no word from him, I decide to speak, "So how did I end up at that party?"

   He takes a deep breath and releases a nervous chuckle. "I could ask myself the same thing."

   "I'm serious, Harvey," I say. "Last time I checked, I was with Oscar and Al—no one else."

   His dark green eyes barely glance at me. "I must've mentioned you while I was high," he explains. "Your name slipped out of my lips."

   I nod slowly. "And the sex part?" I continue to question him. "What does that have to do with me?"

   "Can we not, Theo?" He runs a hand across his caramel hair. "It's going be awkward for the two of us."

   I shrug. "How awkward can it get by now?"

   "You'd be surprised," he says, tilting his head to the side with wide eyes.

   "Let me guess," I say. "You had sex while on drugs."

   "Correct."

   "That's it," I admit. "That's where I get lost."

   He looks at me for a while and then back at the wheel. With his head down, he admits: "I might've imagined—" He stops right there. "Nope! I can't do it."

   "Harvey!" I nudge his shoulder. "Just tell me!"

   He shakes his head continuously.

   "Harvey Cohen!" I insist, growing impatient. "The least you can do is admit everything to me—"

   "I imagined myself having sex with you!" he blurts out all of a sudden, forcing me to quiet down. "As I was straddling Autumn, I only saw you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

   I am speechless. Something I thought only happened in the movies, but certain confessions can literally snatch the tongue out of your mouth. I did not know that until today.

   "But I was on drugs," he repeats, "which meant projecting you onto her nothing. Why? Because I had no sense of what was going on. It was just some fucked up imagery the drugs caused for no reason whatsoever so please let's not make this awkward and move on."

   Now aware that I can't speak, I close my mouth.

   "How about we start by driving to school?" he asks, cheeks igniting into a fiery red. Who knew I would be witnessing none other than Harvey Cohen blushing from embarrassment? "Just a normal day like any other."

   I lick my lips and nod.

   In actuality, I can speak—obviously. I just don't know what to say. Really: What is there to say? Imagine someone else when having sex, Harvey? How did my body look when naked in your fascinating sex fantasy? Was I at least satisfied? Did I look good while going at it?

   "That's why there are signs all across the school that warn us about drugs," I find myself talking, staring forward.

   "Because we might disappoint our sex partners after admitting to them that we hallucinated having sex with someone else the entire time?" he asks, parking outside the school.

   I don't know why but I start laughing loudly, shielding my mouth with my hand as if that might stop me somehow. Maybe it is from the overwhelming awkwardness, but Harvey follows along—also laughing by my side with his eyes resting on me.

   "Why are we laughing?" Harvey asks between chuckles, arm over his abdomen.

   I take deep breaths and lay back on the seat. "Because these last five minutes ranked first on the most awkward conversations I've had in my entire life—right before the 'talk' with my mother."

   "Was it that bad?" he says.

   "Since you're so good at visualizing," I tell him, earning a flinch from him, "visualize a lesbian mother trying to teach her son about gay sex."

   He resumes his laughter, clapping both hands over his face. "This is not how I expected my day to go."

   I smile at him, drained of energy. "It's a good way to start the day, isn't it?"

   His laughter diminishes to a soft chuckle. With his eyes on me, he says, "It truly is, Theo."

"Just promise to never make a scandal about me having sex with you ever again," I tell him, watching him carefully.

He hides his face with his arm and his olive skin turns to a heating red. "Shut up, Theo."

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A\N: Like and comment for more! I'm so excited to share the upcoming chapter! :)