The Nerd [BXB]

22 𖠇 Change of Plans

   The month-long break passes by in a blink of an eye. After the kiss with Oscar, I texted my mother to pick me up. As soon as I laid under by bedsheet covers, my phone screen lightened up from the bedside table, letting me know that I had received a notification. Without having to check, I knew it must be him.

   There was an emotion swirling inside me that I could not lay my finger on just yet as I did not bother to reach for the phone. This feeling felt like a rope tugging my neck to a direction I did not recognize of myself—and that frightened me immensely. What am I becoming nowadays? How detached am I from the boy that would never socialize and just spend most of his time locked inside the school library?

   That went on for the entire break, countless messages and endless calls from Oscar. Every time my phone showed me his name, I felt a guilt that chewed me from the inside for not replying to him. Truth be told, I was being a coward that did not know what to do with his life anymore.

   "Here we are," mom says, parking in the drop-off section of the school.

   I look at the building anxiously, not sure if coming today—or any other day—is a good idea after what happened in the last few months. Sadly for me, there is no going back anymore so I grab my bag, kiss my mom goodbye, and head down. Luckily, or maybe not so much, for me, Harvey is already in front of the entrance door, leaning on the wall with his phone on one hand and the other in his pocket.

   I lower my head and grip both straps of my backpack. "Hey," I barely mutter, standing in front of him.

   He offers me his hand. "Ready?"

   I take his grip and nod.

   With that, he opens the door for me, never letting my hand go. As soon as we walk in holding hands, the hallways quiet down their conversations to lay their eyes on him and I. Some crowds in the middle of the halls move aside to let us pass while others pat Harvey's back as if I was some sort of trophy they should congratulate him for.

   I look to my left and see Genesis smiling at me in approval near her locker open. Then, about three lockers down from hers stand Oscar with a book in hand. He squints his eyes at the sight of Harvey and I holding hands, tightening his jaw.

   I lower my head, not wanting to notice the attention around me anymore.

   "We have arrived to your destination," Harvey says, stopping in front of my first class.

   "Thanks," I tell him, smiling at him.

   "No need for you to thank me," he responds, picking up my other hand so he's now holding both. "I enjoy walking with my boyfriend to class."

   He comes down and places a soft peck on my lips. However, I don't think I reciprocate as much as he did, mostly keeping my lips still.

   "See you later?" he asks, slowly letting me go.

   "Of course," I respond.

   He turns around and heads down the hallway, meeting up with his soccer teammates as I enter the room. Sure enough, after I settle down, Oscar steps through the door with his jaw still tighten, barely gazing at me.

𖠇

Thanksgiving Night

   "Harvey," I begin, "I have something to confess."

Harvey keeps his hand on my cheek, tilting his head to the side. "Alright," he says. "Share with me."

I look behind me at the door, considering to run out of this room—this house—and curl up in my bed. However, I cannot move on with a happy face knowing that a lie follows along. So I bottle up all the courage I can find in me and take a deep breath before saying, "I've been lying to you."