The Nerd [BXB]

40 𖠇 Cheers For A Brighter Future

"Harvey, are you okay?"

His face is flushed, pale compared to his olive skin tone. He's taking deep breaths as he places both hands behind his head. "I'm all good," he says between gasps. "Just a little agitated from the game."

The field is beginning to get isolated as families head home. Meanwhile, Harvey and I remain on the grass with the moonlight above us.

I notice a figure peek through the bleachers. Oscar.

He gives me a quick wave and places his hands in his pockets.

Harvey also notices him.

I look at Oscar. I look at Harvey.

"You want to go with him?" Harvey asks me. "After how much he made you cry?"

"He just wants to talk," I tell him.

Harvey sighs, looking down at the grass before giving me a soft look. "Don't let him hurt you. Don't give him that much power." He doesn't know if he's speaking to himself or me.

I take a step close to him. "You want me to stay here with you?"

Yes. He wants to say that. Stay with me, Theo.

"Go ahead. I'll be here."

I smile at him. "It'll be quick."

He just nods.

I head over to Oscar. "Hello, stranger in the dark."

Oscar grins, placing a hand in his chest to fake pain. "Ouch. Don't call me that."

I force a smile, but his face is a constant reminder of the pain he made me go through. And I hate that, because how could I ignore how happy his face has also made me.

"It's been more than a month," I say. "Why do you want to talk to me all of a sudden?"

"Come on," he says. "Let's walk."

The school parking lot is deserted.

He walks by my side and I can smell him. The slight scent of cigarettes and strong cologne. If I had to take a guess, he probably smoked one to get the courage to speak to me again.

"I think about the future a lot," he mumbles, looking down as we walk.

I don't know what to say to that. Is that meant to be his explanation for completely abandoning me without a single text?

He stops walking so I do the same. He turns my way so he's facing me directly as he begins to speak, "I am excited about the future, but I'm equally scared of it. Because who knows if in a few years, months, weeks, or hours even I'll be crying or screaming or laughing and cheering."

"You make your own future, Oscar," I remind him. "Let it be what you want it to be."

He stares at my face with his soothing eyes and places his hand on my cheek. Although I should pull away, I want him to keep it there so I can feel his skin on my skin.

"I think that it would be foolish of us to believe that we will not graduate soon and depart our own ways," he says, eyes still on me. "And as the years go on and so do the lovers, our memories will simply be that. Memories."

As if he can't help himself, he pulls me for a hug, gripping me tight and breathing me in. "Such as this instant, which I pray I remember forever." He closes his eyes as I lay my arms around his waist. "But for now, let's appreciate the time we spend together until we are forced to say goodbye. And when that day comes, I'll wish you the best of bestest. A long and healthy and happy life, Theo."

"And, as selfish as this might sound, I will also hope that you keep me in your memories because you will certainly be in mine," he barely whispers enough for me to hear.

He will be in my memories. How could he not after the imprint he has left in me?

"Mrs. Mills told me that you deserve a meaningful love story—and I agree with her," he proceeds, releasing from the hug, but holding on to my hands. "So trust me when I say this as I hold your hand and look you in the eye, that I'll try my best to give you one because less than that you do not deserve." He's smiling, tears dwelled in his precious eyes. "Because this love we share between you and I is meaningful to me as much as I hope it is to you."

The moonlight shines on him in a way that makes him stand out in this resting town.

"And as much as the truth breaks my heart: Some love stories aren't meant forever."

There's a truth to his words that I find it hard to accept.

My breath quivers as I tell him to hug me, and he does so without questioning it.

I grip him close to me, wanting him to become a part of me in this instant so nothing nor no one can ever divide us.

With my head on his chest, I tell him, "Of all the love stories in the world, how did we become this one?"

He remains silent, just holding me as I hold him.

𖠇

Harvey is still on the field when I get there, waiting for me. The lamp posts are now shut down and he's sitting on the grass with his back facing me.

I realize he's shaking with tears watering the green grass as they roll down his cheek.

I kneel next to him and wrap my arms around him just the way he did when I cried. There's no need for me to tell him what's the matter. He'll let me know as soon as he feels comfortable.

"I'm awful," he murmurs. "I've done awful, atrocious things, Theo."

I still cling to him.

"Things others know and things I keep to myself because of how ashamed I am of them," he says, wiping his nose with the hem of his shirt. "And now karma has taken a toll on me for the hurt I've caused."

"Are you referring to the girls?" I ask him. "Genesis, Blaire, Aurora?"

He nods. "Especially Genesis."

He begins to speak of the time his relationship with her went downhill. The time in his life when he was discovering himself and his sexuality. The texts with the man from the app and how he went out with him. The things he did to him and the stain that action had left on his next relationships.

"That man, Theo," he explains. "The man that poisoned me will decide whether I enter the college I've been hoping to join ever since I started playing."

I have no words after the things he has told me. It's like he has ripped off a mask that unveiled a layer of him I could have never guessed of.

"He gets to dictate my future," Harvey says, staring at the grass. "And I'm scared. So scared."

Future. There's that word again.

"I'm here, Harvey," I tell him, holding his cheeks so he faces me. "That man did not poison you, so please stop saying that."

He begins to cry once again.

"You do not deserve to be in pain because of the mistakes you made in the past," I make clear. "You're not poison, Harvey. You are joy and laughter and much more that cannot be defined as poison."

He snuggles in my chest like a young boy that has never felt the warmth of a parent.

"I'm here, Harvey. I'll always be here for you, okay?" I caress his brown hair. "I'm here."

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