Like We Used To (Bazz B - Bleach Fanfiction)

Epilogue

He didn't know why he was standing outside of the cemetery now. He knew he wasn't invited to her funeral but he wanted to be there, he wanted to see her for the very last time but he knew, they wouldn't be too happy to see him there. As he stayed standing outside of the cemetery, watching them lower her casket inside of the hole, it made his heart clench but there was nothing that he could do.

His fingers knotted into the white fabric that he had tied around of his waist, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall down his eyes. Jugo touched him lightly on the shoulder, squeezing his shoulder, reassuring him that Rin was at a better place now, safe and away from harm, protected by god. "Let's go" Jugo said

Bazz B looked longingly at where her grave was at before nodding his head, following Jugo back to the car. There wasn't anything to say or do now. She was gone and he had to accept that fact. There was no going back.

Rin was the first one who showed him what it meant to love. She showed it how happy it will be to open up his heart to someone. To dance together with them and hold them close. But all of those were gone now, she was no longer here, no longer next to him, no longer holding him close.

He glanced back at the graveyard for the last time before he got into the car. It was at night when Karl showed up at his new apartment with a envelope in his hand. He had just handed it over to him, never saying a thing as he left. Bazz B had wanted to throw it but when he saw Rin's name on it, he couldn't stop himself from tearing the envelope open, dropping the contents of it out from it.

Bazz, if you're reading this, it means that I'm no longer here but I'll stay forever in your heart right?

What should I say first, I have so many things that I want to say to you that now that I think back about it, why didn't I say them in the first place? I'm sorry that I broke out promise first before you did (remember?) but I swear I'll be waiting for you at the other side. I'll get to tell you everything that I hadn't said to you now but until then, just hold out. I know you can do it, Bazz.

All these years, you were alone and I suddenly popped into your life (ha-ha) but I want to tell you that, being together with you, I was happy. I wouldn't want it to be any other way. I know you're probably frustrated, sad, and heartbroken right now but then don't be. I'm happy and you should be too.

I know there are a lot of unsaid words between of the both of us but I can reassure you that it's alright. The unsaid words can be kept. I know that you were happy being together with me too (No?) but I hope that you are because I truly loved you.

Don't take another step into the dark anymore. Don't push anyone out of your life anymore. Open your heart to them and accept everyone. And, I actually didn't want to add this in but, don't go taking revenge for me. I know that you're a hot headed person but if you are reading this and you hadn't done anything that you'll regret, please don't.

Learn to love again. Learn to break down your own remaining walls that I couldn't seem to break. Maybe one day you'll meet a girl who is much prettier than me J maybe one day, you'll get to start a family together with them, grow old and live the remaining life out together with each other J

I'm sorry that I couldn't be there to do all of those things together with you but I'll be watching you from above. I want to see you happy. I want to see you cradling your child close to you and smiling. I want to see all of those things that we weren't able to do together.

I love you and forever will, Bazz. I'm sorry this has to happen like that but one thing was for sure that, I wouldn't want the clock to turn back. I'm happy and content with what had happened. With our relationship but obviously not this part where I have to leave you but then again, maybe this was fate.

It was fate that I couldn't make it past the age of thirty. It was fate that I couldn't dance anymore. It was my fate that things has to happen this way but then again, I wouldn't change my own fate. Meeting you was the best thing that had ever happened in my life and I wouldn't want it any other way.

There were so many things that I want write down here that I think will drag on and on until this becomes an entire book. I'm just writing this so that you wouldn't feel like I left you just like that. This was my last words to you and I hope that you'll continue on living, happy.

I love you, Bazzard Black

Rin