The moon and The Star

Part 9

A/N: Hope y'all like this special chapter.

Sirius
Remus
Lily
James
Peter
Not in texting

Sirius POV,

Sirius fell back on his bed. He ran his hands over his face and he let out a frustrated sigh. He'd really screwed up this time. He wished he knew what he did wrong. He wished he could fix this.

He felt something dig into his back. What the...? He rolled over and pulled what appeared to be a CD out from under him. He started at the disc with a frown. The memory of it hastily being thrown on the bed when Remus ran out the door emerged.

Remus...

The thought of the perfect boy pulled at something in Sirius' chest. How could the one boy he loved so much give him this amount of pain. He couldn't even find it in himself to have an ounce of dislike for him. Every time he got hurt it was because of himself, not Remus. He was starting to wonder if maybe James was right. It wasn't worth the heartbreak. Then he'd remember who Remus was.

He was the nerd he admired, the boy obsessed with the stars. The one who would always give a smile to everyone who needed it. The boy with freckles and eyes so filled with passion. He was the boy a long time ago he had the luck of calling his best friend.

He was the boy who to Sirius would always be worth it.

Sirius thought he was finally re-kindling their relationship. He was starting to think he would get his friend back after all these years of thinking he hated him, not that he was really wrong in that but at least now he was starting to get close to him again.

James and Peter kept going on about how maybe they could be the Mauraders again. Prongs, Wormtail, Padfoot and Moony.

Oh Merlin, Moony. That was something he hadn't exactly planned for and thinking about it pulled at his gut. He didn't like the guilt of lying that built up in him every time he recalled texting Remus under the name of Padfoot.

He wished he could gather the courage to fess up to Remus. Admit that he was Padfoot, that Padfoot was him. He tried dropping little hints, he really did try yet somehow the boy he loved still hadn't caught on. At first keeping his identity a secret felt like a good idea. Warm up to him, prove that he isn't some snotty prick and then reveal himself. He ran out of that excuse when Remus started hanging out with him in real life.

Gods he was a mess. How did he manage to screw up everything in one night? The worst part was the he didn't understand what he even did. They were just talking and Remus was staring off to space after they were talking about Avatar and- oh no. Did he realize he was Pads? Did the Avatar stuff give him away.

Thinking about it, that would explain why he was so angry. Then again, that doesn't answer the question of why Remus shouted 'I can't believe I thought we could be friends' unless he felt that betrayed by the lying about being Padfoot.

Sirius groaned. No, that didn't fit. Remus wouldn't do that. He would want answers, wouldn't he.It wasn't like him to just assume he was Padfoot, he'd confront him about it and then continue to yell at him or something.

If only things were like when they were in Junior high. Things were so much simpler. There was no drama other than the awkward brushing of hands and red faces on the rare occasion. He wished none of it had changed. He wished Remus hadn't gone to America. He wished he hadn't came back acting as if Sirius didn't exist.

He wanted to tear out his heart to get the damn pain that had been inflicted upon it for the past three years to stop. Every time he was reminded Remus didn't like him back, not even as a friend despite what happened that day at the train station when he left. Despite the years and years of being best friends, the two of them growing up together with James and Peter.