An angels lover

~Bad news~

Alani

Watching the outside gets really dull when you can't experience it no more, I never thought the day would come when I say I want to go back to school but here I am.

I wonder if Lilac is worried about me or if Cultun made up some story of how I moved across the world. Probably to Canada.

I would love to move to Canada, anywhere really.

Three days ago was my birthday, I got given a note book and a pencil to write what I wanted down. As promised all was accomplished.

I asked for a keyboard and was given one, I asked for a tutor and was given one. To be honest I didn't even think I would be given one.

So home school isn't that bad, I'm still learning at least. I still talk to Killian and Chris making them break character form time to time.

Right now though, haven't seen Louis in over two weeks. He hasn't come to check on me, he hasn't come to drag me to a party. He hasn't come.

I was never able to get back on the bed afterwards so I've been sleeping on the couch, it really isn't that bad.

I've been teaching myself 'River flows in you' but it hasn't been to smoothest of journey, when I'm not studying you'll find me by the tv watching videos on how to improve.

The door opens behind me just as I'm about to reply the last quarter, I turn meeting the same dark eyes I haven't seen in a while.

"Here," he goes to hand me a bottle, I take it already knowing why he wants me to chug it. I turn back to the video letting it play as I drink.

To my surprise I finish the bottle then put it down close by, I pause the video then look down at my keyboard ready to play.

I play the start of the song flawlessly and eventually get to the middle, the end is where I mess up. I keep replaying the end, over and over again.

I finally get the urge to go pee making me move the keyboard and stand up, I turn seeing Louis on the edge of the made and unslept bed.

With no word he hands me another blue box and I take it, I move to the toilet opening it on my way there.

Like the first time he stands by the doorframe not giving me much privacy, I clean myself up then leave the bathroom moving past Louis.

I missed my period. Now I don't know if that's because I've been stressed and thrown around or if it's because I'm pregnant but, I've miss my period.

I pace back and forth in front of the balcony, even if my pace is slowly I can tell I'm putting Louis on edge.

He looks over at me, matter of fact I didn't realize this until now. He's been looking at me, staring if you will.

He moves form the door way and disappears into the bathroom, I wait for him frozen in place. My eyes wonder to Killian and Chris who's faces are not very welcoming now Louis is here.

"Leave us." Louis walks back in, with no hesitation the guards leave. "You're pregnant." Hearing the words hurt more then imagining them.

"But you already knew that." He looks back up at me form the stick.

"I only assumed." I tell him bringing my thumb up to my lips and I start biting my nail.

"You can't be." He moves to me.

"What?" I'm bewildered by his words. "You raped me three times for this baby and now you're gonna stand here and tell me I can't be fucking pregnant?!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!!" I almost scream.

"Do you know what this means?!" He tops my volume then I watch his jaw clench "You're gonna have to pay with your life."

"Then so be it! Wasn't you the one telling me anything is better then me being here?" I throw my hands up in the air.

"You don't understand." He shakes his head confusing me even more.

"Then help me understand!" I find myself taking a step towards him "You wanted this."

"I don't want this anymore." His words make my eyes tear up.

"What?" I'm so confused.

"I can't los— you can't die now." He shakes his head.

"You're not gonna make me get an abortion," I look at his dead eyes "you wanted this Louis! You fought for this! What is wrong with you?" My voice breaks "What is wrong with you?!"

I sink to my knees holding my stomach, this can't be right. He wanted this, he practically rip me from the arms of my lover to take advantage of me so I can have his baby.

Isn't this my duty as he put it? What am I doing so wrong now?!

"You know what?" I look up at him with watery eyes "I'm having this fucking baby and unless you kick it out my womb, you are not gonna stop me."

"I'll resent it for taking your life."

"You can't hate a baby! You know what?—" I give up "I'm gonna die and I'm good with that. I have nothing more to live for."