Clary had yet to follow the Militia as they retreated back to Hilltop where they would regroup before heading back to their respective communities. Instead, she sat upon her horse, gazing at the empty fields that they had just left. The place where she thought she could finally kill her greatest demons and avenge the deaths of those she loved had become a place of failure and loss.
The tears had barely begun to dry as she heard hooves approaching, knowing immediately it was Carl as the dark animal stood side by side with her own. His eye fell upon her as he bit the inside of his cheek in thought. He had admired his dad for saving Negan, grateful that the continuous cycle of war would end with that. But he also knew how important Negan's death was to Clary, being her main goal for so long. He was torn in whether to feel better for getting his father to listen to him or whether to feel terrible for taking away the revenge Clary and Maggie both needed.
"You okay?" Carl asked, knowing the question was mundane, especially in light of everything that had happened. He wasn't surprised when the girl stayed silent for a few moments, her breathing deep as if trying to calm herself. "You should be joining your father back to Hilltop," Clary spoke finally, her voice soft. Truthfully, he would rather her scream at him. Her controlled fury was dark and terrifying and made his heart grow heavy. Carl could only shake his head. "We'll catch up with them. I just needed to make sure my Commander was all right."
At that, Clary smiled softly, allowing her eyes to fall upon the boy. He looked the same as he had when they had left Hilltop, before the battle, where he hadn't gotten close to the battle save for a few stray Saviors who had tried to run. However, Clary's face fell slightly before she let out a deep breath. "It's over. Just like that. I feel like it's the only part of me I can remember and now?" Clary scoffed. "Now I don't have a war to fight anymore. All I've ever known is how to fight, so what do I do now?" Clary questioned. "What becomes of the Angel of Death when she doesn't have to fight or kill?"
Clary knew the boy would be unable to answer the question. The Saviors, although taking his friends, had been a new enemy. Clary had too much experience with them from months prior to stumbling upon Alexandria, the weight of that time never fading. "There may not be a war to fight, but we still have to keep going. We're not just surviving anymore. Now it's a chance to live, without the Saviors being a threat." Carl maneuvered his horse closer, allowing his hand to rest on her knee. "We take each day as another step to tomorrow. We have time, now. We can rebuild Solaris, and make it not just housing for soldiers but a home for families. We can make it that, together."
Once again, Clary was amazed by the amount of hope the boy held in his voice, a hope she could not share. "I've been the Angel of Death for so long. How am I supposed to just let go of that?" Clary questioned, meeting the boy's gaze to see him bite the inside of his cheek in thought. "I don't think you can ever really let go of that part of you. Like you said before, you and the Angel of Death are one and the same. But maybe instead of a punisher, you can be a protector." Clary clenched her jaw, shaking her head. "I used to think I was strong... that I became the Angel of Death so I could be strong for others." Clary scoffed. "In reality... I was fragile. I was so close to breaking from losing my sister so I just tightened my armor to keep the broken pieces together. I hurt people that hurt me— the very same reason I wanted to kill Negan. So tell me, how can I be a protector when I'm that weak? That selfish?" Carl could not respond.
Upon seeing his silence, Clary looked away to allow her eyes to land upon the singular tree that seemed hundreds of miles away. "Come on, we should get back. From Hilltop, we'll be heading back to Alexandria almost immediately to see what damage was done."
As they turned their horses, preparing to go back to the community, Clary looked at the boy. "Is your dad— is he taking him there?" Carl clenched his jaw, not wanting to share the answer for fear of what she would say. Nonetheless, he nodded his head softly. "Yes. We're going to keep him locked up, for good. He won't be able to get to you in Alexandria, not behind those bars."
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revenant|c.g.|
Fanfiction(n.) a person who has returned, especially supposedly from the dead C⃠G⃠ - Book 2 of the Virago Series C⃠G⃠ -all rights reserved to AMC and those involved in the making of The Walking Dead. My character along with her storyline and new characters in...