Michael’s POV
Michael Clifford Puts His Past Behind Him?
5SOS Are Putting Michael’s Past To Rest.
5 Seconds of Summer’s Guitarist Has Learned From His Past, But Continues to Move Forward With Band!
5SOS Wins Award, Clifford Pops The Question To His Longtime Girlfriend!
Michael Clifford and Chloe Rosewood, Engaged?
Are Michael and Chloe Engaged?
Michael Clifford’s Dangerous Past: What You Didn’t Know!
Is Michael Clifford An Alcoholic?
Did 5SOS Guitarist End Up In Rehab Because He Was Addicted To Alcohol?
Will Michael Clifford Ever Come Clean About His Past?
What Really Happened To Michael Clifford The Fateful Day That Started It All?
I scroll through article after article about me. Either about my past, the band, or Chloe and I. I figured I should clear everything up with a really long tweet.
@5SOS: I guess it’s time for me to come clean about my past. When my parents first died, I didn’t know how to handle the grief. I hid out at my parents house and avoided everyone. That’s when it all started, the drinking that is. At first, it was small amounts. Gradually, it got worse and worse. Pretty soon, I was going through like 3 or 4 bottles of liquor a day. I thought it was the only way to handle the pain. I knew it was dangerous, but at the time I was just doing anything I could to numb the pain. I just wanted to forget, even for a couple of hours. I just became a habit I guess. I never realized how bad I was until the day my wake up call came. I had just woken up with the worst hangover ever. That day when I checked my phone, was the day my world came crashing down around me. The girl I loved was in the hospital with one foot in her grave. Chloe was dying, or was close to dying anyways. I caught the first flight to LA and had Ashton check me into rehab. I never realized how close I was to losing Chloe. I never ever want to feel the way I did that day ever again. I felt like my world was crashing around me and I didn’t think I could slip any lower. That’s when I realized I had hit rock bottom. But that made me think of a saying I once heard, “Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom and hurting the ones you love to realize what you have become is not what you planned and who you are is not who you like.” I honestly felt empty and worthless. I just felt empty. I cried so hard that day, like I couldn’t stop. I think I cried for 3 or 4 days straight before I actually got better. I fought and struggled so damn hard the first few weeks, it was so hard. I fought and struggled with the sadness, the grief, the addiction, everything. But whenever I thought of giving up, I would think of Chloe, Ashton, Calum, and Luke. I fought and I fought hard. It was a struggle but after about 5 weeks, it wasn’t so hard anymore. I stayed and did the 90 days of rehab. When I finally got out, I was so proud of myself. I had made it! But I will never forget the day it all started or the day I hit rock bottom. I still struggle with my demons and my past to this day, but the boys and my fiance help me out. I realize I need to look around and accept the help offered to me. Some problems are just too big for me to handle on my own. But I promise, I will never be as bad as I once was. I am a better man and I never want to feel the way I did ever again. Thank you to everyone who has helped me through this journey and continues to help me. I will never take anything for granted again and every day I wake up grateful for what I have now. I thank God and my parents (who are watching over me) for giving me a second chance in life. I feel like that is what this is, a second chance, and I don’t plan on wasting it. I love everyone who has helped me and stuck by me no matter what. Thank you for everything! I will never be able to repay you for what you have done for me. -Mikey
@Michael5SOS: Never forget! Sometimes coming clean about your past is the first step of moving on and moving forward. #thestrugglewasreal #thepainwasreal #Imadeit
I get up and head down to the kitchen. I put my head in my hands, I just can’t get the image out of my head. Imagining Chloe lying there, slowly killing herself while I selfishly drowned my sorrows in alcohol to forget about my pain for a little while. How could I have been so stupid? Why didn’t I realize I was hurting everyone I loved? I feel someone place their and on my shoulder, causing me to jump.
“Sorry.” They apologize and I realize it’s Ashton.
“Are you alright?” He asks worriedly.
“No.” I reply.
“What’s wrong?” He says, frowning.
“I just need a friend right now!” I reply, letting a tear escape my eye.
He pulls me over to the couch, “Of course Michael, I’m right here. What do you need me to do?” He asks.
“I just need you to listen.” I tell him.
He nods, telling me to go on.
“I don’t know how the fans are gonna react now that they know the entire truth. I just have this image in my head of Chloe laying in bed, tears in her eyes, as she slowly kills herself. Her body slowly withering away as she gets thinner and thinner. The dark circles under her eyes, her clothes hanging off her body. When I imagine that, I feel someone taking a knife and pushing it into my heart. My heart aches and I can’t help but cry, imagining her like that. I just feel so guilty whenever I think about it. I know I told everyone I was trying to move on from my past, but how can I when I know what I put her through. All the pain she felt, all the tears she cried, all the ache I put on her heart. I just feel so fucking selfish and guilty for putting her through all that. I know I’m gonna have my bad days, where I struggle with my demons. I’ll have my good days too. But I need to know you, Calum, and Luke will always be here for me, no matter what.” I tell him.
“Michael, the fans love you no matter what. If they see you differently because of this, then they aren’t true fans. I’m sorry about what happened to Chloe, but you can’t change or fix that. I realize it’s gonna take you a while to actually accept this and move on, but you will get there eventually. As for your bad days, all of us are gonna be here for you to help you through it. You never have to fight this battle alone. You did once, but you never have to again. We’ll always have your back, no matter what. Always remember that we’ll always be here, all you have to do is reach out to us.” He replies.
“Thank you, I can’t imagine where I would be without any of you.” I state.
“I don’t even want to imagine, I don’t want to imagine losing either you or Chloe.” He says.
I try to hold in my tears, but it doesn’t work. I knew today was gonna be a bad day. Ashton sighs and goes up to our room to get Chloe. She comes out, but doesn’t say a word. She hugs me, holding me close and comforting me. She continues to whisper comforting words in my ear as we both lay down. I just lay there in her arms, knowing this is what I needed. We just lay there for a while, none of say anything. We end up spending the rest of the day on the couch, sharing whispered words as we both fall asleep.
