Out Of Wreckage?

Chapter Twenty

It was after hours of pain of losing someone I loved, I didn't rose from my stupor.
This was worse than the time I had lost my mother. Probably because my father was there to hold me from breaking down.
But now I have no one.

Death is inevitable.

Abba had told me and I knew it too but still I wasn't ready for him to leave me alone, right at the time when I was going to be a parent myself.

I wished he had stayed longer and watched me embrace the motherhood. We hadn't spoken much since I came here yet his mere existence was comforting me even when we were miles apart.

I wish, I had done something to save him or had been beside him when he breathed his last.
This thought just ate me alive of not been able to look after him when he needed me the most.

I couldn't be a good daughter even when I did everything he had asked for.

I was wrapped in my melancholy that I didn't notice my husband walk through the doors.

Nida may have simply trudged out the moment she saw him.

He grunted out aloud to announce his presence.

I didn't look up. I didn't want to fight at the moment. I just continued praying.

"Err... How are you feeling?" He asked me with great hesitation.

I was too caught up in my grief and anger. I ignored to answer his question which only agitated him.

"I'm asking you, Rabia." His tone was harsh.

"Please. Leave me alone." I pleaded in a low voice.

He quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

"You ungrateful bitch! I saved your face by compromising my work and visiting that dead old prick in another city." He grimaced.

I tried to struggle out of his hold. "Leave my hand."

"If I'm asking you then it's only for the sake of my son and you're obliged to answer my questions."

I pursed my lips. Tears strained my cheeks.

"I haven't forgotten the way you behaved yesterday. You are a woman and you're required to speak in a low tone."

I gathered my strength and pushed him.

"Enough! I just can't have it more. Have you got no shame? I lost my father, Aslam. I couldn't be there when I was required. I wasn't there to see him one last time. Currently, I desire nothing but space to lament for my loss and you expect me to answer your question. No, I'm not fine. How could I be? You could have answered my Abba's calls yesterday when he was desperately trying to reach me. You could have taken me with you to Hyderabad when I had asked you to. You could have been empathetic towards me and my father. You could least have the courtesy to not badmouth a dead man and now you can leave me alone so that I could pray for his soul." I spoke with fury.

There was no change of emotions on his face. Perhaps, he was more angry than I had ever seen but I was not frightened.

What could he do to me apart from the things he had done earlier?
All this while, I was quiet because of my father but now I couldn't keep my anger at bay.
I had to take it out.

He removed the belt that he was wearing.

I gasped. He had hit me several times but had never used an object to beat me.

My legs wobbled when he wipped the belt on my arm.

I winced in pain.

"You should know Rabia, there are consequences for you if you disobey me. I believe it's my fault that I've been too lenient with you from the past few days but remember, I did it only for the welfare of my son."

"Aslam!"

"I let you speak earlier but that doesn't mean I'll take your attitude. This is my house and I provide you with the luxuries that your poor father couldn't afford to buy anytime."

He walloped the belt again, making me almost jump. "Ouch!"

"Your father clearly failed at the one thing he was so proud of. He didn't discipline you well. Remember, I would forgive you now just because you're not in your right mind but if this yelling of yours harms my son in anyway then I would never forgive you. Do you understand?"

I protectively clutched my belly and nodded.

He smirked, satisfied with himself and threw the belt on the floor.

"Good, now like a wife I expect you to be, quickly serve me food."

Thankfully, the meal was spread on the dining table. I was indebted to Nida.

The sting on my arm wasn't bearable but the emotional burden was much worse.
This man was completely heartless and with him I had learnt tonight that there was no room for argument ever.

That night he had claimed me again but not the way he always did, causing more damage to my soul then he already had. It hurt a million times more.
He was like a beast who had no sensitive bone in him.
I wanted this night to end. I squirmed under him.
My body had given up with his every thrust. I wanted to die but then I briefly closed my eyes and tried to remember my baby. I had to be careful from now on.
I had lost everything I had but didn't want to lose the child growing in me. It was not my child's fault. Infact, it was my only hope of survival. I had to live for this baby. Anyhow.

Aslam left for his room after he was done torturing me.
I was no longer wailing my heart out like I used to. I wasn't scared for myself but I truly was for the baby.

There were many other concerns that bothered me as
I was in my first trimester and seven long months were still due for him.
Firstly, how would I keep him protected inside for these many months?
Secondly, how would I manage my health with Aslam around? The baby would mostly not survive if I have my second panic attack.
Third, once he'll be born, how would I be able keep him away from his father's sudden wrath? This man is unpredictable. That's going to be a very tough task. I won't be able to view my child getting hit by his own dad. Any child should not be subjected to such abuse.
Fourth one, how will I make sure that my son doesn't turn like him in future?
I had to be particular about my child's upbringing.
But majorly I dreaded if it's not a son.
Would a man like Aslam accept a daughter?

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