Out Of Wreckage?

Chapter Twenty Nine

I was tongue tied for a moment. His eyes didn't leave mine.

"Tell me. What caught your tongue now?" He compelled.

I pursed my lips. I was more worried about his reaction.

"Do you love me, Rabia? Tell me the truth." He asked, getting more louder this time.

"You really want to know." I found my voice again.

"Didn't I make it clear? Who do you love if not your cousin?"

"Fine." I gritted my teeth in anger, "I don't have any feelings for Fahad. I agree, I thought about him when he wasn't married but the day he chose somebody else I didn't let myself even think about him. After we got married, I tried to do everything I could to like you. I really did but everytime I moved one step ahead, you pushed yourself back. So to answer your question, I don't love you now but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you. You're my husband and the father of my child but yes, there are many things between us that can't evoke any sudden emotions of affection. I'm willing to make this marriage work just for the sake of Bushra which is why I'm still here." I said.

He smiled as soon as I finished talking.

"And I would like to keep it that way." He replied, confusing me.

"What do you mean?"

"Love is for fools. It makes a person weak. I don't like that. This is what I want. Your dependence on me. It's better now that you have no one to rely on but me." He mumbled before lying on the pillow.

I was perplexed after what he just said.

"Do you need anything else? I might be tired but I could make my mood for you." He smirked as he threw the covers aside and made me take a step back.

I shook my head and left his chamber in hurry.
I splashed a lot of water on my face before I returned to my girl.

She was fast asleep.

While in my dark room, lying beside my daughter. I couldn't gather any sleep.

He never left a chance to jolt me. Bemused and restless, I could only think about the conversation we had but there was one thing I was sure about.

This marriage was a sheer compromise. He didn't expect any fondness from me and neither did I. He wanted me to be contingent on him while I believed in co-dependency.

I married him for the sake of my father and now when I'm trapped in it just for my daughter, he reminded me that I'm just another servant to him who's here so that our little girl could get what she deserves.

Even if I want to, I can't take her away from Aslam. She adores him so much.

It's her picture of a happy family that I don't want to destroy.

I tried my best but every other day, it seemed like I had to put in some more efforts.

And the saddest part is that he knows this is my only vulnerability and he's smartly using it for his own selfish reasons.

I might be coward, good for nothing woman as he says but I want my daughter to have everything she desires, to be everything whatever she wants to be because she's the only reason left for my existence and I'm ready to endure anything, sacrifice my joy for her sake, keep that pretty smile on her face.

My lips curved up as I raked my hand lovingly on her forehead.

"You won't be anything like me. You would be better, my love. Much better." I whispered.

Thankfully, she didn't wake up.

One moment, I was vowing to protect her happiness and in the other, I was clogged in a wall of fear.