Out Of Wreckage?

Chapter Forty Five

His sudden proposal caught me off-guard.
His eyes were pleading for an answer. The anticipation was clearly obvious.
After all these years when my life was at tranquility, I found a sudden shift from it.
Hamza was everything a girl would want in a man.
Handsome, well settled, respectable but more than that he was a great human.
He was patient, good humoured, honest and fun loving.
He never crossed any limits of respect or discomfort.

To marry a man like him would be a huge honour but marrying a broken divorcee with a kid like me wouldn't be the same case with him. He deserved better. On one hand, my heart wanted me to say yes but on the other hand, all I could think of his reputation and most importantly, was I ready to get in this bond of marriage again.
It scared me at a point. I knew Hamza was not Aslam but after a very painful trauma, I was happy again.
I had everything I could ask for, my daughter, my friends, my family, and an upright life.

"Rabia, I know it's difficult but I want you to trust me on this. I'll do everything in my best capabilities to provide a life that you and Bushra deserves. The best one." His tone held that confidence that made me believe in him.

I gulped. This was difficult.
How should I tell him?

"I know that you would do everything for us and that's very flattering but I don't know whether I'm ready for another relationship." I managed to say, finally peering at him.

I knew, I broke his heart and I hated myself for it.
He recuperated himself and smiled, "I understand."

"I'm sorry, Hamza." I broke down.

"No. No. Rabia, please don't cry. It's perfectly alright. You needn't apologize for it. You're allowed to chose and I respect your decision. I'm fine with us staying as friends as long as you're in my life." He said, while quickly fishing out a clean napkin from his pocket.

"Hamza, thank you for everything."

"Friends needn't thank each other.  I'm there whenever you need me." He said and I nodded.

Throughout the car ride, I felt this guilt eating me up.
He even tried to cheer me up by cracking a joke or two.

Finally, the car came to a halt.
"Thank you for the ride." I got down after thanking him. He was also quick on his feet while I opened the door to the backseat.

"Bushra, wake up darling." She stirred but didn't wake up.

"Let her sleep. Allow me to carry her, may I?" He asked.
I took a step back and let him scoop my daughter in his arms.
As we walked through the doors, I could see many women eyeing him with appreciation.
They were completely awestruck. Who wouldn't?
I felt this sudden pang of jealousy for a man whose offer I had recently rejected.

Once we reached the corridors, I stopped him.

"Thanks but I can take from here on. Men are not permitted to enter the rooms. It's a rule here." I told him.

He gently passed her to me.
Unfortunately, Bushra opened her eyes and embraced me tightly before closing them again.

Hamza smiled as he waited outside while I laid her down on our bed and covered her with my duvet.
As I looked at him from my window, I could see this longing in his eyes.

He was fidgeting with his fingers when I joined him in the corridor.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him, feeling stupid at my own question.

"I have something to ask you." He hesitated.

I bobbed my head.

"Can I atleast visit you on every weekend? Only if you don't mind."