Out Of Wreckage?

Chapter Sixteen

Affliction.
It was unbearable. I was hugging myself, sitting on the floor and hiding in one dark corner of this room.

My eyes glued to the door.

He just left after his lust was satisfied. Probably, this wasn't his room at all. None of his stuff were in the room and I was glad that he left.

Yet I was scared to the probability that he'll be back again and cause more damage then he already did.

I tried to control my whimper so that he won't return but failed miserably.

My entire body was shaking. The blood stains on the bedsheet made me throw up. I instantly pulled the sheets and tossed them in the bin.
My clothes which he had ripped were lying in one corner. I threw them too.

The night seemed longer but I also didn't want the sun to rise. I don't want to face him but I have to, in the morning.

I thought I was being judgemental before. I thought that I was mistaken to form an opinion about his behaviour.
I didn't expect anything grand from him.
I just wanted him to understand me, to be solicitous but he was far from what I had imagined him to be.

I had told him to take things slow, to give me some time. I was willing to put my soul into this relationship but he destroyed everything.

I continuously wiped my face with the back of my hand.
I got up and leaped into the bathroom where I puked again.

I was nauseated. I didn't had anything since afternoon and whatever I had just got out my system. My body was aching.

I ran the shower on and let the water cascade down my body. I wiped my body continuously to wash away his touch. I couldn't bear it on my skin for a second. After I was done, I stopped the shower and covered myself with a towel. I wore another set of clothes and covered myself entirely and plodded towards the kitchen. The images of him, last night flashed inside my head. The way he was eating the food that I cooked twisted my gut.

I shook my head and poured some water in the glass.
I gulped down few sips and placed the half-filled glass on the kitchen counter.

The silence around me was dreadful. There was no one here who could listen to me or with whom I could share my pain.

I missed my father. I was happy with him at our home in Adilabad.

That won't be our home now. It will be sold soon. Abba must have left with Chacha. He might have reached Hyderabad. I want to know whether he's okay.
I want to speak to my father or just hear his voice.

I won't be able to tell him about me. I can't worry him when he's dealing with his own share of problems. He won't be able to take it. He'll blame himself and I know it.
I can't tell him.

I peeled some oranges and put them on a plate to get back to my room.

On my way, I saw the door to his room. I could hear his loud snores even when the door was shut.

I have to live with this man in this house. He is my husband.
I need the energy to face him everyday. I just don't know how will I be able to see him around me in the morning.

Once I was in the room, I kept the plate near the night stand and lied back on the carpet. I couldn't make myself sleep on the bed again. I pulled the blanket and got beneath it.
I was sore and drowsy. I closed my eyes again, praying for the sleep to consume me.

I opened my eyes to see the sky still dark.
I glanced at the clock, it was the time for me to offer my morning prayers. I got to my feet and stormed in the bathroom for ablution