Falling - Bellamy Blake X Reader

Chapter 24

Remember Grounder Language Is In Bold

(Y/N POV)
As I watch Clarke and Bellamy bid their goodbyes to each other an odd sensation starts to bubble in my stomach. It wasn't jealously, no, it was disgust. I'm disgusted by the fact we're going to be in the same building, disgusted we'll be in the same vicinity of each other, disgusted with the thought of seeing his face constantly for the next few days. After a couple minutes of awkwardly standing there just watching them exchange goodbyes they are finally done, Clarke walks back to the sky people while Bellamy stays planted in front of Lexa and I. My whole body was hoping he would change his mind last minute and follow Clarke but unfortunately for me he didn't. Lexa began explaining to him some basic rules and I didn't wanted anything else but to just sneak off and get the farthest away from him as possible. But I knew no matter how bad I wanted to do that I couldn't due to the fact my people need me. This time I'm not going to be a coward and run away from him again, this time I'm going to show him what he lost and make damn sure he regrets it.

By the time my thoughts come to a stop Lexa and Bellamy are done with their little conversation meaning now we can finally go back home.

As we're walking back to the horses Lexa says, "You're identity will remain a secret to Bellamy until a deal is made. I don't want him knowing who you are to affect anything. Understood?" When Lexa starts speaking in Trigedasleng I can see out of the corner of my eye Bellamy tense up probably due to the fact he heard Lexa say his name while she was talking in a different language.

"Ya I understand but I can't walk around in a hood 24/7. And what if him knowing who I truly am helps get us a better deal." As those words come out of my mouth I realize it means I might have to talk to him but if it helps my people I would do anything, including having a civilized conversation with my horrible cheating ex boyfriend.

"Using your identity will be last resort, considering what happened between you two I don't want to put you in a situation that forces you to talk or even be near him. (You told her about you and Bellamy dating and him cheating, she's the only grounder who knows.) The last thing I want is for my sister to have a chat with the dumbass who cheated on her. And you'll only have to wear a hood outside your room, it will be more like 22/5 instead of 24/7." Lexa informed me trying to hold back a laugh at the not so funny joke she made at the end.

"Haha you're so funny." I deadpan in English while getting on Eria, the moment I switch back to English Bellamys full attention is on me.

I ignore his gaze hoping he'll go away and get on a horse but sadly he doesn't instead he decides to ask, "Do I know you?"

"No, now go away and get on a damn horse before we leave you here." I say trying my best to change my voice since its probably the reason he thinks he knows me.

"You sound so familiar." Bellamy mumbles more to himself than me before sulking away probably to go find Lexa who must of walked away while he was staring at me.

A few moments pass by as I'm sitting on Eria braiding small strands of her mane together waiting for Lexa's instruction to move out, finally after what feels like hours of waiting Lexa rides up next to me on her horse followed by a guard on his horse with Bellamy on the back.

"You'll be riding in the back with River, it's quite a long ride and you don't need to be by Bellamy unless you have to." Lexa informs me before taking off to the front with the guard and Bellamy following after her. I start my way to the back of the group but not before recalling what went down between River and I. I have to figure out what to say to him before I get back there because if I don't its either going to be awkward and/or tense. I know for sure I want to tell him I have feelings for him, but what I'm not sure on is if I'm ready to be in another relationship just yet. Taking things slow and not labelling it would most likely be the best option, because then if he goes and does what Bellamy did I won't be as hurt since we won't technically dating.

But then again River is nothing like Bellamy and wouldn't do anything on purpose to hurt me, or that's at least what I think I could be wrong about him just like I was with Bellamy. After fighting with my thoughts I come to the conclusion I want to be with River but with everything going on in my life a relationship probably isn't the best idea. So the plan is to confess I like him and then suggest we take things slow and just see where it goes from there. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I catch a glance of River riding his horse while talking to a random girl around our age. Feelings of jealously start to form in the pit of my stomach, as the back of the group proceeds closer to where I'm stopped on the side of the trail I do my best at pushing the unwanted feelings of jealousy away. Bellamy defiantly did a number on me if I'm able to get jealous just over the boy I like talking to a different girl.

They don't seem to notice me because they pass without even the slightest glance in my direction.

"River!" I yell trying to get his attention and determined to tell him how I really feel. I succeed because he immediately stops talking to the girl and focus's his gaze in my direction. Even though I'm still in the hood the covers my face I can tell he knows its me because he begins to get flustered probably remembering back to the time we last spoke. Without even telling the girl bye he makes his way over to be, which results in her giving me the death glare. I felt satisfied with the fact River clearly wasn't interested in her but captivated by me instead.

"We need to talk." I say while making Eria walk slower then the group so there's a space between the group on us, giving us a small amount of privacy.

"Look I don't know what I-" River begins to ramble obviously thinking I'm about to reject him but I'm quick to cut him off.

"Stop, okay? Just listen to me for a minute."

*finished editing*

a/n
hi guys I just wanted to let everyone know school for me has started back up so that means I won't update as frequently as I did during Christmas break but I'll try my best to update as much as I can.