Falling - Bellamy Blake X Reader

Chapter 33

(Y/N POV)
Not even seconds into the trip I was already missing River and everything about home dearly. I didn't realize how accustomed I came to Polis until I had to up and leave it, returning to the very place I wished never to see again. And to make matters worse Bellamy would soon find out my true identity if he didn't already know. I didn't get to ponder much longer because I heard someone ride up next to me. I rode alone in the front not only because I was in charge due to being the commanders second but also because I didn't want to deal with Bellamy or anyone else for that matter. 

"Funny seeing you here." The person beside me speaks up, their voice being all too familiar not to recognize.

I didn't even have to look over at them to know exactly who it was. The sound of his voice was enough for me to identify him as the last person on earth I wanted to see at the moment, Bellamy Blake. Unlike the other times we spoke I didn't have my cloak to cover my true self so the possibility of what he was going to want to talk about was endless. 

"You're taking this better than I expected. I thought the reveal of my identity would send you into a coma." I reply while keeping my gaze in front of me, taking note of the calmness that laced his voice. 

"I'm not as dumb as you and Lexa make me out to be, I've had my suspicious since I first heard you speak. I knew for sure when I saw you in the town that one day." The smugness that came from his tone was enough for me to want nothing more then to punch him right there and then, but sadly I couldn't. I needed to not only lead and focus on my people but set a good example also.

"Do you need something or have you just came to gloat about unnecessary shit." I retort back wanting to make it clear we aren't on good terms at all, even if a small part of me still feels something for him. 

"I just wanted to talk to you. I missed you." He replies, saying the last part so quietly as if it was only for him to hear, not me. Hearing him say he missed me made my heart pound in my chest but its pace went back to normal after reminding myself he cheated and I'm with River who I adore so much. 

"You wouldn't have to miss me if you didn't cheat." I state whilst giving him a pointed look. Eria trots a few feet ahead before he even has time to respond. I'm not sure if she sensed the tension or just went after a bug but either way I was grateful she did because I'm not sure if I could mentally handle the lame excuse Bellamy was planning to use. Bellamy didn't bother me during the trip again. A large portion of me was happy that he stayed away from me but a microscopic part of me was disappointed he didn't even try and make an effort to set things right between us.

Time seemed to fly after my not so lovely 'conversation' with Bellamy because before I knew it I began recognizing the woods where I used to scavenge for food at, this only meant we were close. Very close. I could feel the blood rushing to my head at the mere thought of the camp. My stomach transformed into a pile of knots the very second I caught glimpse of a wall through the trees. I didn't need a closer look to confirm it as the very place I left and was now sadly going back to. I had a small time slot before arriving at the gates so I used the small moment I had to put on the most calm, confident, and unbothered facade I could muster under the circumstances. I might be dying on the inside but I'll be damned if I make a fool out of myself. Before I know it I find myself at outside the gates counting down the seconds until I'm reunited with the very place I wished to never return to. 

"Open up Miller!" I hear Bellamy yell from beside me, I must of been so lost in thought I hadn't realized he rode up next to me.

"Guys! Bellamys back!" Miller anncouuces to who I assume the crowd inside. I don't know if he hadn't seen me or any of the other 15 'grounders' or if he didn't care enough to mention us but either way he only acknowledged Bellamy. Not even seconds after Bellamys order to Miller the gates began opening. I could hear the excited cheers inside regarding Bellamys return but they all fell silent the moment they caught just the slightest glimpse of the us 'grounders.' Trotting in on my horse with my people and Bellamy following close behind I'm able to pick up on a few whispers here and there.